Don’t let technology come between you and your family — use it to bond your family members together!

Bond over a night
of gaming

Plan a family video game night and use the game systems your kids love to create a night that brings you together!

These bloggers have all thrown the perfect video game-themed parties, and we’re sharing their great ideas with you. Have fun!

Set the scene

You can’t have a party without a few decorations! Before your family video game night starts, set the scene in your room. Michelle, over at The Purple Pumpkin, threw a Nintendo party and topped the room with a homemade Nintendo garland. As if that wasn’t enough, she enhanced the look by creating her own Starman hangers out of simple star cutouts.

She also made a health meter out of red heart napkins and an awesome display of Boo balloons, all finished off by store-bought Nintendo paper products and a scattering of action figures.

Feed the crowd

The most important part of any party is the food, so serve up a good spread for your family to enjoy. Make sure to make everything bite-sized and snackable, perfect for grabbing a quick bite in between turns.

Find out how to be the cool mom >>

The ladies over at Whirligigs Party Co. put together an awesome video game bash. They provided a huge spread of Nintendo-themed food, including adorable Starman cookies and piranha plant cake pops served in cups of green ice cream.

They also served up a healthier mushroom snack, made from balls of watermelon and chunks of cheese, all skewered together and served on sticks.

Learn how to start a family rock band >>

Bridget from Life’s a Party also threw a great video game party. She served up these fabulously easy chocolate Nintendo controllers, made easily with candy molds.

Quench their thirst

All that yelling and screaming that comes with video game playing is sure to work up a thirst in your family. Help them whet their palates with video game water bottles — like the ones Alexis makes over at Jaco’lyn Murphy. The wraps can be purchased through Etsy, but you could easily make them yourself with colorful paper and a printer.

Check out monthly rituals that keep the family connected >>

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Sometimes the best gifts to inspire the imagination aren't found at the store.

Create crafting bins

Set up crafting stations where kids can get creative with different art projects and craft activities. For example, create a "Make your own puppet" bin filled with colorful old socks, fabric scraps, ribbons, buttons, glue and other items for kids to create custom sock puppets. Put together another bin for collage or mosaic making. Place scraps of construction paper, old greeting cards, scraps of wrapping paper, paint chips and other supplies for your kids to make colorful collages, mosaics and other art work.

Plan mini field trips

Give your kids the gift of a family day each week. Take mini field trips to explore your city and surrounding areas. Be sure to plan nature walks where they can collect acorns, leaves, rocks, shells and other items. They can display their collections or put them to use in arts and crafts projects at home. Take advantage of free festivals and other activities for your family where kids can learn, explore and get inspired.

Make it a construction day

Encourage your children's imaginations and architectural skills by providing them with what they need to build and build all day long. Whether it's cardboard boxes for creating a house or wooden craft sticks and glue to build a mini village, you don't need much to get your child's creative juices flowing. From toddlers to tweens, all kids — both boys and girls — love to build and create.

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Want to start some family fun? Games get everybody involved in the action, and kids of every age are engaged and entertained when you play them together. It's a fun way to sneak in some learning too!

Gamewright's Feed the Kitty challenges little ones to protect their rodents and keep them from becoming a snack for the hungry kitty. It's a fast-paced dice game that requires no reading. The quick play suits a preschooler's shorter attention span while letting her practice counting skills. Also from Gamewright, Hisss is a simple card-matching game that helps kids with logic, color matching and pattern recognition as they build their snakes from colored cards.

What's Gnu? Your elementary-aged child will learn new three-letter words and gain confidence reading and spelling the ones they already know with this fast game from Thinkfun that brings on giggles. The game takes about 20 minutes to play. Another fun game for elementary-aged children is a cross between checkers and tick-tack-toe played on a vertical grid. Hasbro's Connect 4 involves some strategy as players try to block each other's moves in all directions.

Hit or Miss is another Gamewright offering that teaches quick thinking and strategy as players have a time limit to think up words to fit a category card they draw. When time is up, roll the dice and guess which words are on your opponents' lists too.

From Out of the Box, kids get an introduction to geography as they "travel" the African continent by plane, truck or on foot. 10 Days in Africa is a fun and exciting way for them to learn more about this exotic land.

Teens are challenged by the fast-paced game, Nymble, from Karmel Games that calls for creative vocabulary and critical thinking as players build as many words as they can out of nine randomly selected letters. They play against the clock and challenge other players' word pairings on synonyms, antonyms and homonyms.

From Hasbro, the classic game of Scattergories beefs up teenagers' brainstorming abilities, and because each round is uniquely different, this game holds its appeal and has real staying power.

The Game of Things is a fun and funny game for your next family night. Players write an answer to silly topics and try to figure out who said what. You'll laugh and learn as you guess which player provided the silliest answer to topics like, "Things you shouldn't do with glue."

Hasbro's Cranium Family Edition lets teams work together with a mix of activities — like performing wacky stunts and sculpting items out of "cranium clay"— in a laugh-fest that's great for teamwork. The family edition is kid-friendly, making it a popular choice for family game nights that include various ages of children.

More tips

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Fun themes for family game night

Action-packed video games are a fun and healthy choice for your next family game night. Choosing the right game gets your couch potatoes up and active, and everyone improves their fitness while they play and share the big-time fun!

Playground games

Playground games allow the family to play some classic schoolyard games in the comfort of your living room. Everyone can participate in tetherball and wall ball, and the whole family will have fun trying to take out other players in a fast and furious dodgeball competition.

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The latest gaming system

If there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that video games and teens go hand in hand. Every year the major gaming companies come out with the latest and greatest new gaming technologies. Talk to your teen to find out which new gaming system she's coveting and whether it will fit in your budget.

Even if you can't pick up a full-fledged system, consider a handheld gaming device or even a gift card for cell phone gaming apps.

For the adventurer

For teens who are always up to something, whether perfecting their skills on the half-pipe or gliding down the mountainside, a great tech gift is something they’ll get the most use out of. So while they’re out exploring, defying gravity and pushing their own limits, let them capture every moment! Video cameras that mount on helmets or snow goggles are up any dare devil’s alley. Liquid Image Apex HD snow goggles fit with most helmets and provide point-of-view accuracy , while Action Shot Camera HD mounts on handlebars, skateboards and helmets .

For the traditionalist

Home video game consoles and iPads may have surpassed arcades, but there’s something to be said for the functionality of the arcade-style cabinet. Even with all of the iPad's gaming features, having the optimum viewing angle and easy-to-maneuver joystick and buttons will give commanding control of the action and make gaming all the more entertaining. The iPad wirelessly connects to the iCade and is compatible with over 500 games. For the teen who loves retro gear, the iCade is a cool, hip and quirky gift that is sure to please .

For additional gift ideas

GoldieBlox: Engineering toys for girls
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Best electronic toys for preschoolers

For the music maniac

The perfect sweatshirt

The North Face has become a name every tween wants to wear. The perfect gift is the Glacier Quarter Zip . Available in six different color choices for both boys and girls, its functionality will guarantee they’ll wear it again and again. This fleece is the perfect jacket for warm fall and spring days, and provides extra warmth during cold winter months.

Study buddy

The Sports Stripe Grey Multi Lap Desk for boys or the Grafitti Neon Stripe Pink Lap Desk for girls is a great gift idea to help tweens get through their homework a little easier. The boys will love the collage of sporting equipment on the Sports Stripe and girls will appreciate the heart/peace sign decal on the Grafitti Neon. Perfect for writing, reading or using a laptop, these provide stability for any activity. A cool feature is its built-in storage compartment to hold all homework needs in one place. These lap desks will let your tween sit comfortably to get that homework done .

For additional gift ideas

Tech connect: Plan a family video game night
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Top 10 hottest toys for the holidays

Plan a regularly scheduled family fun night, and spend an evening doing an activity that everyone enjoys. Give your night some party flair: plan a game, a competition or a craft to work on together. Add in some special treats , gather the kids and start your fun tradition.

Classic games

Nothing gets the competition started like a favorite board game, so choose one that's appropriate for the ages that will be playing. Monopoly, Scrabble or Uno are all fun — and with a little parental help, even younger kids can be part of the action. Teach your kids charades, and make a list of topics they'll enjoy. Just divide into teams and start acting out the clues. No kid — big or small — can resist the fun of Twister! Spin the wheel and pretzel yourself to place hands and feet on the colored dots you draw. As each player takes a turn, the squirmy, tangled twist of arms and legs gets increasingly challenging until the pile of bodies collapses in a heap of giggles. This classic Hasbro game especially delights younger kids who can use their small size to their advantage to burrow under larger players and find their mark!

Obstacle Course

In warmer weather, an obstacle course is a great backyard activity, but it also works indoors for family night. You can adjust the physical activity to fit all ages and abilities of children — and time their runs through the course. Make allowances for available space, and clear out clutter and breakables before you begin. Think in terms of challenges that make participants jump, hop, crawl over and under objects, balance and move continuously. Hang a broom between two chairs for crawling under or stepping over, throw beanbags into a laundry basket, do a ring toss, do 10 jumping jacks, skip in place while reciting a rhyme, do a handstand and somersault from one place to another. Have players blow up a balloon before racing to a chair and sitting on it until it pops! Carry an object like a ping pong ball on a spoon to a designated drop-off, or crawl under a tunnel formed by a row of chairs. There are endless variations you can include in this activity.

Family crafts

Start saving cardboard boxes to use for creating crafty fun. Big boxes can be transformed into whimsical chairs — let everyone test their inner designer! Use fabric scraps, leftover wallpaper, craft paper and imaginative trims. Make a clubhouse and let the kids decorate interior walls and exterior surfaces with markers, paints and other embellishments attached with a glue stick. Save empty cereal boxes and have a contest to style some sandals! Have each person stand on the flattened cardboard and trace around their feet. Then simply cut out the "soles" and get busy decorating. Ribbon, rickrack or even string can make the straps. Fabric, carpet or vinyl scraps can be adhered with a light brush of rubber cement. It's hilarious fun to see what everyone creates!

More tips

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Holiday puppies

Your child has asked for a puppy for Christmas.

Before you head out to the pet store or your local breeder, you will want to really think the decision through.

What could make a sweeter holiday memory — Christmas morning, your child is greeted by an adorable puppy under your tree. A childhood of puppy love and your child’s best friend is sure to come, right? Unfortunately, Christmas presents that consist of live animals don’t always have a happy ending. Often, care for the pet is relegated to the parents, and sometimes the kids don’t maintain interest beyond the big holiday.

Timing

Experts strongly recommend that you do your research before buying a pet of any sort as a gift, especially for a big holiday such as Christmas. “In general, the holidays are not a good time for families to bring a new puppy into the family,” shared Paris Parmenter, author of Barkonomics: Tips for Frugal Fidos and co-publisher of DogTipper.com. “The excitement that surrounds the holidays— not to mention Christmas trees, decorations, and a disrupted schedule — makes this a tough time for a new pet in a new home.”

Choose together

Consider that if parents and children have an opportunity to choose a pet together, the chances of your child being more fully invested in its care is much greater. “If you bring your children with you to help pick out their new pets, they are more likely to feel a greater sense of responsibility for those pets and take a more active role in their care,” said Sandi Laird, the animal care director at Operation Kindness. "Some dog and cat breeds require more grooming or exercise than others; some are better with children than others; and some are more adaptable to change. Before adopting, parents should think about their family’s lifestyle and make sure the pet is a good fit.”

Alternatives

Specialty pet retailer Petco suggests if you do decide to introduce a pet as a gift to your child, to not leave it alone under the tree — this can stress out your newest family member and sometimes the animal can be mistaken for a toy. Instead, buy the essential pet care items, such as a crate, food and water dishes, brushes and shampoo and a few toys, and wrap them as gifts instead. Arrange to pick up or pick out the pet on a later, less exciting day.

“One fun idea is a ‘Pet IOU,’ wrapped as a gift, that can be given with books, videos, stuffed toys, and more to help children start learning about all that it takes to care for a pet and to start narrowing down the choices for a dog,” suggests Paris. This way parents and children can work toward the idea of pet ownership together and can decide what sort of pet would be ideal for the whole family.

Precious photo ops aside, a pet is a living creature that deserves care, love and attention. With a little careful planning, you can grant your child’s wish for a pet for the holidays as long as you research your options together and plan for an adoption date that does not surround the holidays.

More on kids and pets

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As Christmas nears, kids buzz with anticipation and literally count the days until it’s time to celebrate. This year, help them acknowledge each passing day with a traditional Advent calendar. Elaborate or simple, these calendars bring the family together to count down to Christmas.

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Don't go it alone

If this is your first holiday since the split and your ex has custody of the kids this time, don't spend the season alone. Rely on family and close friends to help you get through this tough time, suggests Susan Saper Galamba, divorce and family law attorney, author of Don’t Burn the Underwear and media personality. She adds, "Making plans to be with friends and family is essential. Surround yourself with positive people during the holidays and don't dwell on the divorce."

Maintain traditions...

Melody Bacon, Ph.D., chair of the Marriage and Family Therapy Programs at the Irvine, California branch of The Chicago School of Professional Psychology and author of the upcoming The Grace Filled Divorce, says it's important to maintain some normalcy for your children by keeping things as familiar as possible.

She says, "Try to maintain traditions that you have established with your children, within reason. For instance, if your children have typically spent Christmas day with your in-laws and their extended family, perhaps you can allow them to spend at least part of the day. Or you can spend Christmas Eve with your kids and allow them to go with your ex to see his family on Christmas day. Splitting time during the holidays is important to keep harmony and consistency in your children's lives as they adjust to the divorce."

... And create some new ones

Silvia M. Dutchevici, MA, LMSW, president and founder of Critical Therapy Center in New York, agrees with keeping some traditions for your children. But she suggests creating some new ones as well.

She says, "Think about this first year after your divorce as a chance to celebrate the holidays in new ways. Keeping certain traditions — like opening presents on Christmas day or lighting the Chanukah candles — is important for feelings of family continuity and security, while incorporating new traditions of your own gives everyone the feeling of a new beginning."

It's OK to cry

Dutchevici also suggests giving yourself and your children the opportunity to cry and express feelings. She says, "Allow yourself and the kids to mourn. A divorce is difficult on everyone, even in cases where the couple feels that this is the best course of action."

She continues, "Acknowledge your own feelings about the divorce and allow your kids to express their concerns and feelings regarding the first set of holidays since the divorce/separation."

Communicate with the ex

Open the lines of communication with your ex for the sake of your children this holiday, suggest Alan Plevy, family law attorney, and Kathryn Dickerson, civil litigation and child custody attorney at SmolenPlevy in Virginia. They advise, "Work together on scheduling exact times, etc. Talk about gift giving. Take your ex's desires into consideration when choosing a gift ."

More on dealing with divorce

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Hey, baby, it's cold outside... but that doesn't mean your family needs to hibernate! While popular outdoor sports like baseball are benched until the air warms again, there are plenty ways for kids to stay active in the winter.

The key to staying active in the winter? Make it a priority. There really are many ways to be active — both inside and outdoors — so find what works for your kids and go for it.

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You know you wouldn't hand your preschooler a mug of coffee, but is it OK to let your teen chug down caffeine-filled energy drinks?

Effects of caffeine
on kids

In a recent lawsuit, parents of a deceased teen are blaming Monster Energy Drink for the death of their daughter, but you may not need to ban your brood from guzzling these energy-boosting beverages just yet. From details of this latest lawsuit involving a teen to the effects of caffeine on kids, get the scoop on whether or not you should forbid your youngsters from sipping these pick-me-ups to avoid death by energy drink.

Lawsuit details

This jitter-inducing ingredient can be found in tons of fare from sodas to chocolate bars, but one family found that caffeine and kids can be a deadly combination. In October 2012, Wendy Crossland and Richard Fournier of Maryland filed a complaint suing Monster Beverage Corp. for the wrongful death of their 14-year-old daughter, Anais Fournier. The teen, who went into cardiac arrest after consuming two 24-ounce Monster Energy Drinks, died of cardiac arrhythmia due to caffeine toxicity according to the Maryland medical examiner's office. However, the autopsy report discovered that the girl suffered from a heart disorder — Ehlers-Danlos syndrome — which can make connective tissues weak. But, what about the average, healthy kid?

Discover cappuccinos for kids: the new trend for mini foodies?>>

Effects of caffeine on kids

Just like Mom and Dad, Junior can become jumpy after eating or drinking caffeine-infused fare. Categorized as a drug, the stimulant can be found naturally in the leaves and seeds of many plants or produced artificially and rouses the central nervous system. Lower levels of caffeine can make kids feel alert and energetic, but too much can cause nervousness, tummy trouble, headaches, difficulty concentrating and sleeping as well as increased heart rate and blood pressure. And, don't forget that caffeine can be dehydrating and addictive! A 24-ounce can of Monster Energy Drink packs in 240 milligrams of caffeine compared to the average 34 milligrams you'll find in a can of soda, so you shouldn't be surprised to find your kiddo zooming around the room after popping open a can of this pick-me-up.

How much caffeine is OK for kids?

Although the United States hasn't published guidelines for how much caffeine is safe for kids to consume, Canadian guidelines recommend that adolescents between ages 13 and 18 put a cap on caffeine based on body weight: No more than 2.5 milligrams per 2.2 pounds your child weighs. "In general however, I do not recommend that kids consume caffeine because it can have both acute and chronic effects on cognition and mood," advises Dr. Margaret McMahon, pediatrician at Loyola University Health System. "Side effects and the incidence of withdrawal symptoms increase with larger doses [of caffeine] consumed [by kids]."

Weigh in: Should kids be banned from buying energy drinks?>> 

Despite the latest lawsuit involving a teen, you can rest safely knowing that an average, healthy teen won't likely face death by energy drink when you monitor your teen's consumption. But, doctors still recommend that kids — teens included — get the energy boost they need through exercise and rest instead of Monster Energy. "While occasional exposure to small amounts of caffeine is not dangerous, it is not beneficial to children," explains Dr. McMahon. "Therefore, it is best avoided." Whether or not you gulp down caffeine is up to you!

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What you'll need:

What you'll do:

1. Use your pen to draw a dreidel shape onto a piece of felt. Cut out the shape with scissors, then use it as a template to trace the other dreidels for your banner. Cut out eight felt dreidels total.
2. Cut out circles, squares and triangles from various colors of felt.
3. Decorate the dreidels with the felt shapes. Use craft glue to glue the felt shapes in place.
4. Cut a piece of string approximately 6 feet long. Glue the dreidels to the string and lay them flat until they are completely dry.
5. Hang the banner and secure it in place with tape.

Brush up on your Hanukkah knowledge with these 8 Hannukah facts for kids>>

What you'll need:

What you'll do:

1. Glue three of the popsicle sticks together to make a triangle. Do the same with the remaining three popsicle sticks.
2. Turn one triangle upside down and set it on top of the other triangle to form the Star of David. Glue the two triangles together.
3. Paint the star blue and then allow it to dry completely.
4. Cut a 6-inch piece of ribbon. Tie it at the top of the star, then use the ribbon to hang it.

Looking for the perfect Hanukkah gift? Check out these 8 unique Hanukkah gifts for kids >>

What you'll need:

What you'll do:

1. Dip your child's hands in the blue paint.
2. Make two hand prints on the card stock, overlapping the thumbs to form the menorah.
3. Wash your child's hands.
4. Have your child dip his thumb in the yellow paint. Put a yellow thumb print at the top of each blue finger to make the "flame" for the hand print menorah.

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Discover tricks from real parents

Whether you have a special needs child or you're simply looking for ways to streamline the holidays for your family, these tips will help you with holiday gatherings and managing stress.

Parents of kids with autism are experts when it comes to tips and tricks for managing holiday gatherings. MyAutismTeam.com is a social network for parents to share the experience of parenting children with autism. Even if your child doesn’t have autism, you can learn from these holiday tips.

Find healthy recipes for picky eaters with autism >>

Schedule activities that play to your child’s strengths

As you plan your Christmas activities, structure them around your child’s strengths. The holidays aren’t a good time to try new activities or push your child into a situation that generally causes him distress. If your child enjoys visual stimulation, drive around looking at Christmas lights. If he’s very sensitive to noises, bring along noise-canceling ear muffs when attending events like parades and caroling. Don’t be afraid to make your own traditions that play on what your child loves doing best, such as messy baking or a quiet movie at home. Ask your local shopping mall if they have an autism-friendly Santa day scheduled. Many areas now offer events that cater to children on the spectrum.

Find out what to do if your kid doesn't fit in>>

Embrace flexibility as much as you can

Children with autism often crave strict routines. Routines can be soothing, can help avoid meltdowns and can help kids adhere to behavior expectations. Every child responds well to routines, and during the holidays, those routines are often shattered. With this in mind, pick your battles. A late bedtime or an activity you don’t always allow won’t be the end of the world. Try to stop and think about what’s worth stressing over and what you need to put your foot down over.

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When is shopping for gifts easy? When you’re shopping for children, it gets even tougher. Toss special needs into the mix, and some shoppers might throw up their hands in despair.

For years, my go-to gifts for kids and teens alike have been:

1. Cupcakes, or anything with “cake” in its name
2. Anything manufactured by Nerf
3. Gift cards, gift cards, gift cards

But now it’s that time of year, and as our children grow, so has the list of kids and teens for whom we want to buy presents at the holidays. Some children have special needs, and as Mom to a toddler with Down syndrome, I understand how meaningful the right toy can be.

Here’s an insider’s guide to finding the perfect, age-appropriate, skill-appropriate, fun toy for any child on your list.

Today, retailers provide even more specialized online content for children with special needs. Toys "R" Us began publishing its “Toy Guide for Differently-Abled Kids” in 1994, adding an online version in 2006.

Company founder Charles Lazarus spearheaded the creation of the guide after hearing from customers and store employees about the challenges of finding appropriate toys for children with special needs.

If you bristle at the idea of looking up gifts according to disability, it's nice to know Toys "R" Us's guide uses a personal approach to help choose the right gift.

Toys "R" Us says, “Because all kids are unique regardless of ability, toys are not categorized by disability; nor are they categorized by age. Instead, symbols are assigned to each toy so parents can find those that promote different skills, such as Auditory, Language, Social, Creativity and more.”

The guide also has a toy selection index that lists toys according to the skills they help develop, so parents can quickly find toys that most benefit their child's development and learning.

Toys "R" Us works closely with Lekotek, a nonprofit based in Chicago that has spent nearly 20 years focusing “on what the child with disabilities can do,” and “the needs of the entire family system that supports the child” to help children with special needs reach their full potential.

Lekotek recommends considering the following 10 characteristics of a toy when shopping for children with special needs:

For nearly 20 years, the National Lekotek Center has focused on using interactive play experiences, and the learning that results, to promote the inclusion of children with special needs into family and community life.

Lekotek also has developed AblePlay. Toy manufacturers can submit their toys to AblePlay for evaluation in four disability categories: Physical, sensory, communicative and cognitive. The organization then gives each toy a one- to five-star rating for each category and provides an extensive toy review including play ideas by disability category.

With this information, toy manufacturers then may list their toy with a link to a retail site on the AblePlay website for parents and professionals.

Nationwide, Lekotek has 17 locations within eight states that offer family play sessions, toy lending libraries, Compuplay family computer centers and other community-specific programs.

In Nebraska, Answers4Families has partnered with the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services to compile extensive resources for families, including a compilation of online catalogs and companies that provide toys and early intervention tools for children with special needs.

Feeling overwhelmed yet? Sometimes, the best way to choose a gift is to go with your instincts. While browsing Answers4Families.com, I noticed a company that makes dolls with the physical characteristics of a child with Down syndrome.

My son has Down syndrome, and my daughter loves dolls. In an instant, I had mentally checked off a gift from my Christmas list!

Read more about special needs

Moms of kids with special needs weigh work vs. staying home
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Teen pregnancy is not something parents wish for. Even if you are aware that your teen may be sexually active, news of her pregnancy will be shocking.

What she needs
from you now

Once you are over the initial reaction, how do you move forward and help? Parents need to know how to help prevent tragedies like the 14-year-old accused of killing her newborn baby.

The news story was sobering — a pregnant teen delivered her baby at home and strangled it because she “didn’t know what to do with it.” While two of her aunts suspected she was hiding a pregnancy, her mother remained in denial. Could this story have had a different ending if the teen had more support? When you suspect — or confirm — that your daughter is pregnant, she needs your support, regardless of how you feel about the situation.

Are teens playing it safe, or still taking risks? >>

What now?

So your daughter is pregnant — now what? Especially in the early stages of the pregnancy, emotions are high. This is a life-changing situation for your daughter, for your family and for the father of her baby. “Regardless of the complicated emotions that will most certainly arise during the pregnancy and once the baby is born, teens need parental support during this time,” says Katie Hurley, LCSW. “Without parental support, they are less likely to receive adequate prenatal care and maintain a healthy pregnancy diet.” It may be difficult for parents to step up and be supportive when they are upset, but this is crucial for your daughter and her baby. “Teen pregnancy is scary, isolating and can increase the risk for depression,” adds Hurley.

Dr. John Duffy has worked with many pregnant teens and their families. “I've found a few truths through these experiences,“ he shares. “Pregnant teenage girls do not need lectures about ‘carelessness’, ‘stupidity’ or ‘disregard for family rules or values.‘ I have witnessed a lot of this type of shaming from parents, and it makes things worse.“

Making your daughter feel the shame of her pregnancy — rather than dealing with the situation — does nothing to help her. What does help is to model good regulation on your emotions. “This is not to say that parents are not allowed their own feelings or disappointments,” adds Duffy, “but the bulk of the discussions should be warm, supportive and progressive in nature. I find that parents who are open and available can serve as trusted, badly-needed advisors to pregnant teens.”

Getting their facts wrong, clueless teens are getting pregnant>>

Moving forward

Teen pregnancy affects your daughter right now, but also has a major impact on her future. Plans for finishing school and going to college may be in jeopardy, and she needs guidance to navigate her future. “With parental support, they will be better prepared for the arrival of the baby,” says Hurley. “The fact remains that 50 percent of teen moms do not finish high school and teen moms are less likely to attend college. If parents work together with their teens to help plan for the baby, establish childcare and routines, and provide social support, those statistics can change,” adds Hurley.

A teen’s perspective

SheKnows writer Jessica Watson remembers her experience as a teen. “When I found myself pregnant at the age of 16, my parents were understandably very disappointed. It took time for them to process the news and all of the changes this meant for my life but they never turned their back on helping me reach my goals,” she shares. “They knew I needed to go to college and ultimately become a self-sufficient adult so they helped me make that happen.”

What does Watson think, now that she is the parent of a teenage girl herself? “I think not giving up on your teenager is the key,” she shares. “Letting them know you are there for them and they can still have a future even though it may be different than what either of you planned is the most important thing you can do as a parent.”

Teen pregnancy is something no parent wants to deal with. Talk to your teens often and keep the lines of communication open, so if your family is faced with a pregnancy you can provide the support your daughter needs.

More on parenting teens

Helping teens take responsibility for their health
Boost your teen girl's self-confidence
Encouraging healthy sleep habits in your teen

We are all guilty of over-analyzing our faults and shortcomings. Our daughters may not listen when we want them to, but they are listening to our inner critic. What you say about yourself portrays how you feel about yourself to your daughter.

Silence your inner critic for your daughter

Do you look in the mirror and complain of looking old or fat? Change your message while your daughter is forming her own self-esteem.

Raising strong, confident daughters is no easy task. Parents are constantly bombarded with the message that they need to boost their daughter’s self-esteem and empower her — but what about the moms? Many of us grew up in the generation before self-esteem was a big thing, and our inner critic has been quite vocal ever since.

What they hear

Remember when your kids were toddlers? The quickest way to get them to repeat something was to say it yourself. “Parents of toddlers often joke about silly little things that toddlers say at inopportune moments,” says Katie Hurley, licensed clinical social worker. “More often than not, the toddler is simply parroting the words of the parent — words that were not intended to be repeated. As toddlers become big kids and big kids grow into adolescents, it becomes imperative that parents watch what they say in the presence of their children,” Hurley adds. They are always listening, whether we realize it or not.

If your daughter constantly hears you exclaiming about how fat you are, how old you look or how wrinkly your face is, she hears two messages — how much you value physical appearances and how little you value yourself. “Older children and adolescents are likely to internalize the messages that they hear at home,” shares Hurley, “whether or not the messages are intended for them. They hear the complaints about weight, wrinkles or wardrobe and start to question their own appearance.” Adolescents with low self-esteem are at a higher risk for a number of issues, including depression, substance abuse, poor school performance, anxiety, eating disorders or self-harm.

What do your daughter's clothes say about her personality? >>

Change the message

Parents have a unique opportunity to encourage healthy, positive body image and confidence in their children from an early age. “Want your daughter to have a good body image? Do not talk about your own weight or dieting,” says Alexandra Kuykendall, mom and leader content editor for MOPS International, who speaks frequently to groups all over the country about the messages mothers send their daughters. “Make the goal a healthy lifestyle, rather than a clothing size or number on a scale. Help her see you work toward a goal, i.e. running a 10K race, where the emphasis is on health.”

As your daughter moves into her tweens, take advantage of opportunities you have to get physical together. Whether it’s a weekend hike or an organized bicycle tour, showing her that your bodies can do incredible things gives her a body confidence that’s not at all based on the number on a scale or how she looks in a bikini.

What if you could run a 5K with your kid? >>

What we say matters

It may be hard to change the message you send about yourself, but it’s worth it for your daughter’s sake. “Parents have the opportunity to instill a healthy sense of self in their children simply by taking a strengths-based approach to parenting and focusing on their own positive attributes,” says Hurley.

The next time you hear your inner voice making a negative comment, make a change. It may make all the difference for your daughter.

More on raising daughters

The importance of the father-daughter relationship
Reduce your stress by reducing your daughter's stress
Raising a daughter with high self-esteem

You never thought you’d be here, but you and your husband are in therapy.

Working on your marriage, in private?

You know the kids must be aware you’ve been struggling because they’ve felt the tension, witnessed some of the arguments. So the question is, do you tell them you’re in counseling?

Only 19 percent of currently married couples have taken part in counseling and a recent study of divorcing couples found that nearly 75 percent of them never sought counseling before divorce. So if you're in the minority of couples who are going — or thinking of going — most experts agree that it's not something you should hide from your children. Especially because they already know something is up anyway.

Don't hide it... because they already know there are problems

Psychotherapist and parenting coach, Tamara Gold says, "There is nothing to be ashamed about and hiding this could even make it look worse."

Family psychotherapist Fran Walfish adds, "Most children of any age, toddlers to teens, are comforted and relieved to learn that their parents are in couples therapy after the kids have witnessed fighting, screaming and arguing. It is extremely anxiety provoking for kids to hear their parents fight."

Walfish continues, "Hour after hour kids come into my office, throw themselves onto my couch, and cry about how sad, worried, and frightened they feel about their mom and dad yelling in front of them. Kids feel relief when they learn their parents are working with a professional to improve their relationship and save their marriage."

"Kids like to understand things and when shut out they could make things much worse inside their own head," adds Gold.

What is couples therapy and can it improve your marriage?>>

So how much do you tell them?

Experts agree that you should talk to your child about counseling in an age-appropriate way. For younger children, Gold suggests, "We are going to someone who is helping Mommy and Daddy learn to use their words," and for older children, she suggests, "we care about each other greatly and want to help be a better Mom and Dad and this person we are going to is helping us do that."

"It should be short, simple, positive and calming. You can tell your child that there is no school for marriage so every couple has to learn ways to talk to each other and even ways to fight with each other in a positive way."

"If I did not care for your I would not be going. And just like the best sports stars have coaches this person is coaching us to be the best partners we can be to each other."

All couples argue

Marriage and family therapist, Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill also adds an important point: "Ultimately we want our kids to understand about fighting and arguing and that some is normal for everyone. Also, it is good for them to see when Mommy and Daddy make up and hug!"

3 Signs you need couples therapy>>

You're modeling good behavior

"Telling your kids that you are learning to understand and talk about your feelings with each other so you can have a happier and more loving home is something to be proud of and a wonderful thing to model," says Jan Harrell, Ph.D. "When my daughter was young, I would conclude fairy tales in this way, 'Then married and went to live at his castle. They learned to talk about their feelings and problems and they had a good life!'"

More about talking to your kids about conflict in your marriage

How to explain to your kids why parents fight
How to fight fair in front of your kids
Should kids see their parents argue?

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