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Unconventional holiday shopping tips for parents on a budget

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Start a new Christmas tradition this year — staying in budget. The holiday season can send your family into serious debt if you don't monitor your spending. Here are some unconventional holiday shopping tips for parents on a budget.

Start a new Christmas tradition this year — staying in budget. The holiday season can send your family into serious debt if you don't monitor your spending.

How to save money on holiday gifts

Here are some unconventional holiday shopping tips for parents on a budget.

Procrastinate

Usually we discourage procrastination, but it actually might come in handy when it comes to holiday shopping for your kids. Since Black Friday sales have come and gone, many retailers will lower prices on toys and clothes for children right before Christmas. So it might make sense to wait to shop — especially if you aren't looking for the "hot" toys that tend to sell out. When shopping online, wait until Free Shipping Day, which is Monday, December 17 this year. More than a thousand online merchants offer free shipping plus other discounts on this day. Plus, they'll still deliver by Christmas Eve.

Comb Craigslist

"If you're new to Christmas with kids, I'll let you in on a little secret: The preschool crowd doesn't know a new toy from a used one," says writer, mother and penny-pincher, Ashley Grimaldo. "You'll need to assemble all bikes, doll houses and train tables the night before anyway, so just find the beloved, sought-after toy and buy it for less than half the cost on Craigslist from someone across town. Princess will love it just as much."

In addition to Craigslist and eBay, check your local thrift stores, consignment shops and other resale stores. Also check out Freecycle, where many people list gently-used items that they are giving away.

Sell some older toys first

"The preschool crowd doesn't know a new toy from a used one."

"It goes without saying that most children in the U.S. have too much stuff to start with," explains Grimaldo. "Add 18 Christmas and birthday extravaganzas to the mix and you've got a packrat on your hands. Have your children select at least three or four playthings they don't use anymore and try to get cash for them at a children's resale store. Use the cash to buy one or two new gifts."

Focus on family activities

Change things up on Christmas this year. Instead of all the focus being on unwrapping presents and finding out who received which gifts, start some different holiday traditions. Begin by going to church on Christmas morning or serving a special family breakfast before opening the gifts. Also, spend Christmas Eve volunteering as a family at the homeless shelter or local soup kitchen. Then, enjoy the evening watching classic Christmas movies together.

Take away the emphasis on gifts and material things, and put it back on the family activities and giving spirit of the holidays. Your kids will be happier and your wallet won't be any lighter.

More about the holidays

Easy Christmas crafts for kids
Christmas Eve family traditions we love
Classic toys that still make great Christmas gifts


Great ideas for family Christmas card photos

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Many parents love including family photos into our annual Christmas cards, and some of us even make the pictures a part of the actual card. If you’re stumped for a way to set up your photo session, we’ve gathered up some of the cutest Christmas family pictures to give you an idea for your own holiday photo shoot.

Laura's Christmas family photo

Matching or coordinating outfits

Incorporating a matching or coordinating outfit in your family holiday photo is a sweet idea. Here, Laura’s mother, Joan Nimtz, pictured here with her grandchildren, Davina, Maya, Olivia, Luke, Andy and Jude, knitted the sweaters the little ones are wearing. Such a cute idea to include Grandma in the photo!

Image credit: Laura Benitz Photography

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Maeghan's Christmas family photo

Eye-catching backdrop

Maeghan’s boys, Cameron and Henry, are pictured in front of a vivid red door upon which a wreath hangs. Your eye is drawn downward to her handsome sons, who are barefoot and wearing matching white shirts. The color in the photo is striking and pulls the elements of the scene and the kiddos together very well.

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Kelly's Christmas family photo

Incorporate single photos into the card

Single portraits, like these of Kelly’s children, are easily worked into a family Christmas card. You don’t have to worry about getting everyone’s attention for a group shot, which, as parents, we know can be hit-or-miss on even the best days. Instead, you can concentrate on getting their photos taken by themselves and then incorporate them into the card itself.

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Aubrey's Christmas family photo

Outdoors

Your Christmas photo does not have to scream "Christmas!" with snow and holiday decorations — consider thinking outside the box for the picture you add to your Christmas cards this year. The outdoors makes an excellent setting for family pictures no matter the season — the natural surroundings give the perfect backdrop. Aubrey and her family look so relaxed and totally adorable in this year’s picture.

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Lindsey's Christmas family photo

Isolated subjects

Here, Lindsey and her family are isolated on a black backdrop so the viewer’s eyes focus on the family. Their faces are clear and sharp and you can really get a good look at how lovely the family is and how their daughter has grown since last year.

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Carrie's Christmas family photoOldest to youngest

Carrie’s daughters are pictured here, cascading from her oldest daughter to her newest addition. Not only is it a beautiful way to showcase her family, but it gives the picture a sense of fluidity and motion.

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Traci's Christmas family photoSymmetrical group

Traci’s impressive brood is grouped together here in perfect symmetry — Aiden, the oldest, is in the middle, and is flanked by Violet and Raelene. The newest family members, Scarlett and Veronica, are seated carefully in front of them. Together, they look almost star shaped.

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Niki's Christmas family photo

Santa suit

A Santa suit is perfect for a Christmas picture, especially if it’s on an adorable newborn baby. Here, Niki stands in front of her family’s Christmas tree, holding Lucas, who was born just a couple of weeks before Christmas.

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Monica's Christmas family photo

Props

Especially if you have a young baby or toddler to photograph, you can often distract them long enough to take the picture while giving them a Christmas-themed toy or prop to play with. Here, Lauren and her younger sister, Willow, are holding the family’s stocking holders. It worked — a quick “Yoo hoo!” and the picture was taken.

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Jolene's Christmas family photo

Costumes

How adorable are these kiddos? Jolene’s mother wanted her grandkids to dress up for the family Christmas photo, so they gathered Santa and snowman costumes and went to town. Priceless memories were made this day!

More family Christmas fun

10 Holiday traditions from across the world
5 Fun Christmas Eve traditions with kids
Family Christmas movies to bring the holiday spirit

Mom story: I went from welfare to life coaching

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After enduring poverty and loss, Cynthia Occelli’s life experience helped her create practical approaches to success. Feeling compelled to share her knowledge, Cynthia wrote Resurrecting Venus, a guidebook that gives real-world insight on how women can tap into their feminine essence and achieve the life they want. Learn how Cynthia coaches women to believe in themselves.

My mom story

by Cynthia Occelli
as told to Julie Weingarden Dubin

The lowest point of my life was the day I brought my newborn son home. I loved my baby so much — he was beautiful and perfect but it broke my heart that I could barely provide for him. I was 19 and “home” was a detached, barren garage in Seaside, California, owned by my son’s paternal grandmother. My son’s father was incarcerated, my mother was poor and I had nowhere else to go.

I’ll always remember the nails protruding from the rafters, the bugs and it being so cold because we didn’t have heat. It was nearly impossible to afford diapers and food on welfare, let alone a crib. I felt like I’d failed the most important person in the world. I knew that I had to create a better life for my son.

Steps toward change

Turning my life around wasn’t easy, but I felt I had nothing to lose. I was already a ninth grade drop-out living on welfare. I reasoned that failing wouldn’t look much different. I relied on my dreams to guide me. I used to imagine living a safe, healthy, successful life every night. I did it to escape the misery I was feeling but it changed my outlook and helped me to become motivated and to recognize opportunities and possibilities.

After being on welfare for more than two years while caring for my son, we moved into a house with a roommate. I was so thrilled to have heat and plumbing. I took the California Real Estate License exam and the following year moved to Los Angeles to be with my mom.

I was willing to do whatever it took to change our lives. I stepped outside of my comfort zone. I babysat, sold insurance door-to-door and learned bookkeeping. I listened to motivational tapes and read books about people who were successful. I learned to believe in myself. I took constant action. I applied for jobs, thought of business ideas, and always tried to better myself. Determined to prove my worth, I set my sights on law school. I did well on the LSAT and found a school that accepted me. I graduated in the top 3 percent of my class a few years later.

A Cinderella story

After I climbed out of poverty, I found love and married a wonderful man. We welcomed a little girl and built our dream home in Bel Air, California. My life was a fairytale but in an instant, my world collapsed. My husband had a ruptured brain aneurysm that washed away his memory, personality and our marriage. I took care of him for almost a year and then he went to live with his family in France and we later divorced.

In my darkest moment, I wanted to just let everything go and stop trying. But I couldn’t give up on life and leave my children to suffer. I resolved to put my life back together. I had no idea if I would ever feel like smiling again. Over the next several years, I worked hard on myself. When I reached a place of emotional wholeness and inner joy, I knew I’d achieved something special and I wanted to share it, but I didn’t know how.

Stumbling upon coaching

Hey, Moms: Do you know a mother with a great story? We’re looking for Mom Stories. Email Jrosewriter@gmail.com with your suggestions.

I decided to become a business consultant. I helped entrepreneurs solve problems, implement plans and infrastructure and maximize profits. Ironically, instead of doing what I’d been hired to do, I always found myself coaching an owner through her fears or resolving relationship issues between co-workers. In time, my practice morphed into success coaching. Then, I began focusing on women who were starting over after a loss, or a change in lifestyle. I really hit my stride and the reward of seeing women overcome challenges and realize their dreams was the greatest sense of professional success I’d ever experienced. I decided to write the book, Resurrecting Venus, with the hopes of helping women to use their feminine essence to better themselves and their lives.

Today, my son’s in college, my daughter’s in 10th grade and I’m in a committed relationship with an incredible man. My children taught me about unconditional love — their love pulled me through my darkest moments. I want my kids to know that life is precious and the most important thing they can do is live a life that fits their unique definition of success.

Mom wisdom

You’re the most powerful person in your life and the only failure you’ll ever have is giving up — everything else is a setback on the road to success. Believe in yourself, take action and persevere.

Read more Mom Stories

I was homeless with three young kids
My crafting saved us

My big RV adventure

Fun-filled Christmas break ideas

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The thought of a few weeks off from school is enough to send any school-aged kid into a spasm of excitement. But don't be surprised if you hear those dreaded words just days into the holiday break. Keep boredom at bay all through the break.

Surprise them daily

As their holiday break begins, surprise your kids with a small gift for each of the days they are off school. Hint: Make the “gift” one that will entertain your child a true white Christmas.

Decorate

Enlist your children to help you decorate your home for the holidays. Bigger kids can help Dad with the lights and electronic decorations while the little ones can be in charge of gel window decals. Give your tree a special touch by stringing popcorn and making homemade ornaments.

Do good with these 5 budget-friendly holiday activities that teach kids social responsibility>>

Do some holiday activities

Regardless of how big or small your town is, we’re sure there are plenty of holiday happenings to participate in come December. You don’t have to partake in every single Christmas activity, but sprinkle your kids’ winter break calendar with a few fun holiday activities like driving around to view Christmas lights, going to see Santa at a local mall, attending holiday activities at your local amusement park or seeing a Christmas performance like The Nutcracker.

Prepare a craft basket

Before winter break starts, fill a large basket with random items perfect for craft-making like glue, ribbon, spare buttons, old socks, pipe cleaners, popsicle craft sticks, construction paper and more. Check Pinterest for some easy holiday crafts that older kids can do on their own . If your kids start with the “I’m bored” song and dance, you can pull out the basket and suggest they get crafty!

Get them in the kitchen

There is always plenty of cooking and baking to be done throughout the holidays, so why not let your kids help? We can’t think of a kid out there who would not volunteer to help make Christmas cookies .

Now what are you going to do with all those cookies? Have a cookie party!

Check out these 10 tips for a cookie exchange>>

Beyond just the sweet stuff, encourage your kids’ interest in cooking by suggesting they make one dish for the holiday meal this year. Help them research some recipes online or in your collection of cookbooks, then go shopping together for the ingredients and oversee their special dishes in the kitchen with them at the helm. Contributing to the big feast this holiday will surely make your child feel special.

More fun holiday break ideas

Movies to watch over the boring holiday break
How to keep the kids off the couch during the holiday break

How to have a great holiday break when your child has ADHD

More than white noise

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Children are exposed to almost four hours of background television a day on top of their active viewing time. Surprisingly even passive TV viewing is linked with attentional problems and poor information retention. Keep your family’s screen time at a minimum with these simple tips easily adaptable to any home.

In many households, the TV is left on all day long. On average, children are exposed to almost four hours of background television a day on top of their active viewing time.

Is background TV harmful to our kids?

Surprisingly even passive TV viewing is linked with attentional problems and poor information retention. Keep your family’s screen time at a minimum with these simple tips easily adaptable to any home.

Contributed by Alicia DiFabio, Psy.D.

We have all heard the drawbacks of putting our children in front of the television. Excessive screen time has been linked with higher rates of obesity, lower reading and cognitive scores, sleep disturbances, aggression, desensitization to violence, and even vascular changes in the eyes which is associated with heart risk. But what about when the television is simply on in the background and no one seems to be watching it?

Background noise

"Chronic background TV may impact a child’s development and hinder achievement of their full potential."

Approximately 30 percent of American families report that their television stays on the entire day which accumulates to an enormous amount of “passive” TV watching. A 2012 study by Lapeirre and Piotrowski published in Pediatrics indicates that children are exposed to almost four hours of “inactive” or background television a day on top of their average 80 minutes of active TV viewing in a day. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children watch no more than two hours of educational, non-violent programming a day and absolutely no screen time for children under age 2.

Does passive TV viewing really count?

The problem with background TV is that even if a child is seemingly not paying attention, their brain is still being bombarded with sounds and distracted by images. Children exposed to background TV were found to have more difficulty sustaining attention during playtime, discriminating and attending to voices, performed poorly on cognitive tests and displayed diminished quality parent-child interactions compared to children who were not exposed. When the TV is on during homework, kids were found to retain less information which impacts learning and school performance. When TV is on during dinner, quality of conversation with the family suffers.

Though research is preliminary, the emerging data cannot be ignored. Chronic background TV may impact a child’s development and hinder achievement of their full potential.

Decreasing screen time

You can reduce your family's screen time in a number of ways:

Make one day a TV-less day

Some families adopt “TV-less Tuesday” where the television stays off all day and the family plays board games in the evening. If you can survive one day a week without TV, you may find that your dependence on it reduces.

Turn it off when not being watched

If the TV is used as background noise or mindless entertainment, try playing music instead. Unlike TV, music stimulates different areas of the brain and is well-documented as a positive influence on brain development and relaxation. There should be absolutely no TV during homework, family time or meals.

Limit all TV to certain times of day

Some families have a “No TV before school” rule or “No TV until after dinner and homework” rule. Remember all screen time counts, including movies and videos watched on the computer.

Practice what you preach

Setting an example will not only benefit your children but you will find yourself being more productive and more engaged.

Create a schedule

Have your kids select the one or two programs they want to watch daily and only turn on the TV for those shows.

Alicia DiFabioAbout the Author:

Alicia DiFabio, Psy.D. has her doctorate in psychology and is a published essayist working on her first book. She resides in New Jersey with her husband and four children and can be contacted through her blog where she writes about family and special needs parenting at Welcome To My Planet.

More about kids and TV

Homework and its enemy: Secondhand media exposure
Can you keep the media from being a bad influence on your child?
How do the media usurp the parenting role?

Gadget-gifting gone bad

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From gaming consoles to laptops to smartphones to portable game players, digital natives will inevitably rank electronic toys and gadgets at the top of their holiday gift-request list. But in most families, the battles begin almost as soon as kids rip off the wrapping paper as parents struggle with everything from non-stop texting to homework vs. screen-time struggles.

From gaming consoles to laptops to smartphones to portable game players, digital natives will inevitably rank electronic toys and gadgets at the top of their holiday gift-request list.

High-tech troubles

In most families, the battles begin almost as soon as kids rip off the wrapping paper as parents struggle with everything from non-stop texting to homework vs. screen-time struggles.

Contributed by Stacy DeBroff, CEO of Mom Central

If you are giving gadgets and electronics to your kids this year, consider these top holiday tips to prevent high-tech troubles.

Realize the electronic onslaught starts earlier than ever

Parents remember their own holiday lists — filled with records, board games, and model airplanes — and often struggle with their kids’ requests that contain nothing but electronics. With kids 5 and younger carrying one or two electronic devices during an average day, and most moms purchasing kids a cell phone between age 10 and 12, parents need to be prepared earlier than ever for electronic requests.

Know the long-term costs

While a gaming console or cell phone might sound like an ideal “big gift” for a tween or teen, don’t forget that the financial implications extend long after the holidays. Kids will always want more games and add-ons, and all those texts and app purchases can add up. Make sure you understand the long-term costs before getting swept up in holiday gift giving.

Look to limit the electronic cocoon

Kids today spend about 20 hours per week engaged with electronics, and one in five moms worry about technology overload. If you plan to grant your digital natives’ holiday wishes with a tablet, gaming device, or smartphone, make sure you decide in advance on some real-life guidelines — ranging from homework-gets-done-first rules to hourly screen time limits — to avoid kids existing in an ever-present electronic haze.

Have "The Electronic Talk"

These days small gadgets can lead to big troubles such as cyber-bullying, “sexting,” and online predators. Soon after kids pull off the wrapping paper, have a serious discussion about online risks and help kids understand the very-real consequences of online behavior.

Stay large and in-charge

Even as electronic gadgets play a bigger role in kids’ lives, parents often remain hesitant about setting boundaries — with just 23 percent of moms using an online program to filter internet access. Now more than ever, parents need to remain in control of kids’ electronic usage — even if the gadget comes wrapped with a big bow. Rules such as requiring kids to hand over phones before bedtime, banning texting during family get-togethers, and ensuring kids offer up passwords to social media accounts go a long way in keeping kids safe.

Stacy DeBroffAbout the author:

A dynamic national speaker, consultant, corporate spokesperson, and writer, Stacy DeBroff is founder and CEO of Mom Central, Inc., a company devoted to providing pragmatic tips and advice to strengthen and simplify the lives of busy families, and Mom Central Consulting, the nation’s leading viral marketing to moms agency.

More about high-tech kids

Kids and technology: Age appropriate guide
5 Reasons why your kids should have cell phones
Must-have gadgets for high-tech kids

Peaceful parenting

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Staying calm is one of the most important things new parents can do after they bring their new baby home from the hospital. It’s an essential step to achieve a happy and peaceful household for everyone.

Creating calm for your newborn

Staying calm is one of the most important things new parents can do after they bring their new baby home from the hospital.

It’s an essential step to achieve a happy and peaceful household for everyone.

When I work with a family, they usually say “Marva, you make it look so easy.” Well, it appears easy because of being calm and staying grounded. The calm is inside of you and there are some important things you can do to spread it around and radiate it to others, especially your spouse and newborn. Here are some things that you and your spouse can do to keep calm as new parents.

Eat well

This is something we all can do. The right foods like green vegetables and healthy grains can affect your mood and energy in a positive way. Eat healthy and it will help you stay strong.

Sex appeal

Don’t forget some sweet lovemaking with your spouse. Six weeks or so after birth, this should be part of getting back to a normal married relationship.

Alternate nights

It’s important for you and your partner to alternate staying up nights with the baby. The only thing that will happen if you both stay up are… arguments. By alternating nights, you will give each other a break and a chance to recharge.

Take a time-out

Each spouse should take turns watching the baby and allow the other to take a time-out. A quick trip to the driving range for a golf-loving husband will make him feel happier. A massage for a new mother will make her feel relaxed. These quick moments can rejuvenate Mom and Dad.

Meditate

Heading into a peaceful space for even just fifteen minutes to meditate will help you on all levels. In fact, you will find many of the answers you’re looking for as a new parent in that quiet space. So find a peaceful space in your home where you can meditate every day. You’ll soon realize that it can be a very beneficial break.

Pace yourself

Don’t take too much on at once as a new parent. Pacing yourself will help keep energy and morale up. By taking on too much at one time, you can fizzle out quickly or even get sick. This will be of no benefit to you, your spouse or your baby. Be careful how much you put on your plate at once. Stay calm and realize that some things can wait.

For more parenting tips, be sure to follow Marva Soogrim on Twitter.

More tips for new moms

Dealing with sleep deprivation
10 Simple baby care tricks Mom never told you
Best postpartum workouts for new moms

4 Holiday classroom treats

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Holidays and sweets go hand-in-hand, but with ideas that are so easy that your kids can pitch in you'll be inspired to whip up a whole batch of Christmas treats for your youngster's fellow school mates! From reindeer noses to Santa strawberries, bring the festivities to your kiddo's classroom with these four holiday classroom treats.

Reindeer noses

For those who love to combine crafting with treats, these classroom Christmas treats inspired by a personaltouch's blog post are the best of both worlds!

Materials:

  • Clear treat bags
  • Card stock, cut to treat bag width
  • Stamps or printed design
  • Whoppers chocolate malt candies
  • Red gumballs
  • Scissors
  • Stapler

Directions:

  1. Fill treat bags with several Whoppers candies for reindeer noses and one red gumball to represent Rudolph's nose.
  2. Print, stamp or emboss your cardstock to create a treat bag topper that reads, "Reindeer Noses."
  3. Fold down the treat bag, fold the cardstock in half horizontally and staple to the top of the treat bag to secure and start spreading the jolly with these cute holiday classroom treats!

Beat the winter blues with these kids' Christmas crafts that are sure to be a hit! >>

Marshmallow snowman treats

Be sure to get your youngsters involved in making these no-melt marshmallow snowman treats when you whip up these classroom Christmas treats found on flexibledreams' blog post!

Materials:

  • Wooden skewers
  • Marshmallows
  • Oreo cookies
  • Pretzel sticks
  • Orange Tic Tac candies
  • Chocolate candy melts
  • Chocolate frosting
  • Rolos candies
  • Fruit by the Foot
  • Toothpicks

Directions:

  1. Skewer three regular-sized marshmallows onto a wooden skewer.
  2. Melt your candy melts, dismantle your Oreo cookies and reserve unfrosted half
  3. Cut long strips of Fruit by the Foot for scarves and unwrap Rolo candies; set aside.
  4. For the face, dab two dots of candy melts for eyes and a thin smile; secure Tic Tac with a dot of candy melts as well.
  5. For middle section, add three dots of candy melts for buttons and push a single pretzel stick into each side for arms.
  6. Use chocolate frosting to secure Oreo to top of marshmallow head, then again to secure Rolo to top of cookie to create a hat.
  7. Finish off by tying "scarf" around your snowman's neck and your classroom treats are ready to go!

For fun that's good enough to eat, try these edible Christmas crafts>> 

3-D Penguin candy bar wrapper

Designed by Laurie Furnell, ready-to-print penguin candy bar wrappers make quick and easy holiday classroom treats that kids are guaranteed to love.

Materials:

  • Flat, full-sized candy bars such as Hershey's 1.55 oz. chocolate bars
  • Glue

Directions:

  1. Print template and cut to size.
  2. Cut out 3-D embellishments and adhere to template using glue.
  3. Using your 3-D candy wrapper, wrap around chocolate bar to cover original wrapper and secure ends with glue for a festive classroom treat that doesn't require you to step foot in the kitchen.

Santa strawberries

Bringing Christmas treats to your kids' classroom doesn't have to limit you to sugary snacks alone when you check out these Santa strawberries from LeanneBakes' blog.

Materials:

  • 1 dozen strawberries
  • 1 cup whipped cream
  • Handful of chocolate sprinkles
  • Paring knife

Directions:

  1. Remove stem end from strawberry with a paring knife to create a flat base for Santa; then slice opposite end to create a "hat" and set aside.
  2. Using a large icing tip, place a large dollop of whipped cream topping on top of the strawberry base and top with strawberry "hat"— the tip you reserved — topped with a tiny drop of whipped cream as a pom-pom.
  3. Place two chocolate sprinkles in the first dollop for Santa's eyes, and two dots of whipped cream on the front of the strawberry as buttons and you're ready to rock around the Christmas tree!

Read more holiday tips

Keep your family healthy during the holidays
6 Easy holiday hairstyles for kids
Holiday decor you can use year round


Bendable Elf on the Shelf: How to make your Elf posable

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We met our Elf on the Shelf for the first time this year, only to realize that Sparkle the Elf had a major problem and would soon need to undergo surgery.

Elf hacking - bendable arms

When we first met our elf, Sparkle, my excitement definitely matched that of my kids. I'd been doing my research and pinning away so that I could dazzle and amaze my munchkins with funny, naughty and surprising placements like these super creative ideas.

Elf on the shelf ideas

There was one major problem though: The Elf on the Shelf is not bendable! There isn't any wire in the elf's arms or legs. Of course you can work around this, and to his credit, the Elf actually sits upright really well. But I had some elf-tastic ideas up my sleeve that would require the Elf to actually hold on to its perch.

So here's how we made our Elf on the Shelf bendable. It only requires a bit of hand-stitching, so even the most craft-challenged among you can easily transform your Elf into a bendable figure.

Wire cutters, needles, pliers... seem like too much for you and Elfie to handle? Then check out our simple no-sew option at the end of the article!

Supplies

Elf hacking supplies

  • Floral wire
  • Needle-nose pliers
  • Wire cutters
  • Sharp needle
  • Red/white thread
  • Seam ripper

Prepping the Elf for surgery

The Elf's reconstructive surgery is best done during nap time or while your kids are at school because of course, if you touch him in front of the kids he will lose his powers! Give the Elf a pat on the shoulder, assure him he'll pull through just fine and if you haven't already, use the seam ripper to cut the thread holding the Elf's hands together.

Directions:

1

Remove stitches - making your Elf on the Shelf bendable

Using the seam ripper, remove three to four stitches from the tip of the Elf's hand. You only need an opening large enough to slip your wire through.

2

Loop wire - making your Elf on the Shelf bendable

Using the needle nose pliers, bend the top of the wire into a loop. This prevents the wire from poking through the end of the Elf's arm or leg.

3

Cut the wire to fit - making your Elf on the Shelf bendable

Lay the wire along the Elf's arm to measure how long you need it to be. Cut the wire with the wire cutters, just short of the end of the Elf's hand, and bend this end into a loop as well.

4

Insert wire - making your Elf on the Shelf bendable

Slip the wire into the opening in the Elf's hand and work it up toward the Elf's shoulder. If it's peeking out of the Elf's hand still, you'll need to recut the wire and make it shorter.

5

Stitching the elf back up - making your Elf on the Shelf bendable

Using your sewing needle and white thread, begin stitching up the Elf's hand. Trim the threads.

6

Bendable arms - making your Elf on the Shelf bendable

Repeat this process for the Elf's other arm and legs and voila! Your Elf can now grasp itself to almost any surface by bending his arms and legs.

Want a sew-free surgery option for your Elf on the Shelf? You can attach a small piece of white Velcro to the insides of your Elf's hands using hot glue. The Elf's hands will be able to stick together so that it can hang from things like chandeliers, cabinet knobs, fan pulls... you get the idea!

More holiday articles:

Ideas for your own Elf on the Shelf
Matching Christmas pajamas for the whole family
Wiener dog Santa cookies


Navigating Christmas with a newborn

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When you’re managing life with a newborn, Christmas can really sneak up on you. Take the holidays one step at time, be realistic about what you can accomplish, and learn how to manage all those loved ones who are eager to meet the newest member of your family.


Celebrate with your new bundle of joy

When you’re managing life with a newborn, Christmas can really sneak up on you. Take the holidays one step at a time, be realistic about what you can accomplish, and learn how to manage all those loved ones who are eager to meet the newest member of your family.

As you celebrate your baby’s first Christmas, learn how to navigate the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Take it easy and set firm boundaries and you’ll be able to enjoy the season, even if you and your little blessing nap through most of it.

Make time to feed in peace

Whether you’re breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, carve out peaceful time to feed your newborn. The key here is to do what’s most comfortable for you and for your baby. Even if you’re comfortable nursing in public, your baby might be easily distracted by lights and sounds. Don’t stress about what others may think if you prefer to feed your baby in public. If you have guests in the house, be firm about what you need during feeding time. If you’re at a guest’s home, communicate clearly when you need to feed your baby and what you need to feed your baby comfortably.

Ask for help when you need it

No one expects you to be a superhero when you’re navigating life with a newborn. Over the holidays, learn how to ask for help. Know that your friends and family absolutely understand that life is hectic and focused on your baby. Ask for help with meals, with wrapping presents, or even with getting some housework done before guests arrive for the holidays and to visit the new baby. If you find yourself stressed and unable to cope, talk to your partner or give your doctor a call. There’s no reason to suffer alone.

Learn how to reduce the stress of the holidays>>

Avoid situations that make you uneasy

Holiday gatherings can be loud and full of relatives you rarely see. If you find that you’re being pushed outside of your comfort zone, give yourself permission to pull back. Feel free to set strict parameters around who holds your baby. Ask everyone to wash hands thoroughly. If you feel more comfortable skipping big gatherings this year, just say so. No one will fault you for needing to take it easy when you’re operating on very little sleep and your attention is focused on your baby.

Find out how to survive the holidays with your family>>

Have someone take lots of photos

Document the holiday season by asking a friend or your partner to take camera duty. This is a special time, and one you’ll likely forget the details of thanks to sleep deprivation and the general fog that comes with nurturing a tiny baby. Bring a camera along if you attend holiday parties, and let people take photos of you, your family and others at the gathering. Later, when you’re settled into a more reasonable routine, you’ll appreciate having your holiday memories documented.

More newborn tips

5 Simple soothing techniques for fussy babies
How to properly hold a newborn
The ultimate new baby checklist

Outdoor winter activities for kids

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Winter doesn't have to mean chilly afternoons huddled indoors. Instead, bundle up the kids for some fun outdoor winter activities that will get their hearts pumping.

Winter doesn't have to mean chilly afternoons huddled indoors. Instead, bundle up the kids for some fun outdoor winter activities that will get their hearts pumping.

Mom-tested
solutions for fun

Hey, baby, it's cold outside! But, that doesn't mean that you and the kids shouldn't bundle up for some winter fun.

Knowing the right outdoor activities for winter days is the first step to having a healthy, active winter. "I think it’s important to make fitness a part of your child’s life from the youngest of age. The best way for them to learn it is for you to model it. Do a stroller workout and/or take your baby to a mommy and me fitness class. They will see that Mom likes to exercise," says Lisa Druxman, creator of Stroller Strides.

Dr. Fatima S. Khan, pediatrician with Rush-Copley Medical Center and an assistant professor in the department of pediatrics at Rush University Medical College in Chicago says that keeping active all year round is an absolute must for families. "This is very important. The No. 1 reason for the childhood obesity epidemic is due to physical inactivity and spending too much time in front of TV or computer games," says Dr. Khan.

Things to know before playing outside in the winter

Ready to tear your kids away from the games and get them outside for winter activities? Here are a few things to know:

  1. Before heading outside, make sure that your kids are bundled up to be warm. You should bundle up too. Be sure to wear gloves, coats and warm socks, along with weather-appropriate footwear.
  2. Be aware of the signs of frostbite in kids. If your child complains of aching pain or numbness, most often to their extremities or their skin feels hard/waxy with a white color, come inside immediately and follow these instructions.
  3. Don't worry, playing outside won't make them sick. Dr. Khan says that the idea that going outside in the cold will give you a cold is nothing more than an old wives' tale. "Just going outside doesn't make people catch colds. Of course, they should be appropriately dressed... and if it's really cold, like we get in Chicago, staying inside is better," says Dr. Khan. However, Dr. Khan does say that if someone has been exposed to the cold virus, then being in the cold weather can make the cold come on faster.
  4. Stay hydrated. Just like any other time of the year, it's important that you and your kids drink enough. "Don’t forget to bring water, even when the weather is chilly," says Mindy Pierce, director of programming for Sport & Health Clubs.

Want more? Check out 4 safety tips during winter sports >>

Build a snowman

Do you remember rolling the snow into balls to create three parts for a special snowman? It was a lot of fun, but that's not all. Making a snowman is also awesome exercise. "Moving all that snow around takes a lot of work," says mom Alethea Smock, whose kids are ages 3 and 5.

Bubble time

You might associate blowing bubbles with sundresses, bare feet and green grass. But in the winter time, it takes on a whole new dimension. "My kids' favorite is blowing bubbles on freezing days and watching them turn into ice bubbles — they look amazing," says Sam'n Iqbal, a parent educator and mother of three.

Shoveling help

It goes without saying that shoveling snow is hard work. It's also awesome exercise — even for kids. Pick up a kid-sized shovel and have them help out by clearing a path in the snow, or digging to make fun patterns. Afterwards, they can look from second story windows to see their winding snow walks!

Geocaching

The mere mention of the word 'treasure' is guaranteed to light up kids' eyes. So, why not take them on a real-life treasure hunt with geocaching? People use global positioning devices and the internet to seek out items hidden by others. "When my guys were 12 and 13 it was fun to do geocaching where you find people's hidden items via internet clues and GPS. It's done all over the world [and] it's fun to hide items too," says mom of two, Kerri Hopkins. Hopkins said that from her experience, this is best for the age 11 to 13 crowd.

Want to try it? Check out Geocaching.com for help.

Look for animal tracks

Whenever it snows, it sets the stage for an ultra-fun family activity: Tracking animals. Grab a camera and your kids and check out the animal tracks in your freshly fallen snow. Take photos too, so you can compare them to photos of animal tracks later.

Mom Rebecca P. Cohen of RebeccaPlants.com, who is the spokesmom for the National Wildlife Federation's Be Out There movement, says that although she has a book for IDing tracks, the internet is her preferred tool. "Most of the time we just do a quick internet search when we get inside for animal tracks pictures. It's a fun way to 'investigate' the mystery of which animal track you saw and to get used to looking up answers to questions together. Outside time definitely piques kids' curiosity and they have lots of questions. So looking up questions with your child on the internet is a great way to learn together," says Cohen.

Flashlight tag

Love the game of tag? Flashlight tag is like the fun classic game, except players tag each other with beams of light, instead of hands. "We started playing flash tag just by stepping outside at night with our flashlights in winter and the kids started flashing their flashlights and chasing each other," says Cohen.

So, how does she keep track in the dark? "I'm pretty specific with them about where they can play and I stay with them for flash tag," says Cohen.

Next page: 5 more fun outdoor activities

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Sledding

Going down the hill is the most fun part, for sure. But the trek back up to go again? That is by far the best for your kid's body . Pick up a sled, available at most major retailers like Target and Walmart, and head out for some wintery fun the next time it snows.

Ice skating

Whether your kids are little or big, ice skating can be a ton of fun. With the winter Olympics just around the corner, kids will love the idea of trying out this major winter sport. Did you know that many ice rinks even have special contraptions to help little kids stay standing while learning to skate? Buy or rent skates for the whole family and give it a whirl .

Skiing/snowboarding

Have mountain, will ski. Skiing and snowboarding are fun wintertime activities. Find a nearby mountain, rent some gear and try out a lesson or two for the kids . If you like it, one or both could be an awesome winter sport for the family to enjoy.

Hiking

Think hiking is just for warm weather? Think again. "Discover local trails. Even around a large metropolitan area, many hidden trails can be found," says Pierce. Moms agree that winter hiking can be just as fun as warm weather hiking. "We have three daughters, aged 14, 12 and 4. We live in the Denver area, and every weekend our family goes hiking in the mountains, usually in the Boulder-Lyons area, sometimes closer to Estes Park/Rocky Mountain National Park," says Sherry Knecht. Knecht's family hikes all year, except when the weather is just too brutal.

Build a bigger snowball

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you didn't stop rolling that ball for the base of a snowman? Well, have your kids find out with this idea from Sneaky Fitness by Larysa DiDio and Missy Chase Lapine. Try exercise #17 in the book, called Snow Roll. Basically, kids roll snow balls to see how big they can make them. Then, whenever it snows, they roll them some more to see how big they can make the snowballs over time. Bonus: The kids can see how long the snowballs last before they melt away.

More fun activities for kids

5 Family resolutions you should make this year
3 Indoor games to get kids moving

Rainy day crafts for kids from the kitchen

Stay sharp over Christmas break

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During Christmas break, don’t let kids abandon all their study skills. Sneak in a few healthy habits and learn how to structure time for reading and educational play.

During Christmas break, don’t let kids abandon all their study skills. Sneak in a few healthy habits and learn how to structure time for reading and educational play.

Keep kids engaged
in education

Over the holidays, the last thing kids want to do is study. Instead of structuring lessons, try these steps to keep kids sharp and ready to begin the New Year with success at school.

Limit television time

When kids are at home all day, it’s easy to let them bend the normal rules. Don’t let your kids vegetate in front of the TV too often during Christmas break. A few holiday programs and Christmas movies are fine, but nonstop TV marathons should be avoided. To avoid the temptation to let the television “babysit” while you’re busy with holiday preparations, have activities like puzzles and games ready for those inevitable cries of, “Mom, I’m bored!” Encourage your children to play outside. If your kids want to play video games, only allow games that get them moving and cooperating.

Learn how to keep kids active in the winter>>

Maintain a regular reading schedule

During the school year, your child should be reading every day. Try to maintain this habit as much as you can over the holiday break. On some evenings, things may be too busy for reading time, but you should avoid letting reading time slip away frequently. Make special time for reading Christmas books and encourage older kids to wind down with a book during the day. If you’re traveling, pack books for entertaining the kids in the car and while waiting around. Avoid the trap of spending too much time plugged in to tablets and portable gaming systems when you’re traveling and attending holiday parties.

Check out these reading games kids love>>

Use everyday math skills

Math is all around us. The holidays are a great time to stress the importance of math in everyday life. As you do your last-minute shopping and when you hit the mall to return things after the holidays, talk to your kids about budgeting and math as it relates to shopping. Let older kids help you calculate sales percentages and estimate tax. Let younger kids shop for gifts with a small budget. Even preschoolers can practice math skills by counting objects you see as you’re out and about. Remind kids that even in a time of smartphones, it’s important to be able to do arithmetic and basic estimates without the assistance of a computer.

Schedule play dates

Social skills are part of school success. Education can be as much about learning to work with other people as it is about basics like reading and math. Kids who are withdrawn and kids who struggle with behavior need peer interaction to stay in the swing of things. Schedule a few casual play dates during Christmas break. This will give your kids time to interact with friends amid the hectic schedule of holiday gatherings. They’ll benefit from unstructured play and the chance to catch up with friends. When traveling and attending holiday gatherings, keep in mind that kids need time to be kids. It’s fine to socialize with adults, but play time is important too.

More on holiday tips

Holiday tips from parents of children with autism
Ideas for your own Elf on the Shelf
Creative Christmas card display ideas

Mommy tweets: Jessica Alba, Busy Philipps, Brandi Glanville

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What were on the minds and Twitter feeds of some of our favorite celebrity moms this week? Jessica Alba tweeted about announcing the Golden Globe nominations with fellow “hot mom” Megan Fox, while Busy Philipps tweeted her positive pregnancy test! Brandi Glanville tweeted about her family drama, while Brooke Burke-Charvet kept us updated on her prognosis after her thyroid surgery.

Megan Fox, Ed Helms, Jessica Alba at Golden GlobesJessica Alba

“Can't believe I'm waking up rt now,” tweeted Jessica Alba in the wee hours of the morning. The actress, along with Megan Fox and Ed Helms, starting making the announcements for the nominations for the Golden Globe Awards at 5:20 a.m. Pacific time.

“backstage w the sexiest mama Ms Megan Fox n Hilarious hipster @EdHelms @goldenglobes nomination announcments,” she tweeted. “#cheers & congrats to all the nominees.”

Fox gave birth to her first child, a boy named Noah, just three months ago.

“Champers before 6am -yes please #goldenglobes #drinkinintheAM,” she wrote, with a link to a photo of her, Fox and Helms drinking champagne out of gold goblets.

“Someone came to visit mommy at work today!” she later wrote, with a photo of her at her Honest Company office holding her adorable daughter Haven.

“Can't believe she's already in dress up... My baby is getting so big!” she also tweeted, sharing another photo of her adorable baby.

Busy Philipps

“So this happened...,” tweeted Cougar Town actress Busy Philipps, with a link to a photo of a positive pregnancy test.

“Thanks for all the sweet words and warm wishes today! It's been really nice to read them! Birdie is, indeed, super excited to be a big sis,” she later wrote, referring to 4-year-old daughter with her husband screenwriter Marc Silverstein.

On a pregnancy fashion note, Philipps tweeted: “I'm gonna do something today that pretty much goes against what I stand for as a human but as I'm pregnant & it's raining, I'm wearing sweats.”

Brooke Burke

“Surgery went well & I can talk. Losing My voice was my biggest fear,” Brooke Burke-Charvet tweeted after her neck surgery for thyroid cancer. “Thx for all your prayers & light.”

“Rough night, but looking forward to another day of healing. Kind of a joke trying to rest with all kids. But, I'm getting there,” the Dancing with the Stars host later wrote.

And later she tweeted, “missing my Sunday booty burn class. can't work out 4 a while, but I'm feeling good. Missing my Malibu Mamas today.”

It sounds like the 41-year-old, who recently wrote on her ModernMom website that all the thyroid cancer has been removed and her lymph nodes are clear, is back on the road to recovery.

“morning, making coffee, making lunches. lIfe is getting back to normal. Day 7 post-surgery. I'm still sore but getting there,” she tweeted.

Brandi Glanville

Brandi Glanville and her two sons

“Im not bitter Im concerned 4 MY kids,Im not n luv with EC n ANY way,Im happy 2 go BACK 2 therapy with them &PS I left him he didnt leave me,” tweeted Brandi Glanville.

In case you need that tweet deciphered, here it is in layman's terms: “I’m not bitter. I’m concerned for my kids. I’m not in love with Eddie Cibrian in any way. I’m happy to go back to therapy with them . P.S. I left him he didn’t leave me.”

In case you are playing catch-up, Cibrian had an affair with LeAnn Rimes while they were filming a movie. He and Glanville then divorced and now Rimes and Cibrian are married. Glanville and Cibrian have two boys together.

Obviously, the co-parenting thing is not going well.

“I want it to go away so I can deal with it on my own. I know it seems hypocritical but can we not talk about "them" anymore at least 4 today,” she tweeted, about Rimes and Cibrian. “This is about my kids not them!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Giuliana Rancic interviewed LeAnn Rimes on E! News about the drama going on — and Glanville wasn’t happy that her two sons were in the interview because Cibrian will not allow them to be on her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills show.

“My kids can be on a E news special apparently but not in the back ground of the show I am on? Amazing!” she wrote.

She also re-tweeted this from one of her followers: “@GiulianaRancic How about interviewing @BrandiGlanville so u can hear BOTH sides of the story or is she not rich enuf? #BestWay2Get2TheTruth”

Lastly, she wrote that she tries to shield her sons from what is going on in the media. “Just to be completely clear my kids are happy boys that really have no idea that anything negative is going on between us parents,” she tweeted.

From sweet and heartwarming to weird and wacky, check out more celebrity mom tweets here>>

Photos: WENN

Out of touch with your child?

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Your kids may be your pride and joy but that doesn’t mean they are just like you. In fact, a lot of parents struggle to find anything in common with their children. If you’re one of them, how do you find common ground so that you and your children can be close?

Your kids may be your pride and joy but that doesn’t mean they are just like you. In fact, a lot of parents struggle to find anything in common with their children.

Finding common ground

How do you find common ground so that you and your children can be close?

As a parent, relating to your child can be a struggle, especially during the tween and teen years. Some call it a rite of passage, others call it growing up. Whatever label you adopt, kids will go through a stage of self-discovery which usually doesn’t include celebrating commonalities with their parents.

That’s life

Even if you once shared hobbies or interests with your child, at some point, it’s natural for her to pull away a bit. "As children become independent and ‘individuate’ from their parents, they begin to spread their wings, find their own voice, their own interests and their own experiences," says Dr. Philip Dembo, life coach, relationship expert and author of the book The Real Purpose of Parenting: The Book You Wish Your Parents Read. "It doesn't seem to matter what generation we are talking about, this ‘individuation’ is developmentally necessary and creates real sadness and worry for the parent who fears losing touch with their child." This time of discovery can leave a parent feeling disconnected from a child but that’s not necessarily the case.

Find out: How much independence should a teenager have? >>

How do you connect?

While it can be difficult to watch a child pull away, parents don’t have to feel isolated in the process. A little adjustment to your perspective can change the experience from potentially painful to oddly liberating. Perhaps redefining what it means to connect can alleviate some of the angst that often accompanies young adulthood. "We have to make sure we are clear with what defines ‘in common’ or ‘compatible’ between the parent and the child," says Dr. Dembo. At a certain point, connecting goes beyond being Facebook friends or enjoying the same type of music. Turns out, being a parent — rather than trying to be a peer or a friend — is the best way to ensure a genuine relationship.

Are you a BFF parent?>>

The truth of the matter

If you and your child don’t have a ton in common when it comes to hobbies, music and interests, the fact that you are family trumps all. Even if you are polar opposites in personality and temperament, the two of you have a deep understanding of your family culture and a connection that is far more significant than any hobby or passing fad. "Parents must hold onto the belief that we are deeply compatible with our children when we don't attempt to be topically connected but rather emotionally connected through our commitment to one another, our respect for one another, and our reliance on one another to embrace the culture of our family identity," says Dr. Dembo.

Read about 7 creative family bonding ideas>>

Solid perspective

When you feel disconnected from your child or struggle to find common ground, Dr. Dembo offers the following insights to help parents gain valuable perspective:

  • Remember, you don't have to dress like your kid, or enjoy the same movies or music as she does to feel close to her.

  • Embrace your child for who she is and develop with her a Family Culture where she can feel safe to be herself as well as honor you for who you are.

  • With a relationship founded in respect, communication and love, there will never be the feeling that you have nothing in common.

  • When you appreciate what you have in common, you can understand and honor your differences.

Read more about raising tweens and teens

Connecting with your kids: Strategies for tough conversations
How connection parenting makes child rearing easier
7 Books to read aloud with your teen or tween

Expose your child to the importance of Christmas charity

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Children everywhere look forward to the pile of presents under their tree come Christmas morning, but they may not even realize there are children out there who don’t have the same good fortune.

Children everywhere look forward to the pile of presents under their tree come Christmas morning, but they may not even realize there are children out there who don’t have the same good fortune.

Raise a Santa,
not a Scrooge

The true meaning of Christmas giving can sometimes be lost amid the flurry of wrapping paper, wish lists to Santa and endless gift giving and receiving. Help your child understand the importance of giving back — especially during the holidays.

Progressive giving

Kids today tend to be as tech-savvy than their parents. With this in mind, help your children contribute to ending world hunger with the simple click of the mouse at The Hunger Site, where sponsors will pay for cups of food for every click. Make it part of your kids' daily routine during Christmas — and beyond.

20 great ideas: Teaching charity to our children>>

Let your angel earn her wings

You can't go shopping anywhere from the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas without noticing a few strategically placed Angel Trees. Explain the concept of selecting a gift for a child in need, then invite your child to pick an angel and help shop for his or her requested gift. Allow your child to feel the warm and fuzzy feeling of doing good for someone else.

Have the talk: Teaching kids about charity>>

Give before receiving

Before Christmas morning, encourage your children to make room for his anticipated new toys by donating his old or no-longer-used ones. While it might be tough at first for your child to give away his old things, continue to explain the importance of giving to others who are not as fortunate.

Allow your child to see you donating your old items as well to help realize that giving back and helping others is an important part of your life too.

Salute the brave

If your children aren't already aware of the daily sacrifices the members of our military make, instill in them patriotism right along with Christmas charity. Give 2 the Troops collects Christmas cards, holiday books and movies, decorations, spiritual items and more, compiling care packages for members of the United States Armed Forces.

While it may be hard for your young children to understand the concept of the military, they will likely be able to relate to missing home if they were far away.

Teaching kids to make a difference in the world>>

Reach out to another generation

Spread cheer at local nursing home or hospitals by dropping off some cookies or fruit. Many residents of nursing homes don't have regular visitors — or any visitors at all. Call ahead first to determine if there are any dietary restrictions for the residents. Chances are, they'll be thrilled to have the company of energetic, giving children and your children will probably eat up the attention of some new "adopted" grandparents.

More on Christmas charity

6 Ways to teach kids to give at Christmas
Holiday and Christmas cards for a great cause
5 Holiday charity ideas for kids


Teaching kids to be gracious

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Worried your child is going to express dismay when she receives a pair of pajamas instead of an iPod from your great aunt? Help your children practice gratitude.

Worried your child is going to express dismay when she receives a pair of pajamas instead of an iPod from your great aunt? Help your children practice gratitude.

No more mortifying
gift reactions

Few parenting milestones are as embarrassing as the first time your child openly expresses disappointment when receiving a gift. Be comforted by the fact that you're not alone in experiencing this. Most kids struggle with expressing gratitude properly — and holding back on negative reactions to undesired gifts. This holiday season, do some prep work to avoid gift disasters.

Establish good habits early on

Start early and you're more likely to raise a child who won't fight you at every birthday and holiday when it comes time to write thank you notes. Teach your child how to write a holiday thank you note in an age-appropriate way, making sure your child is involved in the process from picking out thank you stationery to sticking stamps on the envelopes. As you work together, focus less on the actual gift the child received and more about how a thank you note will make someone feel, and how thoughtful it was of that person to give a gift in the first place.

Learn the do's and don'ts of kid thank you notes>>

Set clear expectations at gatherings

When a child doesn't express gratitude properly, it doesn't mean the child is bad or spoiled. Most kids don't have the social skills or perspective to understand gratitude on the level that adults and teens do.

Before a gift-giving event like a birthday or Christmas, explain the importance of being courteous... but be specific. Instead of telling your child to "be thankful," clearly explain and model the behavior you expect. And don't forget to thank your child and express your gratitude for his behavior! At holidays and birthday parties, give simple directions like asking your child to hug and thank a relative after opening a present.

Learn more about your kids through communication>>

Control the gift frenzy

It's not uncommon to witness a kid unwrapping presents at warp speed, tearing the wrapping paper off and barely acknowledging the gift before proceeding to the next. It's almost like children get in a frenzy when given a pile of presents. When kids are too young to slow down and express gratitude appropriately — and let's be honest, this is basically every age during childhood — you may need to take control of the situation. Instead of letting kids set the present-opening pace, offer gifts one at a time and don't move on to the next until your child has thanked the guest who gave the gift.

Prepare for occasional dismay

Gently role play the process of receiving a gift that isn't at the top of the wish list. Discuss how negative reactions can hurt someone's feelings. Come up with neutral ways to say thank you and work on holding back big negative responses. This will take practice, but your child will eventually learn to act appropriately, even if it takes her a while to truly appreciate the thought behind the gift.

More on gratitude

Parenting Guru: Raising grateful kids
Toy envy during Christmas
How not to raise a brat

5 Fun holiday staycations

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Sometimes the most fun can be had at home or close to it. If you're homebound this holiday, splurge on a fun staycation for the whole family!

Staycation at hotel

Stay at a hotel in your own city

You don't have to travel hundreds or even thousands of miles to feel like you've had a proper getaway for the holidays. Simply booking a hotel room even just a short distance from home can serve as a great vacation — sans the lengthy travel! Whether it's just you, you and your spouse or the entire family, breaking your regular routine can be relaxing, restful and reinvigorating. And you don't have to worry about making the beds!

See the local holiday sights

Put some hot cocoa in a thermos, wrap yourself in a festive scarf and head out for a day of seeing the local holiday sights in your town — whether it's ice skating at an outdoor ice rink, taking a holiday light tour, visiting Santa Claus or all of the above. Go to your city's official website to research fun holiday activities to participate in this holiday season right in your own backyard. By becoming a tourist in your own town, you can discover all sorts of new things in your area.

Have a seasonal spa day

Instead of a girls' night out, host a girls' day in! After all, Mama needs a break too! Transform your home into a spa for the day and invite the girls over for some homemade holiday pampering. Serve up peppermint-inspired cocktails while you enjoy DIY manicures, pedicures and facials — and temporarily forget about those looming last-minute holiday shopping lists.

How to create a DIY spa experience at home>>

Host a holiday-themed movie night

Pop some popcorn, make apple cider and have a holiday themed movie marathon with your family. Let each person in the family pick a movie to watch, get cozy in front of the fire and enjoy one Christmas movie after the next. This is a great way to share with your children the movies you enjoyed watching when you were a child. Do I hear a new holiday tradition in the making?

More movie night ideas >>

Party in the snow

Transform your backyard into a winter wonderland by hanging lights and getting some fun decorations for an outdoor-themed holiday party. Invite your friends and family over to roast marshmallows over the fire pit, drink something warm and enjoy being together during the holidays. Add even more fun by making holiday-themed costumes required , have a gag gift exchange and host a snowman building contest.

It might be your budget, it could be a lack of time or maybe you just don't feel like traveling. Whatever the reason for wanting to stay close to home, there's nothing wrong with a good, old-fashioned staycation during the holidays.

More about staycations

How to have a family staycation
Staycation ideas for family bonding
How to take a fun and restful staycation with your kids

Connecticut school shootings: How to talk to your kids about violence

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The school shooting story out of Newtown, Connecticut this morning has made us clutch our children tighter — or resist the urge to go grab them from their own schools. As we fight to process our own fear and horror of the still-developing situation, how do we talk to our kids about it?
Mother talking to daughter

The school shooting story out of Newtown, Connecticut this morning has made us clutch our children tighter — or resist the urge to go grab them from their own schools.

Dealing with major tragedy as a family

As we fight to process our own fear and horror of the still-developing situation, how do we talk to our kids about it?

“I will never let my kids out of my sight again.” If you’ve been on any sort of social networking site today, chances are you’ve seen the parents on your friends list echo a similar sentiment — and chances are you are feeling that way yourself. As the details are still developing, and the story gets more tragic with each passing hour, you yourself are probably struggling to deal with the tragedy. How on earth can you discuss the school shootings in Connecticut with your kids?

Keep the news off

First, even though you want to keep up-to-date on the events, try to keep your television off when your kids are around. The images and video can be really scary to a child. Keep updated on the news on your mobile device or via your computer.

Find out what they know

Open dialogue with your child about the event — have they heard anything about the tragedy in Connecticut? What did she hear from her classmates today at school? Also, ask how your child felt about the situation if she has already heard about it.

Don’t fib

Even very young children can pick up on your emotions, so if they don’t already know, don’t try to hide the story. If you do, they may think you are upset with them, for example, or that something is wrong with a family member. Share the events with them — the amount of detail you give is up to you, but usually younger kids need fewer details than older ones.

Allow feelings to be felt

If your child is scared, upset or angry, don’t try to talk him out of his feelings. Instead, acknowledge them and be there for him as he expresses his fear or anger. You don’t have to hide your own despair or tears, either — your children will learn from you that emotions, even intense ones such as sadness, are normal.

Reassure your child

Your child, especially an older child, will understandably wonder if something like this can happen at her school. This also depends on the age of your child, but younger kids can be more easily reassured with fewer details. For example, explain that these events are very random and unlikely to happen again. You can let them know about the safety measures their own schools have put into place. Tell them that the adults around them are there to help protect them.

There are no easy answers when an unspeakable tragedy such as this takes place, and as more details roll out, it may be some time before we can fully understand what happened. In the meantime, keep to your regular daily routine, let them know that their little world is a safe one — and hug your kids tight.

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How to reduce the stress of the holidays

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With the countdown until Christmas in full swing, your stress levels are likely out of control. But don't let this festive time of year freak you out. With a little planning and even some downtime, you'll be ready to celebrate the holidays... sans meltdowns!

With the countdown until Christmas in full swing, your stress levels are likely out of control. But don't let this festive time of year freak you out.

Eliminate last-minute holiday stress

With a little planning and even some downtime, you'll be ready to celebrate the holidays... sans meltdowns!

Be willing to delegate

If you are overwhelmed by the thought of staying up all night on Christmas Eve wrapping gifts for the kids, hire some elves. Surely teens in the neighborhood will want to earn a few bucks helping you out. Don't wait until the last minute to make your lists and check them twice. Meet with your helping hands in advance to see how you can all help one another out... because everyone needs a little help during the holidays.

Consider these other simple shortcuts for busy moms>>

Don't sweat the small stuff

Don't let freaking out over the minutia derail you from focusing on the big picture — and the real reason for the season. Whether you forget to buy a gift for your cousin's new girlfriend or neglect to put out the cranberry sauce for Christmas dinner, it's nothing to stress out about. The holiday season should be about enjoying the company of your family and friends, not worrying about every last detail.

Shop smart

Don't stress over last minute holiday shopping. Keep your gift list with you at all times in case you get a chance to swing by that new boutique in your neighborhood or the toy store across from your office. Don't overextend your budget — that will frazzle you even more. Comparison shop online to find the best deals.

If there's no time left for shopping, take advantage of late-night store hours to get your shopping done. You don't have to purchase something for every single person on your gift list. Combine individual gifts for married couples and families into one group gift instead. You can also create handmade gifts at home rather than buying something. Homemade Christmas ornaments or fresh baked goodies are always appreciated.

Read about these personalized handmade Christmas gifts>>

Simplify entertaining

If you have tons of relatives in town for the holidays, don't feel obligated to go all out with cooking and baking every day. It's easy to treat your family to a holiday meal out without spending a bundle. Try websites like RedPlum.com, Restaurant.com and Groupon.com to find restaurant coupons and gift certificates at discount prices.

Take some "me" time

Take some "me" time throughout the holiday season so you don't end up so stressed out that you start chucking gifts across the room and tearing down decorations on Christmas Eve. Schedule a pedicure or a massage at the salon a few days before Christmas — be sure to book in advance as these services are in-demand during the holidays.

If you can't get away for a splurge, treat yourself every night before bed with a soothing bubble bath or some relaxing yoga poses.

Check out these other stress-busting tips for busy moms>>

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Military moms: Sharing the holidays with a soldier

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The holidays can be tough when you have a child serving in the military; but these military moms share that their pride can outshine their heartache, even when the distance between them and their soldiers span oceans. However, this time of year is the perfect time for those of us back home to share your appreciation to the soldiers and their military parents, so take a moment to read their stories and send some thanks of your own.

Tracie Ciambotti, Bennett, Colorado

I am the mother of an Army staff sergeant. My life was forever changed when my son enlisted in the Army two days after he graduated from high school. It is a mother's instinct to protect her children. From the moment we feel the first movement as they grow inside us, we take on the role of protector. It is our job to keep them safe and to teach them about avoiding danger.

What happens to our basic instinct to protect our child when he or she is ordered to one of the most dangerous places in the world? The one thing that comes so naturally to us, which we have done with ease for 18 years, is suddenly beyond our grasp. Oh, we still feel the need, but we are no longer able to protect our children! Worse than that, we cannot know exactly where they are, what they are doing, or if they are safe, injured or even alive. What now? How do we get through the day? How do we survive?

My experiences as the mother of a soldier inspired me to help others. I co-founded a nonprofit organization, Military Families Ministry, which supports military families and I wrote a book, Battles of the Heart: Boot Camp for Military Moms.

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Audra Hamlin, Elmhurst, Illinois

My son Haden is in the Navy stationed out of Pearl Harbor in Hawaii on the USS Lake Erie. How do I feel having my son protecting our country over the holidays — proud! My son is an amazing young man who chose to serve his country because he felt it was something he needed to do — it was his calling. It may not be what I would have chosen for him or what I wanted for him but I have confidence in him and his decisions. He is happy. He loves his job and that is all we really want for our children.

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Angie Higa, Mililani, Hawaii

May 2004, our eldest daughter Sheena Higa joined the Air Force. Her decision to join the Air Force at age 18 was a very proud moment for her dad and I and our entire extended family. We were very proud and scared since she joined during the Iraqi war conflict. We all are truly proud of the many sacrifices she has made during her eight year career.

As a family, we faced our biggest fear when she was deployed to Afghanistan in 2009. As parents of a deployed soldier, we face sacrifices, too. I left my 30-year banking career to care for our only granddaughter, who was 1 year old at the time, during Sheena's deployment. It was a decision that we were able to make and blessed that we could financially afford to make.

In November 2012, Sheena left for her second deployment. The holidays are especially hard for Sheena and all the other soldiers who are away from their loved ones. The children of our military are affected too.

The holidays are especially hard for her and Sheena's two young daughters ages 5 and 2. Thank goodness to technology such as Skype and FaceTime and video messages. We are able to capture missed moments. And virtual hugs and kisses are the next best thing.

Discover tips for military moms: Parenting from a distance>>

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Michelle Manning, Watertown, New York

No matter the season, each day is the same; my heart bursts with pride for my son. His path in life I always knew would take him far from home and we would face many holidays with an empty chair at our table. Yet I find comfort in knowing that the memories of holidays past and our family traditions go with him, no matter how far away he may be. I humbly give my son to this great nation, with his strong convictions and unfailing courage to defend our liberty. I pray that He returns him safely when the day is done, the mission complete and peace prevails.

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Christina Ulloa, California

My son David is stationed at Kunsan Air Force Base and he's in South Korea. It is bittersweet. I am very proud of him and what he's doing for your [sic] country, but still as his mother I will always have concerns for his well-being and his safety — and he's so far away.

Thank goodness for Skype and my new phone so I can see for myself that he's OK when he calls two to three times per week. Now that he's been gone so long it gets a little easier but the holidays are always hard. So, whenever we see someone in uniform we try and go and say something to them in hopes that someone will do the same for him. During holidays past he has had friends with families close by who usually invite him to come to dinner, so he has been very fortunate. It also gives him the opportunity to give us a call and hear his voice over the phone. But, we know this time of year is hard for him too, so when we talk to him we try to assure him that he's not missing anything despite the fact we miss him so much.

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Nickie Shawley Somerset, Pennsylvania

How do I feel having my son in the United States Army? I am so very proud of his service, dedication, and commitment to his unit — the 1st Battalion, 187th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 'Rakkasans,' 101st Airborne Division . Just because we are in the midst of the holidays does not change that at all; however, it does intensify some of the other emotions that come with being an Army mom — anxiety, loneliness and the ever-present desire to have my soldier home.

Army moms think about their soldiers all the time, but the holidays seem to hold more 'triggers.' For example, seeing his special ornaments on the tree makes me wonder what he is doing now. Making cookies fills my mind with memories of baking with him in the past. Looking at his empty stocking simply brings me to tears knowing that he will not be there Christmas morning. Do I miss him? Yes! Would I ever ask him to give up his military pursuits? Never! No matter what time of the year it is, my heart will always be with SPC Phillip Shawley, but this year I am especially grateful that my son — along with many other service members — is standing guard so that families all over the United States can experience a peaceful Christmas. I respect his decision to serve at this time and will continue to support him all year long.

Check out these must-read tips for military families: Survival guide>> 

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Lynn Pipitone, California

I think about my soldier son serving in Afghanistan every few hours throughout the day. I wonder what he's doing, if he's warm and mostly if he's staying safe. When I talk to him I make sure I stay supportive and positive. I hang on every word he shares about his duties and his daily life. Christmas is a time for families to be together, make memories and enjoy family traditions, but this year an important piece of our family will be missing. We all want it to feel like it's just another Christmas but it's not. Adam's presence is missed so much.

I worry about him missing everyone at the holidays... we all have each other but he's alone... he does have his Army buddies. To bring him a little bit of 'home' on Christmas I sent a stocking with the same items he receives each year... so it seems familiar. It made me feel better, hopefully it makes him feel better too.

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Valerie Poteete, Las Vegas, Nevada

As a single mom, my bond with my son is very strong. We've been through a lot together. When he decided to join the military, I was nervous, but proud. At some point I realized I had just given my only child to a country I had never seen before. I knew it was there, but I hadn't seen it for myself.

When he made his choice to join the Air Force, I made my choice to move into a motorhome so I could see the country my son was defending. It's been an extraordinary adventure for us both.

So far he has been deployed twice. The first time was nerve-wracking because he had only two day's notice and couldn't share his location because he was on a special mission. Currently, he is on regular deployment in Qatar .

How I feel about him protecting our country during the holidays? I'm proud. Very proud. And excited for him as well. He has seen so many new and exciting locations; has had some amazing experiences. Together we get to share our solo adventures more like friends. I'm still his mom and he is still my baby, but it sure is awesome to see him grow in his own direction knowing I taught him well.

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Pam McMurtry, Kaysville, Utah

My son is in the Army and has been deployed three times at Christmas. Feelings are very tender at that time of year. My first impression was that there were people who hadn't gone to his baseball games, scout outings and school programs that were trying to kill him — that was hard to comprehend. It's painful to have a child in a place where you can't reach them to give them comfort and love. I sent him care packages every month, I really couldn't afford it, but it gave him so much pleasure to have little surprises and treats he loves from home. I missed him the most on his birthday and Christmas. His first year out was the worst — I didn't know if I'd ever see him again. We prayed for him daily, he was a gunner on a Humvee doing missions in Iraq. He said there were times that sniper fire would be kicking up dust all around him, but he was never hit. I thank God for bringing him back safely. He called as he was leaving Kuwait to come home — I cried all afternoon.

His second deployment was hard on him because he knew what to expect. After Christmas we figured out that we could Skype with him because he had computer access. When I saw him, he looked terrible with dark circles under his eyes. I had just read an article about the high suicide rate in the military and was very concerned for his well-being. We Skyped with him often to encourage and give him support and love. He came through it, but with PTSD. He and his wife were at our house on the Fourth of July, we were on the grass in our backyard watching the fireworks, he had to go inside and wait it out. He'll never complain, he's a good soldier and an asset to the military, but the wars have taken a toll on him; he has scars that we may never know of. We are very proud of him and grateful for his service to our country.

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Karen Clark, Watertown, New York

My two sons and one daughter-in-law are U.S. Army soldiers. Around the holidays I feel nostalgic. I like to remember Christmases past when the only desert discussed was the one in Jerusalem; not Afghanistan. This year, we will all be home for the holidays, but a deployment looms. My amazing children, like all soldiers, have volunteered to make sacrifices to make this world a better place. Pride, respect, anxiety and hope are the emotions I feel as my children protect our country during the holidays.

Even when you're not a military parent, you can still show your appreciation to other military moms with a few clicks of your mouse. Take a moment to send some thanks of your own directly to soldiers serving our country through the USO's virtual thank you card or send a holiday gift to the troops through the USO's wish book.

Read more tips for military families

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Veteran's Day photos: Military families
Help your child honor a veteran

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