Our extensive list of celebrity twin baby names will help you narrow down two of the finest names for your own double trouble of joy! Whether you are looking for unique twin names, popular twin names or cool names starting with the same letter, you are sure to find plenty of options.

Celebrity twin girl names

The Social Security Administration listed Isabella&Sophia as the most popular girl twin names. However, celebs also love the name Grace. Check out some unique and cool celebrity twin girl names below.

Also check out twin girl names: Popular and unique ideas >>

Celebrity twin boy names

The Social Security Administration lists Jacob and Joshua as the most popular twin boy names. Most celebrities have avoided picking these popular twin boy names. However, they do trend toward naming their twins with names starting with the same letter, such as Jaid and Jax.

Also check out twin boy names: Cool and clever ideas >>

Celebrity twin boy/girl names

The twin names Madison and Mason topped the Social Security's list of top names for the year. Celebrities with a twin sib-set of boy/girl have picked names running the gamut from traditional to trendy and unique.

More baby name ideas

Top twin girl names of 2012
Top twin boy/girl names of 2012
Do's and don'ts when naming twin babies

Traditionally, bucket lists were created by people in the twilight of their lives, people who were literally about to "kick the bucket" but these days families are making bucket lists to connect, reconnect or revitalize their relationships with one another.

Creating a family bucket list is an amazing way to make memories that will last a lifetime for you and your family while strengthening your family bond too.

The sky's the limit

Get the entire family involved and gathered together to discuss what experiences you would like to share as a family. If you’ve always dreamed of taking a road trip to see the Grand Canyon, Mt. Rushmore or the Statue of Liberty; if you've always wanted to swim with dolphins in Hawaii, or have your picture taken with Mickey Mouse, add it to your list.

While travel adventures may be a great way to connect as a family, your bucket list items don't have to be elaborate or expensive. Be sure to include some simple, easily achievable goals too, like: Paint a room in your home together, camp out in the back yard, take a bike ride, adopt a puppy, establish a weekly game night or create a coat of arms for your family.

Put it in writing

We all know when goals are written down, they are much more likely to happen. Too often, we talk about wanting to do something or saving activities for "someday." If we don't set aside the time now, it will pass us by. Include specific plans, timelines and other necessary details to ensure the items on your bucket list are accomplished.

Show it off

Be proud of your hopes for your family by posting your bucket list for everyone to see and revisit it often to make additions and cross off activities completed.

Before your family grows up, drifts apart and you and your spouse become empty nesters, make time for family bonding because doing things together — big and small — will only strengthen your love and connection as a family.

More on family connections

8 Family activities to mark off the bucket list
Make a summer bucket list with your kids
5 Ways to stay connected with your family

When Mom and Grandma don't get along

Your daughter has been begging to see Grandma and wants to know not if — but when — she’s coming over for the holidays.

But you and your mother haven’t exactly been getting along and the idea of setting a place for her at the holiday dinner table makes you more than a little anxious. So how should you handle your drama with your mom without hurting your kids?

Parenting is all about those three Ss: Sacrifices, selflessness and sucking it up. So, you can probably see where we're going with this. You and your mom are most likely going to have to put your differences aside during the holidays. But before you start imagining a scenario where you're singing "Kumbayah" by the fire, relax, because you don't necessarily need to be present when she spends time with your child.

It's so not about you... especially during the holidays

"Holidays are a time where nerves are frayed and cracks in relationships are more evident than ever," says life coach Shari Goldsmith. "So here's the deal: Is it unhealthy for your daughter to spend time with your mother? If the answer is no, then the change has to all come from you. This is one of those things that you are going to have to search deep down in your soul and find the patience to make this happen."

Keep your kids connected with their grandparents>>

Your child's memories are important

Remember that thing about "sucking it up" that you read earlier? Now's the time to do it.

"The holidays should not be about you and things that are irritating about your parents. It should be about a time where family can be together for a time and cultivate good memories," stresses David Simonsen, M.S. LMF.

"I think a parent should do two things. First, I think the parent should put their children first and think about the memories of the holiday. This would mean making things right with the grandparentseven if they don't want to. Secondly, if a parent can't make things right, I think you still invite the grandparents over and bite your tongue," adds Simonsen.

There is a teaching moment

Biting your tongue — especially when it's your mom doing all the talking — can be easier said than done. But if you can, this can be a chance to teach your child something important.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula says, "It is also a wonderful way to model good behavior to your own kids — even if it feels hard especially if your parent is lobbing criticism your way — teach your child about grace, manners and decorum by treating your own mother well and not taking the bait when offered. Your drama with your mom is not your child's problem — so take the high road and don't make it his or her problem."

More tips for a stress-free holiday

Top ways to have a drama-free holiday
Prep yourself for the stress of the season
Holiday-stress? 10 Ways to relax and enjoy the season

Save a tree

digital greetings

Your family has gone "green" in so many other aspects of your life this past year. Why not round out 2012 by lending the environment one more helping hand and sending out your holiday cards digitally?

From websites that are dedicated to saving you hours in line at the post office to apps that make sending your cards as easy as uploading a photo from your phone, you'll never have to address another envelope or peel another stamp again!

Smilebox

Using Smilebox to create digital holiday cards is perfect if you want to go a little bit more custom than a standard template, but aren't a Photoshop maven. The program is free to download and installs directly onto your computer . Once you're in Smilebox, you can pick from one of their dozens of holiday card templates, including photo card templates that will allow you to customize colors, fonts and number of pictures, and personalize it with your family's details. Once it's perfect, sending it via email or posting it on Facebook is as simple as another click, and all for free.

Still working on getting a picture for your cards this year? Here's how to capture the perfect Christmas card photo>>

justWink

This app allows you to send holiday cards directly from your iPhone, which is perfect, considering all of the great photos of your kids are on your iPhone anyway! Download the free justWink app, pick your favorite card and upload a photo from your library. You can easily add a customized message and, our favorite part, you get to create your own signature, using your finger on the screen of your phone for a truly personalized touch . Send via email, Facebook, Twitter or text message — all for no charge.

PicMonkey

Who remembers the online photo editing website, Picnik? Who cried when it was acquired by Google and shut down, ending your fun and easy way to edit photos and create cute cards? We're raising our hands. Well, there's a new Picnik on the block that's helping to mend our broken hearts — PicMonkey! Just like Picnik, PicMonkey is easy to use, offers most of its features for free and is a fantastic option for creating a digital holiday card this year. Upload your favorite photo, use their editing tools to make it perfect, add fun text and winter graphics and you're ready to save and send. PicMonkey allows you to save your projects in high-quality digital files, making them as pretty as possible for emailing and posting online.

Paperless Post

If you are a digital mom and haven't experienced Paperless Post yet, you're in for a treat. In fact, you may want to sit down because you may swoon over the custom look of these digital holiday cards. Best known for their online invitation service, Paperless Post also allows you to send custom cards, such as for the holidays. Once you pick your design from their drop dead gorgeous collection and add your personal details, you can easily upload your address list from your email provider and send it. There is a fee to send your digital cards using Paperless Post, most costing under a $1 each to send.

More on Christmas cards

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12 Ways to recycle Christmas cards
Etsy roundup: Christmas cards

Traci Hedenberg-Schnepp and her husband John are the parents of five — and not just any five, but two sets of twin girls and one strapping young lad. Her tale of baby, babies and babies may inspire you, and her advice for moms who are stressing is spot on.

Traci’s early years

SheKnows: Traci, tell us about your childhood. Where were you born, and where did you grow up?

Traci Hedenberg-Schnepp: I was born in South New Jersey, in a little town called Sewell — or some people called it Washington Township.

SK: How many siblings did you have? Did you have a big family, or a big extended family?

TH: Growing up, I was one of four girls. I have one older sister and two younger sisters. We didn't have much of an extended family. It was pretty much just my mom, dad, sisters and my grandmom and grandfather on my mom's side. I also now have a 15-year-old little brother from my dad's second marriage.

SK: Did you want lots of children when you were growing up?

TH: I always wanted to have kids one day, I just didn't know when. I remember in high school having a book with all of my future kid's names in it. It was a pretty long list if I remember correctly.

Meeting Daddy

SK: How and when did you meet your husband?

TH: I met John on a blind date March 6, 2004. Our best friends at the time had set us up. His best friend lived across the street from my best friend. They thought because we both had tattoos that we just had to meet because we would be the perfect couple.

SK: Was it love at first sight? Tell us your story.

TH: I don't think I would say it was love at first sight because I was going through so much of my own stuff personally that a relationship was the last thing on my mind. John says it was for him. He said the minute he saw my eyes he was in love with me.

It was funny because we were supposed to meet up like three times before we actually met. Something just always happened to keep us from getting together. It was funny because we both swore that nothing serious was going to come from all of this and we were just going to be friends. We hung out as friends for a couple of months before anything romantic happened. The rest is our love story.

SK: What was your wedding like?

TH: It was really simple. We got married December 18, 2008, after the first set of twins were born. We figured we've been together through so much and had three kids together that it was about time to tie the knot. We just went to the mayor's office and got married. Nice and simple.

We talk about renewing our vows and having a bigger wedding in a few years. We want to do it after we were together 13 years and do a Halloween-themed wedding. Thirteen is our lucky number and we both love Halloween. It would be awesome, but right now we have other more important priorities to worry about.

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Starting a family

SK: Before you had kids, did you discuss your future family size?

TH: Honestly, no. I knew I eventually wanted to have kids and John didn't think he wanted to have kids at all. That's about as far as the conversation had gone. Every once in a while we would joke around about it but it was never a serious discussion.

SK: Tell us a little about Aiden — your pregnancy, delivery and his babyhood.

TH: When I had Aiden, it changed my life forever. When I found out I was pregnant I remember crying for days. I had no idea how I was going to tell people I was pregnant and was worried about what they would say. My pregnancy was hard with him because I was so sick in the beginning and we were hiding the pregnancy so it was rough. I swore he was a girl my whole pregnancy and then a couple of days before our gender ultrasound I had a dream that he was a boy. I remember being so upset about it. I was one of four girls and had no idea how I would be able to take care of a boy.

We went for the ultrasound and sure enough, it was a boy. I started feeling sick and breathing heavier. John actually made them stop the ultrasound so I could sit up and get a drink because he said I looked like I was going to pass out. I cried for a few more days about it and then got over it. I decided that I would figure it out and we would be fine. In the grand scheme of things he was a healthy baby; it's all that matters.

I was due August 4, 2006. I was going to labor at home as long as possible or at least that was my plan. John told me to lie down and he would put the stuff in my bag if I told him when I needed to go. I went to lie down in bed and my water broke. It was all over after that. We were home for a little bit and then went to the hospital. I was in hard labor for 13 hours before Aiden was born.

I had a postpartum hemorrhage and it got crazy. They couldn't get me to stop bleeding and started jabbing me with needles and stuff to get the bleeding to stop. Everyone in the room was yelling and running around. Luckily, it eventually stopped and they finally handed me my beautiful baby boy and it was love at first sight.

Aiden is my sweet little baby boy and always will be no matter how grown up he gets. He was our first so he got babied a lot and we were very overprotective of him. He's so smart and loves to read. He has the kindest heart even though sometimes he doesn't act like it. He's just an amazing little boy.

Twins

SK: How long did you wait before you decided to try for another baby?

TH: I actually got pregnant the second time while I was still breastfeeding Aiden. So once again, totally unplanned. John always laughs and jokes around with people when they ask about all of the kids and says he never once "tried" to get me pregnant. It just happens. True story.

SK: How shocked were you when you found out they were twins?

TH: Shocked is an understatement. Aiden was a couple months over a year old when we found out I was pregnant. We didn't find out I was having twins until I was about 14 weeks pregnant. That was the first ultrasound they had sent me to. I remember laying there thinking all sorts of crazy OMG, how are we going to do this and make it work. Aiden would only be a couple months over 2 when the babies would be born. I'm not going to be able to give him the attention he needs and deserves.

SK: Now for a question I’m sure you get a lot — do twins run in the family?

TH: Twins run on John's side of the family and it is his generation's turn to have them but that I know of not on mine, other than my older sister that also has a set of fraternal twin boys but that's it.

SK: Share a little about Violet and Raelene — your pregnancy, delivery and their babyhood. How did it differ from your pregnancy with Aiden?

TH: My pregnancy with Raelene and Violet was good. I had very little sickness, just tired all of the time and felt huge, of course. I remember finding out it was two girls and I totally didn't believe them. Every time they sent me for another ultrasound I asked them to check again. I went to the doctor for my checkup at 38 weeks and I remember the doctor walking in the room and asking me if I was ready to have these babies tomorrow. I looked at her like she was nuts!

We talked for a while about it and I was already dilating and the babies were both head down and in position. Everyone felt the babies were running out of room really fast so they thought it would be better to induce me. John and I went home and talked about it, researched it and I talked to other moms that I knew had twins. We decided to go for the induction. I went in first thing in the morning and I delivered two beautiful healthy baby girls via vaginal delivery by 2 p.m. We now added four more little feet to our family.

The first few months were really hard on us. We were so worried about Aiden adjusting and honestly I think he adjusted better than we did. There were a lot of sleepless nights and an adjustment period.

I'm not going to lie or sugarcoat it; it was hard. We did what we had to, to make it work though. I'd say the first six months were the hardest. I'm not going to say it got easier after that, it just got different if that makes any sense at all.

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Twins… again

SK: When did you find out you were expecting Scarlett and Veronica?

TH: We found out I was pregnant again on February 27, 2011. We went for our first ultrasound on April 14 and they told us it was twins again!

SK: What was your reaction? John’s? Your family’s?

TH: I remember it like it was yesterday. The ultrasound tech wouldn't let John in the room at first, she made him sit in the waiting room, which I thought was weird. She asked me all of the normal routine health questions and then went to work. As soon as the placed the wand on my belly she grabbed the monitor and turned it away from me so that I couldn't see it. I wanted to cry right there thinking something was wrong.

It took her forever to do her thing — or at least it seemed like forever to me. Finally she turned to me and said, "Are you ready? Well, here is Baby A and here is Baby B. You're having twins again!" I just started crying and felt like I was either going to vomit or pass out. She asked who was going to break the news to John. I told her to do it and to have some smelling salts ready because he would probably be needing them.

She went and got John from the waiting room and brought him back. He was pale — I think he thought something was wrong too because it took so long. The ultrasound tech turned the monitor to John and said the same thing to him. He got wide-eyed and looked at me and my eyes got teary-eyed again. He bent down and gave me a kiss on the cheek and said, "Don't worry about it. It will all be OK." He took it better than I did!

As far as our families, we didn't tell anyone about it right away. I had a family party for John for his birthday. I baked his cake and put a copy of the first ultrasound picture on it and it read, "We're pregnant with twins! Happy Birthday John!" It took everyone a while to figure out what it said and what was going on. We got a lot of the, "OMG, what are you going to do?" John's response was, "We have one up for adoption and we're selling the other." We also got the "better you than me." Oh, and the best one was "If you're happy, then I’m happy for you.” There were also quite a few conversations and lectures on how hard it was going to be. As if we didn't already know that one.

SK: And what was that pregnancy like? Delivery? Babyhood?

TH: My pregnancy this time was horrible! I had the worst case of bronchitis that lasted pretty much my whole first trimester. The doctor wouldn't really give me anything for it. I would have these horrible coughing fits that would be so bad it would make me vomit. I also had horrible morning sickness well into my second trimester.

I went to 38-1/2 weeks and the doctors wanted to induce me again. We agreed to it — I was huge and I'm sure there wasn't much room in there. I went in first thing in the morning on October 14, 2011, got induced and everything was going really well. The doctor kept coming in to check on me and she said I was having too much fun. There was no way I was in labor. As the day went on I started progressing quickly. I remember at one point she came in and checked me and I was 5 centimeters dilated. So we were just hanging out again talking and laughing.

At this point people kept texting me and sending me messages on Facebook asking me what was going on and if the girls were here yet. So I picked up my phone and wrote on my Facebook page, "No babies yet. The doctor checked me about a half hour ago and I was 5 centimeters. So we're still waiting. I say about 5:30 but we'll see… " That was at 4:26 p.m. Right as I hit the send button the doctor walked into the room and said she was going to check me. I handed John my phone and she did her thing and said, “OK, we’re ready to have us some babies!"

She started calling for the nurses and everyone to come in and was just saying let's go guys, we’re ready in here. We have a head. I was just like, "huh… what… what do you mean… now… I‘m 10 centimeters?" John updated my Facebook page again and said, "Never mind! It's show time!" At 4:31 p.m. they got me all set up and ready to go. My first contraction came and they told me to breathe in and push so I did. She just popped out and was screaming and wailing with a nice healthy set of lungs. I thought to myself, "Wow this is going to be a piece of cake! I got this!"

My doctor right away grabbed Baby B from the outside and started guiding her down. She kept asking the resident if she felt the head and her response was no. So my doctor would check again with the wand and say, "Are you sure, you should be feeling something by now." This went on for about 10 minutes and then finally the resident was like, "I think I feel something here, but it’s still pretty far up." My doctor continued to try to guide her down.

She just got this look on her face and right away and I knew this was not going to go the way I wanted it to. She got a weird look on her face, nodded her head and said, "I’m so sorry kiddo, we’re going to have to do a C-section." I just started crying my eyes out as she was yelling at everyone to get moving and get the OR set up and stuff.

Everything from that point on was kind of a blur. After Scarlett came down Veronica had grabbed a hold of her cord and pulled it up over her head. Her cord was coming down before she was and my doctor tried to move it around so Baby was first but Ronnie just wasn't having it. I ended up having Veronica via C-section. I felt horribly defeated and had terrible guilt that I couldn't deliver her the good old-fashioned way.

Aiden, Raelene and Violet loved having little sisters. We would try to include them with the helping and taking care of the new babies as much as possible. It makes them feel special and most of all, included. Even if it was something as silly as, "Could you please hand me two diapers?" or "Can you be a big girl/boy and put this blanket over the baby?" I don't think I slept much the first four or five months. If I wasn't up with one of the babies, I was up with Raelene or Violet. It was really hard to try to juggle all five kids.

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Family of seven

SK: Was it totally overwhelming to have five kids under age 6, or was it just more of the same?

TH: I'd have to say it was a little of each. John refers to it as "controlled chaos." There were days where I would just feel totally stressed and out-numbered. Some days were and still are a lot easier than others.

SK: How much help did you accept from friends and family?

TH: Our mothers helped us with different things as far as helping with the kids and doing stuff around the house. Our one good friend helped us out by cooking us dinner a few times right after I came home from the hospital. That was a huge help! Other than that it was pretty much just me and John doing the best we could to make it work.

SK: What adjustments have you had to make since your family grew, and grew?

TH: I eventually had to stop working. I worked full time after having Aiden. After I had Raelene and Violet, I went to part time for a while, but it was just easier for me to just become a stay-at-home mom. Once Scarlett and Veronica got here, I looked into getting some type of job to help out financially, even if it was working overnight shifts, but haven't found anything yet.

SK: How do you make your life with five small kids look so effortless and beautiful?

TH: I always joke around with John and say I reek of pure awesomeness! Honestly, I don't know how I do it. I just take it one day at a time and do the best I can. I always wonder if it is enough. Our house seems like it is in a constant state of chaos and craziness. I act ridiculously silly a lot of the time. I dance around the house singing with the kids. I usually do this to keep myself awake. I'm exhausted because my mornings start early, usually between 6 and 7 a.m. I'm always up late because it seems like that is when I can get things done because everyone else is sleeping so I don't get interrupted. At the end of the day, when my head finally hits the pillow, I am thankful that I made it through another day.

SK: How do you keep the romance alive with your husband?

TH: At this point I don't know how "romantic" our lives are but John is honestly and truly my best friend. We don't go out much at all, and when we do, the kids are usually in tow. We can talk about anything and everything to each other. There are no secrets and we communicate constantly. We make each other laugh every day and we always kiss each other goodnight. It's the little things that count.

SK: How do you stay sane?

TH: I'm not sure if I would consider myself sane. Sometimes I feel like I'm completely off my rocker. Really, I just try to roll with the punches and take everything in stride.

SK: What advice can you give moms who are stressed out and overwhelmed?

TH: You just do the best that you can do every day and love the little ones up. You do the most important things first and everything else will get done when it gets done. It's all you can do. You will get the swing of it all. You figure out what works for you and your family and then you make it your routine.

If friends or family offer to help, take them up on it. Make them commit to it. Finally, when you are feeling completely overwhelmed and stressed out, take a step back and just breathe. Look into your child's eyes or look at their smile and nothing else will matter. I don't want to say it gets easier... it just gets different.

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On being a mom in Haiti

Here's what you may know about Haiti — there are thousands of children in orphanages. Here's what you may not realize — these children are not actually orphans, but children whose parents cannot afford to take care of them, due to the lack of jobs available in Haiti and the severe uphill battle against poverty that they are battling.

According to a recent New York Times article, "Of the roughly 30,000 children in Haitian institutions... the Haitian government estimates that 80 percent have at least one living parent." The article further explains that Haitian parents believe that their children are better off in orphanages, where they are able to go to school and be fed — private school fees in Haiti can run approximately $200 a year according to the article — a fortune to a Haitian family.

Haiti Babi CEO and co-founder, Katlin Jackson shares, about her own experience visiting Haiti, which resulted in the launch of the charity: "We spent a week volunteering at an orphanage. While I was there, I fell in love with an orphan named Sterly. The only reason Sterly was living in the orphanage was that his family couldn't afford him."

On bringing "moms helping moms" to life

Together, Katlin, along with co-founder and creative director, Kari Davidson , and their small, dedicated team of employees and board members, Haiti Babi puts a simple, yet effective method into practice — moms helping moms. With the goal of creating jobs for Haitian moms that will allow them to keep their children out of orphanages by making a living that will support their family financially, Haiti Babi was born.

By teaching Haitian moms how to knit and crochet, creating gorgeous, handmade products, such as The Signature Blanket, Haiti Babi puts the age-old "teach a man to fish" philosophy into action, and in the best way. These products are then sold to more fortunate moms around the world, who can purchase them to help support the Haiti Babi moms directly.

Currently, Haiti Babi is sprinting through the motions of being a start-up and quickly into a full-blown charitable organization — they've recently raised over $15,000 for the Haiti Babi indiegogo campaign, more than double their fundraising goal and teaming up with Second Mile Ministries, who help manage the on-the-ground operations in Haiti. This is one charity that is making a place for itself in the world, while simultaneously making a difference for more and more moms and families as it grows.

On being a mom with a cause

Cortney Anderson-Sanford came on board with Haiti Babi as the expert mom — lending her experience as a mom of two school-aged boys to help build Haiti Babi as a charity that other mothers would respond to. For Cortney, being a "mom with a cause" goes beyond helping moms on the other side of the world; it also makes an impact in her own home, as a way to teach her children about giving back and how the lives of people around the world are different from theirs.

"We have board meetings at our house and discussions about what I'm doing with Haiti Babi, and [discussions about] why it's a big deal happen often with my kids," Cortney shares. "Kids have no idea that the world they live in, as Americans, is so much different that the world that other children are experiencing. It's a life lesson for them and being involved, as a family, in a charity that benefits less-fortunate children makes an impact."

Taking the significance of being a mom with a cause one step further, Cortney feels that it is valuable for her sons to see that she has a life outside of her role as their mom. Despite them being her priority, Cortney shows them, through her work with Haiti Babi, that she is doing her part to make a difference in the world.

On how you can support Haiti Babi moms

Visit the Haiti Babi website to read more about what they're doing to help support moms and families in Haiti. You can pre-order your own Haiti Babi Signature Blanket, which will be available in early 2013. Other products, including knit hats, crocheted coffee cozies and more, all benefiting the Haiti Babi moms, will also be available for online purchase in the near future. Follow the Haiti Babi Facebook page for the latest information.

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Admit it — you've asked your child's doctor a question you knew was crazy, but you just had to ask anyway. Well, you're not alone. You won't believe some of the ridiculous things parents have asked the doctor.

What your pediatrician really thinks

When Parents Worry is a hilarious collection of the most unbelievable inquiries pediatrician Dr. Henry Anderson has received over the years from freaked-out moms and dads.

To call or not to call?

Have you ever wanted to call your pediatrician about something you thought might be wrong with your child, but hesitated because you wondered if your concerns were too silly? In his book, When Parents Worry: The Real Calls Doctors Receive... from Moles That Seem to Move to Funny-Smelling Poos, Dr. Henry Anderson shares the wackiest messages from parents he's ever received.

And while he says you should always contact your doctor with any and all concerns you're having about your child, he admits that sometimes "any" and "all" includes some pretty funny stuff. "We make ourselves very available by phone so that you can ask us everything, big or small. Your pediatrician is your partner in raising your children, and we want to be there to help, even if your question is boxers versus briefs ."

So has Dr. Anderson ever laughed when asked a question that he felt was ridiculous? "No. They should feel comfortable asking any question. You can only laugh if they're laughing as well. But you can laugh at almost anything a child tells you, because the parents will laugh too, and because children don't take themselves so seriously," says Anderson.

The new wave of care for children: Pediatricians who tweet, blog or email>>

About When Parents Worry

When Parents Worry is filled with frantic messages from Mom and Dad that Dr. Anderson has been asked through the years. He picks his top three.

"A mom once came in with twins and stated one of them swallowed a coin, but she wasn't sure which one it was. We ended up X-raying both, and neither had swallowed one."

"One particularly wacky one was when a mom brought in her poodle and wanted us to examine her. We explained we were pediatricians, but she wouldn't take no for an answer. I wanted to tell her that the dog had a barking cough , but I don't think she would have found that funny."

"I will never forget the mom who wanted to email me a picture of her daughter's diarrhea so that I could tell her what was wrong," he says.

"It's hard to choose just three," adds Anderson.

If you're a worrier

So what should you do if you find yourself wanting to pick up the phone and call your child's pediatrician about every little thing? Dr. Anderson suggests, "First, take it slow. Children are very resilient, and your son or daughter is going to survive your being their parent.

"Second, if talking to your pediatrician about an issue will help you calm down, then please ask. Anything we can do to reassure you or to explain issues, we'll do. Third, it always pays to have a sense of humor. So when your child eats cheese from the mousetrap that you think the mouse has eaten from too, smile. It’s all going to work out."

5 Reasons to call the pediatrician>>

Image credit: When Parents Worry – F+W Media, On Sale Now

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With so many teens owning smartphones, their online access is virtually 24/7 — and parents cannot possibly see or track their activities. A recent study suggested that teens that have smartphones are more likely to be engaged in risky sexual behaviors.

Smartphones may lead to easy hookups

Having a smartphone gives them easier ways to hook up with others for sex, but what can parents do?

Your teen is hooked up with a smartphone, but that may not be all he’s hooking up with. If he has the ability to connect with others online instantly through a smartphone, you have virtually no control over who he is friendly with.

Study results

Eric Rice is an assistant professor at the University of Southern California’s School of Social Work, and is an expert in high-risk adolescent behavior and social network theory. Rice surveyed about 1,800 high school students in the Los Angeles Unified School District during the 2010 to 2011 school year. He found that teens with access to the internet on their phones were not only more likely to be sexually active, but twice as likely to engage in sex with a person they met online. A total of 47 percent of teens who owned a smartphone said they were sexually active, compared to only 35 percent of those without smartphones.

Risky business

Teens continue to engage in risky sexual behaviors more than parents would care to know. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention statistics, 47 percent of U.S. high school students have had sexual intercourse, and a whopping 40 percent did not use a condom the last time they had sex. Almost one-third of high school students had engaged in sex during the previous three months and 15 percent had had sex with four or more people in their lifetime. Teens are putting themselves at risk for HIV infection and other sexually transmitted diseases, as well as increasing the possibility of an unintended pregnancy.

So why blame smartphones, when obviously teens are already engaging in risky behaviors? Rice points out that having a smartphone itself doesn’t lead to risky sexual behaviors, but it does make arranging sexual encounters easier. "It's a tool through which this sort of behavior can happen," says Rice. Parents who have spent a great deal of effort to secure their children’s online activities through the computer do not have the same ability when it comes to their teen’s smartphone. Rice adds, "I don’t know that we've thought through quite as clearly what it means for teens to have the internet on their phones 24 hours a day.”

What to do now

Talking to teens about sex isn’t just a one-shot deal. Parents need to continue a dialogue with their teens about all sorts of issues related to sexual behavior and health. Teens who understand the consequences of risky sexual behaviors are less likely to engage in them — smartphone or not. While it may be difficult to police the smartphone activity of your child, you can influence their thought process and ability to make good decisions. The CDC suggests that helping young people develop lifelong attitudes and behaviors that support their overall health and well-being is the best way to reduce sexual risk behaviors.

Don’t panic over your teen’s smartphone just yet. Keep those lines of communication open and keep talking about sexual health and behavior throughout their teen years. You just never know when they might be listening.

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Spending quality time with your kids is one of the joys of parenting but when you’re with your kids all the time, it may be tough to feel the joy.

Every mom needs a break

Finding a balance between spending time with your kids and having time for yourself is one of motherhood’s greatest challenges, but finding that balance may help you avoid mommy burnout.

Mothers typically want to give 110 percent to their children but that often leaves them feeling a bit dazed, drained and sometimes discouraged. Balance is the key to sane motherhood and finding it may not be that difficult.

Overdoing it

Family togetherness can be a beautiful thing. It can also be overwhelming. Just as open communication and shared interests are important to a healthy homefront, so is some breathing room. "The most responsible parents — who take their parenting responsibilities very seriously — are most susceptible to overdoing the togetherness," says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage. "Also, first-time parents and parents of only children are more likely to make this mistake."

Read about 5-minute mommy time-outs>>

"Red Flag Alert"

When you find yourself completely consumed by your children, caring for yourself is probably the last thing on your mind. Ironically, this situation leaves you unable to be your best version of super mom. "A simple acronym I use to help moms recognize when they are spending too much time with their kids and not enough time on self-care is to notice their R.F.A. — the 'Red Flag Alert'," says April O'Leary, life coach and founder of The University of Moms. "Moms often put their needs so far behind everyone else's and sacrifice themselves to such a degree that they become frustrated, resentful, angry or depressed and then add guilt on top of it because they feel 'bad' for feeling this way."

Find out 6 ways moms can take care of themselves today>>

"Service or Sacrifice"

It’s easy to fall into a hardcore routine as a mom. Unfortunately, the comfort of that routine sometimes leaves moms oblivious to their own mental health. "If you regularly notice you are experiencing an R.F.A. then it's time for an S.O.S. assessment," says O’Leary. "Ask yourself if you are giving ‘Service or Sacrifice’ to your children. It's OK to be of service to our children but when that service turns into sacrifice of our own needs and desires and our self-care is non-existent, problems regularly follow." This recognition is all for naught unless a mom moves forward without guilt in an effort to move herself up the priority list.

Read about mommy guilt: "You" time versus "kid' time>>

Get it done

Dr. Tessina offers the following tips to help moms juggle their responsibilities and find balance between time with the kids and self-care:

• Allow children over 7 to spend occasional nights at extended family or friends' homes, and then reciprocating. Friends and family can watch smaller children for an evening or an afternoon.
• "Family networks" in which several families share time, driving, trade of babysitting, etc. can really expand the amount of time off that each family enjoys.
• It's important to have 'adult time' as well as 'alone time' to maintain a healthy sense of self.
• Take charge of personal and family time. Families need to sit down together and decide which activities are really worth doing, and which are just part of the "rat race."
• Network with other young families in your neighborhood or those you meet via childbirth classes, parenting classes and baby/parent classes.

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Making it all work

Erika is a do-it-all mother — she is currently working toward her Ph.D. while expecting a baby, parenting her 9-year-old son and planning a wedding.

Her academic accomplishments are impressive, especially considering she was a young, single mom when her son was born. Her ability to balance her professional life with pregnancy, raising a child and building a relationship is inspiring.

As a young mom, Erika Fuchs has gone through school while parenting her son, and she’s now expecting her second child while working toward a doctorate — oh, and she’s also planning a wedding! Her experiences as a young, single mom have helped shape her life and her goals as she works hard to balance work, studying and parenting, while nurturing her relationship and planning for the future.

Erika growing up

SheKnows: Erika, tell us a bit about your background. Where were you born, and where did you grow up?

Erika Fuchs: I was born in North Dakota and grew up in a small town in western Minnesota. I still live in Minnesota, but small town life was really never for me.

SK: Did you enjoy going to school when you were young?

EF: Absolutely! I learned how to read at a very young age and was highly encouraged, though never pushed, by my family to excel in school. Often a "teacher's pet" kind of student as a child, I also was in the gifted/talented program and several other academic groups . I was also involved in other activities like band and sports, and I was in several plays as a kid.

SK: What did you want to be when you grew up?

EF: As a very young child, I dreamed of becoming a family physician or an OB-GYN. Of course, childhood dreams can shift as you grow older and know yourself better, and I eventually went in another direction, though it's not too far from those dreams.

Becoming a mom

SK: How old were you when you found out you were expecting a baby?

EF: When I found out I was pregnant with my first, I was 19 years old and about to start my sophomore year of college. I am now 29 and pregnant with my second, in my third year of a Ph.D. program.

SK: What sort of plans did you have for yourself before he was born that you wound up changing, if at all?

EF: As I mentioned, I dreamed of becoming a physician, but knew that it would be very difficult, though not impossible, to properly care for a child as a single mother through medical school without a local support system. Who would watch the baby when I had to work nights or weekends? My plans started to shift, but it wasn't just because I didn't have reliable evening and weekend daycare. My ideas about health and the type of contributions I could and wanted to make to health and science were also changing.

Going to school

SK: When did you start college?

EF: Like many young people, I jumped at the chance to start college as soon as I graduated high school in 2001. I chose a school across the state from most of my family, though still close enough to drive to my hometown once in awhile.

SK: What were your goals in the beginning?

EF: I went in knowing that I wanted to complete a B.S. in biology, which would help me acquire the coursework necessary for applying to medical school. If I did things over again, I might choose another major or take classes in some other areas, but overall I think things worked out well and gave me the foundation to explore the topics I would eventually study further.

SK: Where did Tavin go while you were in class?

EF: Tavin, who is now 9-1/2 years old, was born during the spring semester of my sophomore year of college. I returned to school that fall after taking that spring semester off , and he came with me to two of my classes, approximately one to two hours each day. I was also taking two online classes, which helped give me some flexibility.

At the time, having a baby carrier saved me. He slept most of the time, but I would bring some toys that he could play with as he started to become more mobile by the end of that fall semester. Obviously, the professors from those two classes were supportive of the idea prior to me coming to their first classes. I also had a good friend who would watch him for me from time to time. The following fall, he started daycare at about 16 months of age, and continued there until he was old enough for kindergarten.

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SK: How did he handle daycare and/or preschool?

EF: We live in a moderately-sized metropolitan area, so a daycare center was the right choice for us. He loved it and had so many wonderful experiences there.

SK: What benefits did he gain from his early childhood experiences?

EF: I think that when you are a single parent who has the child 24/7 and are doing basically everything on your own while still so young yourself, it is helpful to have a safe and encouraging environment for your child to go during the day. Since I was still taking classes and didn't have them all day long, I could use the time before picking him up or in between classes to study or do homework, so that I could focus on him as much as possible once we came home at night.

He learned how to trust other care providers, make new friends, and adjust to a variety of different circumstances. The daycare center he went to was multicultural as is the city in which we live, so he learned a lot about being around different types of people and their cultures. They also provided field trips on a regular basis, even for the toddlers, and I often was able to attend those trips due to a flexible student schedule. Even now, in fourth grade, he attends school with some of the children he knew as a toddler!

SK: How did you handle studying while you had a little one at home?

EF: As I had mentioned, I tried to do as much as I could while he was in daycare, but there were many times I had to try to study while parenting, and multitasking in that way does not work very well! Most nights, though, I would put my all into parenting and then study when he went to bed, staying up until the wee hours of the morning when I had to.

I should also say that studying with an infant around is infinitely easier than studying with a toddler around, and things get easier again when a child reaches age 3 or so. By the time I started my master's program, Tavin was 4, and studying was a breeze. I always made sure to focus on him for a while as soon as I got home and through dinnertime. He would easily play by himself and give me some time to study after that, though it truly wasn't very necessary during my master's since my coursework was different and didn't require the type of memorization required for my bachelor's degree.

SK: When did you graduate and what are your degrees in?

EF: I finished my Bachelor of Science in biology in 2006 and a Master of Public Health in maternal and child health in 2009.

Doctor Mom

SK: When did you decide to pursue your Ph.D.?

EF: Before starting my master's degree, I decided that the Ph.D. track would be more fitting for me than the M.D. track. While pursuing my master's degree, I did some work in public health and realized the programmatic side of public health definitely wasn't for me. I knew that I was interested in doing research, but didn't have a clear idea about what kind of research I wanted to do. I was mostly battling with whether I wanted to go the clinical/biological route or the social/behavioral route within maternal and child health research.

I took a year off after my master's degree to solidify those ideas , applied to the Ph.D. program during that year off, and was accepted.

SK: Can you briefly explain what you have to do to get your doctorate?

EF: The program I'm attending requires a master's degree in a related field in order to be accepted. Most people take about four years to finish, and in that time complete two years of coursework, pass a variety of preliminary exams, and write and defend a dissertation. There are, of course, other requirements and experiences along the way, but there is a support system here in order to make sure everything happens. Now that I'm in my third year, I am done with coursework and my first preliminary exam, so I have checked a few boxes on the list at this point! My dissertation has been in the works for over a year.

SK: You are also working, correct? Can you explain your job for us?

EF: Yes, I have held both research assistantships and teaching assistantships throughout these first three years of the Ph.D. These assistantships cover my tuition and health benefits as well as pay a salary, which is typical of graduate assistantships. I am just now finishing up with two teaching assistantships, from which I've gotten experience lecturing, grading, assisting students one-on-one, and so on. I will be starting a new research assistantship in January where I will help with the design, implementation, and analysis of a large clinic- and hospital-based study.

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Tying it all together

SK: Tavin is thriving, your education is becoming more complete, you’re expecting a baby and planning a wedding. How do you do it all, and do it all well?

EF: I don't know that any mom thinks they "do it all" unless she is defining what "it all" means to her and only her. If we were talking about someone else's vision for their family, maybe mine wouldn't measure up, but, to me, I am doing it all every day. My goal is to simply raise a happy and healthy family, including nurturing my son's interests and talents and fulfilling my own ambitions in life.

I have been engaged for almost a year, and my fiance, Brady, has been a tremendous addition to our little family. Not only does he encourage me to complete my own goals, but he is the most wonderfully helpful partner in life and parenting I could ever imagine having. Doing "it all" is certainly easier when you have someone like that in your life.

SK: What do you do for fun?

EF: As I mentioned, we live in a city, and there are so many fun things for families to do here, especially since we experience all the seasons to their fullest. We love seeking out family-friendly events on weekends .

When Brady and I get some time for adult-only activities, we like to seek out new, sometimes fancy, restaurants or bars, although now that I'm six months pregnant we are more likely to be cuddling on the couch and falling asleep early! Of course we like to spend time with our extended families and friends as well.

SK: What advice do you have for moms who struggle? How can they be more motivated and prioritize their time better?

EF: I think that depends on the realm in which someone is struggling. If it's financial, choose an attainable goal that will get you into a more comfortable position in the future. If it's a time issue, find out what time of the day your work or studying is most productive . For me, that was often in the morning.

Find out what your priorities are and be resourceful in order to attain them. Motivation is essentially internal and something that can be tough to muster up as a single or young parent when you have more pressing concerns, though it never hurts to surround yourself with people who energize and motivate you. I find, even now, that being around other Ph.D. students gets me excited about my project when I have been in a lull. Parenting during school can be tough and exhausting, but the personal fulfillment is great and a happy and fulfilled parent is bound to be a better one.

More on parenting and work

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by Jennifer Hartzog
as told to Julie Weingarden Dubin

When I was 12, I lost my kidney function due to hydronephrosis . Both of my natural kidneys were removed. I was on peritoneal dialysis until I got a living donor transplant from my mother three days before my 13th birthday. Two years later, the kidney failed. I was put back on peritoneal dialysis until I got a non-living donor transplant when I was 17.

Finding love

In January 2004, I met and fell in love with Kevin, my future husband. I was 22 and I had my third kidney transplant on February 12, 2004. We spent our first Valentine's Day in the hospital while I was recovering.

We got married in September 2006 and talked a lot about having kids. As a teenager, my doctors told me that I’d probably have difficulty having children and that it wasn’t a good idea. When I told Kevin that, he didn’t believe me, and he started doing his own research and found that it was possible for me to have children; it would just be a high-risk pregnancy.

A failed transplant

Three months after our wedding day, my transplant failed. I was devastated. I started on traditional in-center hemodialysis until my transplant doctor suggested a new treatment option — home-hemodialysis. I soon started using the NxStage System One hemodialysis for the home.

While I was frustrated and angry that yet another transplant had failed, I was excited that I had the option to take over my own care and be on my own schedule for dialysis treatments. It also meant I could continue to work, which was a relief. I knew I’d be OK since I had done practically every other treatment option out there and now I could have treatments in the convenience of my home.

But something wasn’t right. I started throwing up during and right after my treatments. At first my nurses and I thought it might just be my body adjusting to the different treatment schedule. But when it didn’t get better, they started asking if I could be pregnant. I was sure I wasn’t. The nurse at my OB-GYN’s office did an ultrasound. She put the picture up on the screen and the first thing that showed up was my 10-week-old little baby. I couldn’t say anything for a whole minute! I had to show the ultrasound pictures to Kevin before he would believe me. I found out at some point that women on dialysis have about a 2 percent chance of getting pregnant.

Doctors typically do not recommend having a baby while on dialysis due to the high risks involved for most patients. Every doctor I came into contact with for a month after finding out I was pregnant asked me if I was sure I wanted to continue the pregnancy. I had to tell them that this child had made it to 10 weeks without me doing anything special so of course I was going to keep her, and I wasn’t going to change my mind.

My miracle baby

My pregnancy was almost completely normal but the doctors kept a close watch on me. I had check-ups bimonthly and then weekly in my last trimester. I increased my NxStage dialysis treatments from six days of 2.5-hour treatments to seven days of 4-hour treatments.

My daughter, Kaylynn, is a miracle. There were so many things that could have gone wrong and didn’t. If I have a bad day, all she has to do is grin at me and my mood changes. I love everything about being a mom, even when I hear “Mommy!” 5,000 times in 15 minutes!

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Happy Kwanzaa

What is Kwanzaa? Is it an alternative to Christmas? An ancient African harvest celebration?

Although Kwanzaa is a young holiday tradition, it has become a very meaningful celebration of African-American heritage and culture. Learn more about the history of Kwanzaa and how to celebrate this holiday with family and friends.

History of Kwanzaa

Created by Dr. Maulana Karenga in 1966, Kwanzaa has its origins in the first harvest celebrations of ancient Africa. In the midst of the Black Freedom Movement, Kwanzaa was established to strengthen the African-American community and reaffirm a sense of pride and rootedness in African culture. The modern celebration of Kwanzaa lasts seven days, from December 26 to January 1. Each of the seven days is dedicated to one of the seven principles of Kwanzaa.

Family values

Kwanzaa revolves around the Nguzu Saba, which means Seven Principles in Swahili. Unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity and faith are the building blocks of every society. The purpose of Kwanzaa is to instill these values in all of humanity and to build a community spirit.

How to celebrate Kwanzaa

During Kwanzaa, families get together, share the feast of Karamu, exchange gifts and participate in a variety of sacred traditions. In the center of the home, each family will arrange a Kwanzaa centerpiece that is not only beautiful, but uses various symbols that convey the principles of Kwanzaa. The table is spread with a colorful African cloth upon which is placed the Mkeka mat, the Kinara candle holder, ears of corn, a bowl of fruit, the unity cup and other symbols of African heritage. Lighting the Kinara holds special significance, as each candle represents one of the core values of Kwanzaa. Other activities include singing, dancing, meditation and making homemade gifts. Many cities now sponsor family-friendly Kwanzaa festivals, which are a great way to celebrate with the entire family.

The meaning of Kwanzaa

Kwanzaa is not a religious holiday but a cultural celebration. It is not meant to replace Christmas, Hanukkah or any other traditional religious holy day. Kwanzaa celebrates the need to root oneself in positive values, to revere one's own heritage and culture and to remember what it means to be African and human.

Can people of other cultures celebrate Kwanzaa?

Although Kwanzaa is a holiday specially created to uplift people of African heritage, it also contains a broader message of unity of mankind. Just as people of other cultures enjoy celebrating Cinco de Mayo, Chinese New Year, Day of the Dead and the Native American Pow Wow, anyone is welcome to take part in the beauty of Kwanzaa.

Kwanzaa founder Dr. Maulana Karenga says, "The principles of Kwanzaa and the message of Kwanzaa have a universal message for all people of good will. It is rooted in African culture, and we speak as Africans must speak, not just to ourselves, but to the world. This continues our tradition of speaking our own special cultural truth and making our own unique contribution to the forward flow of humanity."

Learn more about Kwanzaa

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Where teens are while you're on Facebook

Social media is here to stay — and the next big thing is always just around the corner.

While Tumblr isn’t new, it isn’t a social media hangout that parents know much about. Why do teens love it, and what’s going on over there?

It’s hard for parents to keep up with trends in social media. By the time we jump on the bandwagon for the latest “cool” thing, the teens have already moved on. They’ve gone from MySpace to Facebook, turned Instagram into their 24/7 hangout and now have set up shop at Tumblr. What is Tumblr all about?

What’s cool?

Like a cross between a blog and Twitter, Tumblr gives users the ability to share videos, music, links, photos, cool quotes and text from virtually anywhere. You can easily post from your phone, through email or from your browser — even phone in an audio post that will be heard within seconds by your followers. Users love the instant connection with their community, the ability to share so many different forms of media and the amazing creativity that Tumblr is known for. This is where creative types go to share, express themselves and find new ideas. There isn’t really another social media platform quite like it. “Follow the world’s creators” is their tagline, and rightfully so.

Feedback rules

Teens are living in a world where everything they do demands a comment — now. Instagram has tapped into it with photograph sharing, but Tumblr takes it one step beyond. Have a blog post or stream of thought you’d like to share? End it with a question mark, and you’re given the option of having people in the Tumblr community answer your question. This gives teens a chance to air their views in a blog post, share something thought-provoking or just ask something silly — and get immediate responses. Followers make you popular on Tumblr, so sharing content, asking questions, re-blogging posts and following new people is the best way to make it work for you.

How to stop online bullies from harassing your child >>

What should parents know?

Tumblr isn’t a hangout for young teens or tweens. Some of the content is racy, and users can easily search content by hash-tagged categories used to tag posts, images and videos. Creators are encouraged to flag adult-oriented content as “not suitable for work” so that others can avoid such content if they choose to. There is nothing to prevent your teen from searching for adult-oriented content, however.

Guidelines for content are clearly spelled out on the Tumblr site. Users are cautioned against promoting any hatred or violence against any groups based on religion, gender, sexual orientation, race, age or for any other reason. Posts promoting self-harm, eating disorders or suicide are prohibited, as well as anything that may cause harm to a minor.

Bottom line

Tumblr may not be for everyone. For an older teen who is creative with writing, photography, art or just interested in connecting with other talented people, Tumblr may be right up his alley. If your teen is involved with Tumblr ask her to show you what she’s interested in and what types of content she shares. Staying informed about your teen’s activities on the internet is important, and by showing an interest in something he’s into and sharing that interest with you, you'll keep the lines of communication open between the two of you.

More teens online

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Create memories this Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve celebrations can be as fun as the big day itself.

Enjoy the lead up to Christmas with special day-before celebrations and traditions.

Pajama party

Kids can never have enough pajamas and Christmas Eve is the perfect excuse to get them a fresh pair. Whether you decide on matchy-matchy ones or your kids' favorite character ones, let them hang out in their new PJs all night long. Mom and Dad — don't forget to get new pajamas for each other too!

Matching Christmas pajamas for the entire family>>

Take in a flick

One of the toughest parts about Christmas Eve is keeping the kids distracted while they wait for family to arrive and presents to be put under the tree. So get them out of the house for a fun movie day. We're guessing there's a holiday flick out there that's perfect for the whole fam. Don't forget the extra-large tub of popcorn!

You can also have a movie marathon at home by renting one of these 10 classic Christmas movies kids love>>

Open one present from under the tree... just one!

Have your children been staring at the presents under the tree for days now? It's going to be even worse on Christmas Eve when the anticipation seems to come to a head! So go ahead and give in — let them open one present on Christmas Eve to hold them over. Just one! Choose gifts for them to open that they can utilize or play with that night like a special Christmas book or board game.

We love these tips for letting kids shop for Christmas presents>>

Spend the day thinking of others

Create the Christmas Eve tradition of giving back by volunteering as a family. There are so many local charities that need help during the holidays, including soup kitchens serving Christmas Eve dinner, homeless shelters that are out in the community handing out comfort packs or sandwiches and so many more options. Do some research beforehand to find a local organization where your entire family can volunteer. It's a good feeling that's sure to stick with you all through the rest of the holiday season.

The season of giving: 6 ways to teach kids to give at Christmas>>

Create a special Christmas Eve menu

For most families, Christmas Eve is focused on getting together with family and spending some quality time together, which means that there is sure to be food involved. This year, incorporate your kids' input into your family's Christmas Eve menu. Start a tradition to bake cookies together or make homemade pizzas as a family. Whatever the new tradition, let your kids help choose the Christmas Eve yummies!

Make Christmas Eve cooking fun with these edible Christmas crafts>>

More about holiday traditions

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You get it, really, you do. You felt the same way about your mom. So why does your tween’s sudden change of attitude hurt so much?

How to deal with your tween's cold shoulder

She no longer wants to be seen with you at the mall. She wants you to keep your distance at school functions. It's so uncool to hang out at home with you when she could be with her friends. You know in your heart that this is part of growing up, but that still doesn't make your tween's behavior any easier to handle.

The "terrible tweens"

It may not have a zippy title like the "terrible twos," but, according to Dr. Fran Walfish, the psychological goal of adolescence parallels that of toddlerhood. "The toddler must claim herself as a separate being from Mommy. She does this by saying no, resisting demands, and having normal temper tantrums. The teen must resolve the separation by once again being moody, disagreeable and even defiant in order to emerge out of adolescence and into adulthood with her own ideas and opinions about religion, relationships, love, politics, morals, ethics and character."

Battle it out?

It's abundantly clear that your tween is doing everything she can to distance herself from you emotionally and physically , but is this struggle for separation causing major problems for her or for you? Is she fighting you on going to an important family event or does she not want to join you on your errands? Has she stopped wanting to listen to your advice about clothes and friends or is she blatantly ignoring your rules?

Laurie A. Gray, JD, warns, "I advise moms to keep the lines of communication open and choose their battles wisely. Avoid being critical of her choices in clothes, music, friends, etc. and focus on being accepting of her as a person. Kids have to test our boundaries and our love. It's part of growing up. As long as your boundaries are healthy and your love is unconditional, you'll both make it through this phase."

Battling a moody tween>>

Find common ground and fight for your time with them

Ever feel like your tween suddenly doesn't think you "get her?" Not only are you uncool, but you have no idea what's important in her life. Sara, mother of one from Glen Falls, New York found a way to bridge the gap with her tween daughter. "My tween either had headphones on and locked her door and certainly did not want to be with me as she preferred her friend time. When friends were around, I did not exist," says Sara.

"Here's what worked for me. Nighttime is a magical time. I made her include me in her Instagram and praised her for her creativity in the use of it; we would talk about what she posted and I started a game called 20 questions. She loves it. I then set up shopping dates with her. These have become very special mommy times. I think it's normal when tweens start to separate; you just have to fight for your time with them."

More ways to connect with your tween

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Like most phases of toddler behavior, this too will pass, but it still stings when your child prefers one parent over the other.

Are you the preferred parent?

It's cute at first when your child gets excited when Daddy comes home, cries when he leaves, and walks around asking for 'Daddy' all day long, but it's hard to not feel a little jealous. Why does Daddy get all the fanfare?

Children naturally gravitate toward one parent over the other from time to time. Each gender brings different skills to the table that meet the child's emotional and developmental needs. That's one of the reasons why children benefit by having and building a relationship with both parents.

While it can be annoying for a parent when your child consistently chooses and wants the other parent, it's also a very normal part of your child's development and nothing to get alarmed about. Most kids will outgrow it over time .

The preferred parent

According to Robert Nickell, aka ”Daddy Nickell,” father of six with one more on the way, and founder of DaddyScrubs.com, some of the best ways to deal with parent preference phases is not to make a big deal out of it and not to change your care taking roles just because your child insists she only wants Mommy or Daddy. There's no need to draw attention to the behavior by reprimanding or having lengthy discussions with your child. Depending on the age, you can simply, clearly and concisely tell your child that, for example, ”Mommy can't read you the book right now, but Daddy would like to do it" or "Right now, Daddy has the best hug for your hurt. Let me know when you want a Mommy hug. I’ll save a special one just for you!”

Make sure that you and your spouse are on the same parenting page as far as discipline so that your child isn't gravitating toward one that is more lenient than the other. Maintaining a good sense of humor and being very matter-of-fact when things are not going the way the child wants is the best way to navigate through this phase.

At the very least, try to enjoy the time your child is choosing your spouse over you because chances are next week, you'll be the preferred parent.

Challenges of stepparenting

As family dynamics researcher and stepdad, S. James Wheeler, founder of StepDadding.com has learned, at least one segment of the parent community can always count on being the unpopular parent. Stepparents usually have a high hill to climb, but it doesn't always turn out badly. Many parents find that being the unpopular parent when children are young often make them more appreciated when the kids are grown. Being consistent and insisting on good behavior can make a parent quite unpopular. As children become young adults they have the perspective to understand and appreciate the parent's motives and efforts.

Always remember, it's not the quantity but the quality of time we spend with our children that make the strongest bonds and every child will always benefit from consistent a loving presence in their life.

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Judd Apatow's latest comedy, This Is 40, hits theaters Dec. 21. The spinoff sequel to the 2007 hit Knocked Up takes a comedic look at family life as a husband and wife approach the milestone meltdown of turning 40.

What does turning 40 mean to you?

It's five years later and Pete and Debbie are married with two growing daughters. The film offers a funny, honest portrayal of the challenges of parenthood. This Is 40 follows the couple's three-week navigation of sex and romance, career triumphs, financial hardships, aging parents and maturing children.

If you are anywhere near this milestone age, you know what this is all about. That 40th birthday looms large and threatens to be the end of your youth. Why not embrace this new age — the good, the bad and the hysterical?

Turning 40 doesn’t have to be the end of youthfulness and fun. While it may feel like you’ve turned into your own parents, there may be a silver lining to this new decade. Slip on your comfy shoes and grab your reading glasses — we found a few couples with a humorous take on turning 40 — I'll go first.

I'm on a boat

My husband and I were both born in the same year, so we sort of turned 40 together — although I always point out that he got there nine months before I did. I can distinctly remember the morning of my 40th birthday — coaching my daughter's soccer game under blue skies with a Starbucks in my hand. Life is good, I thought to myself smugly. I can do this.

Not too long after we had entered our 40s, a college friend of ours and his wife invited us on a houseboating trip on Lake Powell. There would be seven couples in all, all of them about 8 - 10 years younger than we were. I felt smug and confident that we would not only be able to keep up with the youngsters, but maybe even make them think that 40 was, in fact, cool.

After the first day of tropical cocktails, loud music and sleeping on the top deck with 13 other people, I felt like my grandmother. Great grandmother, even. My hips hurt, I needed some antacids, I could no longer understand the lyrics to the loud music and I may have needed a shot of prune juice. The trip was way more fun than anyone should legally have — and I am totally glad we did it. But it was then that I realized that my 40s might be a bit stiffer than my 30s.

Bouncing back — or not

SheKnows columnist Nichole Beaudry remembers some almost-40s fun she had with her husband Craig. “A couple of years ago, Craig and I rented a bounce house for our daughter’s birthday. It was a huge hit with the kids. They jumped and squealed all morning long and they barely made it to nap time."

"As soon as we tucked her in, we ran back outside and climbed into the bounce house. We jumped and jumped and laughed like we were teenagers. It was one of the silliest afternoons we've ever shared and I'll always remember it. Partly because it was so fun."

"But mostly because of the huge price we paid for that afternoon of fun. When we woke up the next morning, we were in a world of pain. Neither of us could walk without wincing. Or lift our arms. Or climb the stairs. We sat on the couch, watching our kids run around and became fully aware that we are no longer in our twenties!"

The whole tooth

Katie Hurley and her husband Sean have certainly noticed some changes as 40 looms in the distance — the most notable involving teeth — teeth that practically require more attention than their children's at this point. Katie has had to have three fillings replaced, and apparently those fillings were so old that they caused new cavities!

She declined further comment.

Hair, there and everywhere

Freelance writer and editor Deb Anderson and her husband Kevin can remember thinking that 40 sure seemed old. "I clearly remember my dad's 40th birthday and all the gag gifts he received — an electric nose picker, a T-shirt that read 'I'm not married and I don't have kids' and a pen#s propper-upper. I recall being surprised that 'old people' had senses of humor."

"Now that I am 40 myself, I thank God us elderly folk know to laugh. Because after discovering gray hairs in places I have to bend down to see, I need to find the humor. Oh my God, I need to find the humor!"

"So it's especially fun for my husband and I when our kids ask us questions like, "Can you tell us about the days of yore?" and "What was music like in the 2000s?" and "How old do you have to be to get underwear that looks like a hammock*?" Because we're keeping the humor alive, and when you're in your 40s and beyond oh my God you need to keep the humor alive."

"Especially when your spouse has gray hairs in places he has to bend over to see."

"I'm just lucky I'm growing old with a guy I can laugh with, even if he does wear hammock underwear."

*My six-year-old was referring to my underwear, but I pretend she was referring to someone else's or an actual hammock.

Image credit: Universal Pictures

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Discover real strategies that help work-at-home moms walk the tightrope between home life and work time. In 2013, increase your productivity and decrease your stress as you hone your stay-at-home career.

Balance your home life and your work at home

Working from home has its benefits, but it’s still work. In order to gain flexibility and freedom, moms who work at home have to sacrifice free time and learn to juggle the responsibilities of parenthood and career-oriented tasks. Use these alpha-mom strategies to streamline your New Year working at home.

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Twenty-six souls — 20 of them forever 6 and 7 years old — lost amidst a haze of gunfire, gunpowder and violence. Within minutes, they were gone. Within hours of hearing that their loved ones had perished, families, still in the throes of denial and anger, began to compose stories of their loved ones. These were based upon the Pulitzer Prize–winning New York Times"Portraits of Grief" section, which was created in response to the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

The profiles were "stories, anecdotes, tiny but telling details that seemed to reveal something true and essential about how each person lived.... The profiles... were closer to snapshots — concise, impressionistic, their power at least as much emotional as intellectual. And, they were utterly democratic." And yet, "each profile is only a snapshot, a single still frame lifted from the unrecountable complexity of a lived life."^*

Like an onion, layer by layer the stories and faces of the Sandy Hook School victims came into focus. And, like an onion, each individual story brought tears to our collective eyes as we learned about each person unfairly robbed of the chance to reach his or her full potential and each family robbed of helping make those dreams a reality. We learned about the child who wanted to be a firefighter... the teacher who hid students in the closet... the boy who idolized the New York Giants... the teacher who idolized the Miami Dolphins... the girl whose mother finally allowed her to wear her favorite dress to school that fateful day... the boy who enjoyed playing baseball with his dad... the extraordinarily smart and cute boy gunned down, while his twin sister survived... the first-grade boy with special needs found cradled in the arms of his special education aide, who also died as she tried to shield him from harm.

Dylan Hockley and Anne Marie Murphy

The. First. Grade. Boy. With. Special. Needs. Found. Cradled. In. The. Arms. Of. His. Special. Education. Aide. Dylan Christopher Jack Hockley, age 6, and his special education aide Anne Marie Murphy, age 52, entered into eternity together. Like Dylan, whose family lives 20 minutes from my own, my son is a first grader with autism spectrum disorder. Like Dylan, my son is in a typical classroom and has a one-on-one aide by his side. And my heart and soul believe that Ethan's educators and paraprofessionals, as did Dylan's, would sacrifice their lives to protect his. There but for the grace of G-d go I...

Just as Anne Marie had loved and protected Dylan during his short life, she loved and protected him during what was, hopefully, a death without suffering.

"We take great comfort in knowing that Dylan was not alone when he died," his parents, Ian and Nicole Hockley, said.

They went on to say that "Dylan loved Mrs. Murphy so much and pointed at her picture on our refrigerator every day.... Though our hearts break for Dylan, they are also filled with love for these and the other beautiful women who all selflessly died trying to save our children.... We cannot speak highly enough of Dawn Hochsprung and Mary Sherlach , exceptional women who knew both our children and who specifically helped us navigate Dylan's special education needs.... Dylan's teacher, Vicki Soto , was warm and funny, and Dylan loved her dearly."

At Dylan's funeral, his mother told a story about asking Dylan why he sometimes flapped his arms, as some children with autism do. Given Dylan's limited language, she expected no answer. But Dylan surprised everyone when he said, "Because I am a beautiful butterfly."

Catching up

Outside, after Dylan's service, the mourners watched as Jake, Dylan's brother, released 26 symbolic balloons — 20 purple for the children, six white for the adults. After a beat, another purple balloon was released, which drifted up to the others, in a proverbial game of catch up. You see, when you have a child with autism, you learn that your child's life will be one long symbolic pursuit of catching up.

A woman of valor

At Anne Marie Murphy’s funeral Mass, led by Cardinal Timothy Dolan, the archbishop of New York said, "Annie's life and death bring light, truth, goodness and love to a world often shrouded in darkness, evil, selfishness and death."

Her Mass began with a reading from the Book of Proverbs : "She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.... Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.... Honor her for all that her hands have done and let her works bring her praise."

Even in death, Anne Marie will protect children with autism; her family requests that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to Autism Speaks.

Divine intervention

While the Hockley, Murphy and 24 other families mourn their loved ones, here I sit in my own home, blessed to faintly hear my son playing the piano in another room. I am moved and awed to hear him play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven," a song he's never played before. Perhaps Divine Intervention, or Anne Marie's and Dylan's spirits, are responsible. There is no logical way to explain how my son, out of the blue, plays a new song whose apropos lyrics talk about "a lady we all know, who shines white light and wants to show, how everything still turns to gold."

Surely, Anne Marie is the lady who shines light and goodness, as she continues to assure Dylan that everything will be all right. Except this time, Dylan no longer needs to be cradled in the safety of Anne Marie's loving arms. Now, Dylan truly is that beautiful butterfly he always wanted to be. And this time, when he flaps his wings, he can ascend the stairway to Heaven all by himself. He is, after all, a butterfly. And butterflies are free.

Postscript

Throughout the year, especially during the holiday season and in the wake of the Newtown tragedy, my husband and I would like to recognize and thank the Anne Marie Murphys in our world, our very own "Women of Valor." Their love and light protects Ethan every way, every day.

School: Alison Mata, Bobbi Burns, Caitlin Massey, Caren Kemp, Catherine Carmona, Cheryl Bliss, Christina Andreassi, Dawn Collins, Dawn Sutfin, Ed Huydic, Elena Wetmore, Jessica Olson, Jennifer Nolan, Jessica Rohr, Kelly Conte, Linda Codeghini, Linda Johnson, Lindsie McLean, Mary Imperioli, Matthew Barrett, Sandra Resnick, Susie DaSilva and Valerie Babich.

Private: Barbara Greenspan, MS, OTR ; Bekah DeMieri, MT-BC ; Emma Caplan ; Janaya Jones Hernandez, BCaBA ; Joan Faulkner, R.P.T. ; Kathleen Stowell, MA, PT, C/NDT ; Michael Weiss, PhD ; Rachel Stanford ; Salko Farm & Stable ; Shari Goldstein, CCC-SLP ; Stephanie "Stevi" Giurco, OTA ; and Tom Crowley .

^*Nancy K. Miller, "Portraits of Grief: Telling Details and the Testimony of Trauma,"Differences: A Journal of Feminist Cultural Studies 14, no. 3 : 112–135.

Image credit: Bizu/WENN.com

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Learn about Asperger's syndrome

What you need to know about aspies

Many kids with a high-functioning form of autism called Asperger’s syndrome are mainstreamed in regular classrooms at school. Learn what parents of kids with Asperger’s want you to know about the kids your child may interact with and befriend in the classroom.

Between the news and popular television programs like Parenthood, Asperger’s syndrome is a common topic. Learn what parents want you to know about this specific type of autism and what you can teach your child.

Aspies have impaired social skills

Kids with Asperger’s syndrome don’t always relate to their peers the way other kids do. A child with Asperger’s, often fondly referred to as an Aspie, focuses on a narrow set of behaviors and interests. Oftentimes a child with Asperger’s struggles to carry on meaningful conversations about topics outside of those interests. This can come across as a lack of empathy and a lack of interest in others. Let your child know that her classmate with Asperger’s syndrome isn’t being rude or mean on purpose.

Aspies are just like other kids

While a child with Asperger’s syndrome isn’t exactly the same as a neurotypical child, she’s still just a kid. She has hopes and dreams and a sense of humor and a genuine desire to make friends. She loves her family and her toys and may not have any concept of her neurological differences. While children with Asperger’s may be socially awkward, with atypical speech patterns and high intelligence, they’re just as eager as other kids to fit in. Let your child know that it’s OK to be confused or frustrated by his classmate, but that he should never bully, tease or call attention to different behaviors.

Learn more about the passion of autism>>

It’s OK to ask questions

If your child goes to school with a classmate who has Asperger’s syndrome, don’t hesitate to ask questions. It’s best to approach the other parent instead of the teacher, who isn’t allowed to share private information about another student. Find out how you can encourage a friendship between your children. Ask what you can do to make the other child more comfortable in your home or on a play date. Find out what your child’s friend is interested in and see if those interests coincide with your child’s. Sometimes common interests can be the best jumping off point for a friendship.

Find online resources for children with special needs>>

Parents want you to be aware of misconceptions

In the aftermath of the tragedy at Sandy Hook School, parents of children with autism and Asperger’s syndrome were dismayed to see Asperger’s being mentioned in relation to the perpetrator. MyAutismTeam.com surveyed over 2,000 members and found that parents were concerned with misconceptions and a greater potential for bullying and judgment toward children with autism. Seventy-nine percent of responders indicated that it’s important for others to know that autism is not a mental illness but a neuro-developmental disorder. Parents also wanted others to know that autism is not linked to violence, and that children with autism are more likely to be victims of violent behavior.

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