If you’re expecting a baby and plan to breastfeed, chances are you’ve heard one or more statements about nursing that simply aren’t true.

Expert reassures
new moms

We chatted with a breastfeeding expert to help allay any concerns you have about breastfeeding your baby and help you get off on the right start.

Breastfeeding may be natural, but if you hear a lot of misinformation, it can lead to problems that don’t need to happen. We were able to sit down with Amy Spangler, a certified lactation consultant and child feeding expert, to find out what the most common breastfeeding myths were and whether they had any truth behind them.

Pain and engorgement myths

Have you heard that pain and engorgement while breastfeeding is normal? A little bit of both is, but Amy warns that regular or excessive occurrences of either needs to be explored further. “If feedings are infrequent, delayed or missed, your breasts can overfill and engorgement can occur,” she explained. “And any discomfort should occur only at the start of a feeding and last only a few seconds. If the pain persists throughout the feeding, it can signal a poor latch.”

Getting help

If you have questions or concerns, contact a local lactation consultant. She can help you with positioning and latch. Some areas even have breastfeeding support groups where you meet with other moms and lactation consultants and get your baby weighed each week. If you’re feeling down, don’t give up without a fight.

More on breastfeeding

Why you should breastfeed your toddler
Breastfeeding: Why pumping or covering may not be an option
What are breastfeeding nurse-ins all about?

Thanksgiving means a huge feast, lots of football and — most importantly — a four-day break from work and school!

Make a break for it
this Thanksgiving

Opt for a non-traditional Thanksgiving celebration this year by packing up and getting out of town.

Visit distant relatives and friends

Thanksgiving is all about being with loved ones. So why not visit a friend or family member that you don’t often get a chance to see? Perhaps you have a cousin in New York or a great aunt in Australia who hasn’t yet met your kids. Make arrangements for a trip to visit a new city as well as rekindle a connection with loved ones over your Thanksgiving vacation.

Travel with kids: Planning a family vacation >>

Head for the hills… or mountains

Ban technology over Turkey Day by renting a cozy cabin void of television and free Wi-Fi . Use the four-day break without modern technology to bond with your kids — especially those tweens and teens who have their faces in their iPods and ears to their iPhones from the moment they get home from school to the time they turn in for the night.

Enjoy local skiing, hiking or biking or anything else the quaint mountain town has to offer.

Keep this is mind

Thanksgiving Day is one of the busiest travel days of the year at airports worldwide. If your travel plans include flying, try to make arrangements for less popular days and times to save money on tickets and time in the airport security lines.

Even if your travel doesn't include an airplane, roads and highways are likely to be more populated during these holiday vacation days. Be prepared for delays and allow plenty of time on the road or at the airport.

Make your getaway a new Thanksgiving tradition

Big holidays can cause a lot of stress for your whole family. Instead of getting sucked into the pressure of the perfect Thanksgiving meal, make the Thanksgiving getaway your new family tradition.

More on Thanksgiving

Non-traditional Thanksgiving traditions
5 Fun family traditions to start for Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving traditions: 9 Ideas for families

Unique baby names aren’t just for celebrities. When it comes to families living outside of the spotlight, many unique names have deep personal meaning and a story behind them. Discover true stories from parents who went off the beaten path when it came to picking a baby name.

Isla Ruth

Diane is mom to three kids. “I've never been particularly drawn to unusual names,” she says. “All that matters for me is that the name means something. When I was poring over name lists for my second baby, I saw the name Isla listed as a diminutive for Isabel. The baby was already set to have one of my grandmother's names for her middle name , and Isabel was my other grandmother's middle name. It seemed too perfect a way to honor them both to pass it up, even though the name wasn't even in the top 1000 the year I named her. ”

Sullivan

Charlotte shares the story behind her son’s unique name. “After my husband was born, the nurse asked what his name was, and his mom gave him two middle names,” she says. “But the names wouldn't fit in the space on the birth certificate so she left one off! But she still calls him by all the names. Sullivan is most normally used as a last name but fits him perfectly as his first name. We call it ‘Daddy's Secret Name.’”

Find more tough baby names for boys>>

Nova Lee

“Tradition is very important to me,” says Stephanie. “When I met my husband, we found that our families shared some delightfully atypical traditions. On my father’s side of his family, the first-born child has always had the middle name of Lee. On my husband’s father’s side of his family, each child was given the middle name of Lee. Growing up, the one constant in my life was my great grandmother Nova. She was such a strong person with such a great attitude about life. My husband and I knew that if we ever had a girl, we would name her after my great grandma. As we looked through the baby books, we found a delightful name, Nova, meaning, ‘small stars with bright bursts of energy.’ With our second child our family traditions took on a life of their own, Nova Lee.”

Rylan Isobel

Jennifer, mom to three, shares her story. “After having two sons, my husband and I were pretty confident that our third baby would be another boy. We were shocked and unprepared when our daughter was born. I quickly came up with the name Charlotte Grace , but when we brought her home my husband insisted she just ‘wasn't’ a Charlotte. We spent a couple of days searching baby books before we found Rylan and settled on it. I always thought we'd end up calling her Rylie, but seven years later, she's our Rylan Isobel.”

Find inspiration in these whimsical baby names>>

Ava Scarlett

Tracey, mom of two, wanted to give her daughter a strong name. “I just liked the sharpness of Scarlett, which felt bold and proud and present, if you know what I mean,” she says. “But, that's a lot for a baby to wear around in life, and I didn't want her to be a siren, or a stripper. ‘Ava’ out in front just made it sing better. And there are no more syllables than in, say, the name ‘Theodora’ so I don't find it too long at all. And if she decides to be called one of her names in the future, I wouldn't mind. I love them both equally.“

More unique baby names

50 Edgy baby names for boys
Exotic baby names and meanings
Creative baby name spellings: Good or bad?

A diagnosis of diabetes changes everything — for both the patient and her family. For parents of newly diagnosed children, diabetes presents a host of challenges that can feel overwhelming at first.

November is National Diabetes Month

Managing the treatment of diabetes when your child is home can be challenging enough, but what about when she is at school?

When your child is diagnosed with diabetes, there is a lot to learn about managing the disease. The sheer amount of information and training parents need to manage their child’s treatment is daunting. With approximately one out of every 400 children now affected by diabetes, chances are high that you will know a child who is diagnosed.

Check out these tips for diabetes awareness>>

Type 1 or type 2?

Type 1 diabetes occurs when the body’s own immune system destroys the insulin-producing cells of the pancreas. Without insulin available, blood sugar levels can rise and eventually cause damage to nerves and small blood vessels. Type 1 diabetes is most commonly diagnosed in people under the age of 20, but can arise at any age. This is the least common type of diabetes — affecting only about 5 percent of people diagnosed with the disease.

In type 2 diabetes patients, the body produces insulin, but either there is not enough insulin or their body doesn’t use it properly. This is called insulin resistance. About 90 to 95 percent of the 26 million Americans with diabetes have been diagnosed with type 2.

New site for parents

Sending your diabetic child back to school
can be stressful, especially when he is newly diagnosed. Disney — in collaboration with Lilly Diabetes — has created an informative site about type 1 diabetes that serves as a resource for parents and kids who are dealing with a diagnosis. This family-friendly site is a place with helpful resources, educational information and practical day-to-day advice about managing and living with type 1 diabetes. With careful planning and collaboration, parents can educate other adults who will be involved with their child on a daily basis so that they become part of the diabetes management team.

How it affects kids

Kirsten Schull is the mother of six children who have been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. She knows first-hand what difficulties children face when dealing with diabetes at school. “They go off to school every day, and they have to deal with it in their own way,” Schull shares. “A little child deals with it much differently than a 16-year-old. I have college-aged kids with it [type 1 diabetes] and it’s a challenge no matter what grade they are in.” She has partnered with Lilly Diabetes to provide information and tips to other parents who are learning to deal with the disease. “The Disney site is really helpful because I think parents feel isolated too, and they feel like they are alone facing this challenge,” she says. “There is a real sense of community on the site, and that community is really important for parents.”

The diagnosis can leave kids feeling like they no longer have control over their lives. “It makes the child feel that he’s never going to be normal again,” says Schull. “It’s true — he’s never going to have the same freedom that he did before. From that moment on, he’s never going to have his food un-monitored, his lifestyle un-monitored. Somebody’s going to be watching over him all the time until he’s an adult. It’s a difficult thing to adjust to.“

Tips for managing treatment

Teresa Pearson, M.S., R.N., C.D.E., F.A.A.D.E., is a certified diabetes educator and nurse. Her recent presentation at the American Association of Diabetes Educators meeting focused on the following recommendations in several key areas where parents often need additional information to properly manage their child’s diabetes.

• A recent study by the AADE has found that children experience more discomfort with injection than adults. Fear of pain and the sight of a needle can sometimes present challenges with insulin delivery. The use of new insulin injection options with a smaller needle can help to ease discomfort by reducing pain and calming injection fears.
• Parents should help children to practice injecting, which could include injecting saline into a stuffed animal or another person.
• Rotating injection sites can help to improve insulin absorption, but many children neglect to change sites often enough. Frequent site rotation is essential to avoid lipohypertrophy — the formation of a lump under the skin that can prevent complete insulin absorption.
• Parents should also take steps to educate caregivers and school personnel about a child’s needs and concerns regarding insulin administration.

Moving forward

After the initial shock of a diabetes diagnosis, parents need information and advice for managing their child’s needs and moving forward. The Disney/Lilly Diabetes site is a great resource for families who are dealing with diabetes.

More on dealing with diabetes

4 Steps to prevent diabetes in kids
The best diabetes cookbooks
Kids with diabetes: Tips to help manage the disease

With kids so plugged in these days, it can be a struggle to get them outdoors. Try introducing kids to nature on a very small scale by creating a dinosaur or fairy garden. Perfect for a large planter near a window or a special place in your vegetable garden, these fun projects will inspire little imaginations.

Start with the basics

The idea behind a fairy garden is to create a miniature landscape for imaginative play. Before you begin putting the garden together, you need to decide where you’re going to set it up. If your winter seasons are harsh, you may want to use a large planter inside. However, this can be messy. If your seasons are mild, try creating the garden outside. A large planter, such as a tin trough, is a good bet if you have toddlers who can belly up to it for playtime. You can also use an area of your existing landscaping or garden. Just separate the play garden from the rest of the yard with small landscaping dividers or bricks.

Try one of these 4 messy outdoor crafts for kids>>

Find garden props

Depending on your child’s interests, the miniature landscape you create can be populated with all sorts of toys and knick-knacks. Traditionally, fairy gardens were created to resemble little huts and villages where invisible fairies lived “in the wild.” Not every child is fascinated with magic and fairies. Let your kids guide you. Dinosaur gardens for plastic toys are a common alternative, but you can also create a jungle landscape for action figures or small animal toys. Get your kids involved as you choose the props. Anything from a dollhouse table to smooth river stones can be used as tiny props in your play garden.

Choose small and hardy plants

A dinosaur or fairy garden is a miniature landscape. With this in mind, choose plants that resemble larger plants. For example, a tiny succulent may resemble a large tree. Avoid plants that require a lot of maintenance and care. You should also avoid plants that break easily and plants with sharp thorns or spikes. Aeoniums come in a huge variety of shades and can generally be found for under $5 at your local garden center. If your climate is nice and sunny, try varieties of miniature palms or snake plants. If you’re not familiar with succulents, visit your local nursery and talk to the staff about your garden plans. They will direct you to child-friendly varieties and you can get a feel for the textures and consistencies of the plants.

Discover 4 wine cork crafts for kids>>

Build the garden together

This is the fun part. When you’ve gathered your container, soil, plants and props, it’s time to construct your miniature world. Try covering old bowls to make little hills on the landscape. Stack rocks and make stepping stone paths with smooth, flat stones. Ask your kids to gather twigs to make fences and “fire pits” in the garden. Decorate with tiny cloth remnant banners or small wind chimes. Keep it very simple if your kids plan on staging some dinosaur battles or off road car races on the terrain. Don’t forget to take pictures when you’re done.

More crafts for kids

Family fun: Bring out your inner artist
How to make sock puppet dust buddies
The importance of play

That glorious moment of peeing on a stick and getting the answer you crave. A positive. Two lines. Or in some cases, a plus sign or a digital “yes” or “pregnant.” Have you ever wondered how anyone got the brilliant idea of an in-home laboratory test?

Long, long ago

The first recorded pregnancy tests were discovered in ancient Egyptian texts dating back to 1350 BCE. A woman who suspected pregnancy was to water seeds of barley and wheat over a week or so. The text states, “If the barley grows, it means a male child. If the wheat grows, it means a female child. If both do not grow, she will not bear at all.” They may have been on to something — later testing revealed that 70 percent of the time, a pregnant mom’s pee will show growth, whereas the urine of a non-pregnant woman would not.

Hormones and bunnies

In the 1890s, scientists were describing certain “secretions” within the body that they felt were crucial to our inner workings — later to be known as hormones. In the 20s, scientists in several countries were independently observing that when the urine of pregnant women was injected into immature mice, rabbits, frogs and toads, it would create changes in the animals’ ovaries . Thus began the phrase “the rabbit test” — the rabbit was euthanized and dissected to determine pregnancy, because the hCG present in a pregnant woman’s urine induced ovulation in these critters.

It gets more complicated

In the 1960s, there was even more research done and a “hemagglutination inhibition test” was developed. This sounds terribly complicated, and it was — it was a lab test that used purified hCG that was mixed with a urine sample along with antibodies directed against hCG. If a woman was pregnant, the red cells clumped together in a particular pattern.

And then more simple

Pregnancy testing became easier for users in the 70s, with a test that would display results in as little as two hours, and would even work as early as four days after a missed period. Yes, it was still required to be run in a laboratory by a trained technician, but things were approaching home use faster than ever before.

The first pregnancy test marketed in the United States for home use was e.p.t. — a brand that is widely known and still used today. This year marks the 35th anniversary of the e.p.t. home pregnancy test — it was introduced in 1977 and had quite a number of ingredients in each package. An advertisement that ran in Mademoiselle that year reported that it included “pre-measured ingredients consisting of a vial of purified water, a test tube containing, among other things, sheep red blood cells… as well as a medicine dropper and clear plastic support for the test tube, with an angled mirror at the bottom.”

Bringing this laboratory test into the privacy of the home allowed women to learn sooner, and in the privacy of their own home, the potentially life-changing news that she was expecting. It also helped her make changes earlier, if needed, to her lifestyle — such as improving her diet or quitting smoking.

Today

Today’s pregnancy tests have advanced leaps and bounds from this early home pregnancy test — and e.p.t. continues to offer home pregnancy tests, but with nothing to mix, no two-hour wait and no high price tag. You can get simple and accurate pregnancy tests for as little as one dollar on some brands, and you can get even cheaper tests over the internet. They can often detect pregnancy several days before a missed period, and only take minutes to tell us the answer.

The first digital tests appeared in 2003 and we can only imagine how much easier, cheaper and faster pregnancy tests will be when our children are having babies.

More on pregnancy testing

4 Tips to consider before taking a home pregnancy test
How to take a pregnancy test
Top 8 signs you are pregnant

When to take the jewelry out

If you have your navel pierced and get a positive pregnancy test, you may wonder what the heck to do now.

We talk with moms who have "been there, done that" as well as professionals in the body piercing community about when it's best to remove the jewelry, if at all.

Your navel piercing has healed well, but now that you’re expecting a baby, the question pops up — when do you remove the jewelry, or do you need to at all?

Potential issues

If your piercing is a new one, you run the risk of the jewelry rejecting if you’re pregnant, simply because your body is trying to heal a piercing and grow a baby at the same time. Rejection happens because your body recognizes that your new jewelry is foreign and, as it would a splinter, it seeks to rid itself of it. And navel piercings can take up to 12 months to heal, so keep that in mind as you consider your options.

As your belly grows, migration is another issue that can crop up. Your uterus will, by around 20 weeks, climb to the level of your navel, and continue its path upward and outward, putting pressure on your jewelry. Many, if not most, moms report that their belly button eventually pops outward by delivery day, so you can imagine the force behind your belly button as your baby grows bigger each week. This puts pressure on your jewelry, potentially causing it to gradually be pushed out of its original path and head on a new, crooked mission.

Body piercings a parent can be proud of>>

Took it out

A large percentage of the moms we spoke to decided to go ahead and remove their piercing. “I retired my navel piercing way before I needed to, at about 12 weeks,” shared Jackee, pregnant with her first child. “I knew its life was coming to an end and just wanted to get it over with, so I took it out as per my husband’s advice. He was a piercer for five years and had a very clear stance on it: ‘Take it out so it doesn't get a chance to get angry, and repierce it later on if you want.’ I'm really glad I took it out; now at eight months pregnant the scar tissue is red and usually angry and sore. Trying to save it would have been more trouble to me than it was worth.”

Find out how to stop stretch marks>>

Left it in

Some moms decided that since their piercings were totally healed, they’d take it one day at a time to see if they could leave it in. “I left mine in through my entire pregnancy, with the same jewelry,” explained Lexi, mom of one. “It never caused me any problems. I only had it removed about, oh, one minute before my emergency C-section because I was being put completely under anesthesia.”

The bottom line

The usual advice is to either go ahead and remove it, or monitor it closely if you decide to leave it in. Visit your body piercing professional if you notice any rejection, migration, redness, swelling or unusual discharge — and keep in mind, infection can happen even in a piercing where the jewelry has been removed.

More on pregnancy

The truth about back pain during pregnancy
Better sleep tips for pregnant women
5 Embarrassing pregnancy sex questions answered

When baby is early

November 17 is World Prematurity Day. One in eight babies born in the United States arrives early, sometimes for no known cause.

Learn how to prepare if your little one is born too soon, and how to get through your baby's subsequent hospital stay.

When I was expecting my first child and looked about to pop, I remember patting my burgeoning belly as I reassured my boss, “Oh, I have a feeling about this one. I think he’ll take his time.”

As I lay on the ultrasound table at 32.5 weeks’ pregnant, listing items I wanted my husband to fetch from home since I was about to be admitted to the hospital, I realized my preemie son, Charlie, was my new boss. Timing was entirely up to him, from that moment on.

Prematurity is defined as birth before 37 weeks’ gestation. In the United States, one in eight babies is born prematurely, according to the March of Dimes. Any number of conditions can cause premature birth, and as many as 40 percent of premature births have no known cause.

Meet Grant, 1 pound, 15 ounces

Jennifer was 23 weeks’ pregnant with her son, Grant, when her water broke without warning or known cause. She spent the next two weeks in the hospital. Grant arrived at 25.5 weeks, weighing 1 pound, 15 ounces. He was 13 inches long.

Over the next 96 days, Grant clung to life in the neonatal intensive care unit , while Jennifer and her husband, Greg, clung to what Greg describes as “the dream of bringing Grant home from the hospital, just like most normal parents get to experience.”

“We spent a lot of nights crying ourselves to sleep,” Greg says. Looking back, Jennifer believes “ignorance was bliss, and kept me from really understanding how grave the situation was.”

The couple did what they could to surround Grant with love, filling his isolette with pictures of themselves and recording children’s books for the nurses to play for Grant when neither parent could be there.

U.S. preterm births drop

Jennifer and Greg's story isn’t unique — and neither is their success. “Grant is super,” Greg reports. “Amazing and so smart!” Jennifer adds. At 7 years old, he shows no development issues.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the U.S. preterm birth rate peaked in 2006 at 12.8 percent, after rising steadily for more than two decades. It dropped to 11.7 percent in 2011, the lowest in a decade.

Prepare for preemie

Myra Wick, M.D., Ph.D., is a specialist in the department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. Dr. Wick co-wrote Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy and is mom to four children.

In Dr. Wick’s experience, expectant mothers are surprised most often by complications that can arise from a premature birth, and the length of time the baby may need to remain in the hospital.

If you know your baby will arrive early, Dr. Wick advises touring the NICU and meeting with the neonatologists. “Ask questions,” she urges. “And don’t be afraid to ask more than once if there are lingering questions you don’t fully understand or don’t remember everything discussed.”

I was admitted on a Friday afternoon, and Charlie was born Tuesday morning. Over the weekend, my husband and I toured the NICU . I’ll never forget the compassionate NICU nurses and the neonatologist who sat by my bedside, patting my hand and reassuring me through my tearful fretting.

Surprising lessons

Over Charlie’s one-month stay in the NICU, we learned more than we ever wanted to know about Bradycardia, chest tubes, feeding tubes, kangaroo care and breastfeeding .

One of the most surprising lessons was how to touch our preemie. A mother’s first instinct is to caress her newborn child, but for a premature baby, that type of touch may provide too much stimulation. We learned that a gentle, steady touch was best.

We also learned that eye contact can provide too much stimulation for a preemie. It was strange to realize, but that tiny baby is taking so much in, that direct, prolonged eye contact can cause sensory overload.

It was difficult to look away, but I remember feeling an overwhelming calm as I kept my face expressionless and averted my gaze from Charlie’s tiny, blinking eyes. It was something I could do for him when otherwise I felt helpless.

World Prematurity Day

November 17 marks World Prematurity Day. The Prematurity Campaign was launched in 2003 by the March of Dimes, a nonprofit working to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality. The March of Dimes also funds research and advocates for legislation to improve care for mothers and babies.

In 2008, March of Dimes expanded its campaign globally, and this year the organization invites you to post on its Facebook page a story about a baby born early.

Have you been affected by a premature baby? Share your story below and help new parents of preemies know they aren’t alone.

Read more about prematurity

Birth age vs. developmental age
Benefits of kangaroo care for preemies
Advice for navigating the NICU

Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton

After Life & Style splashed a photo of Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton on the cover with the title “We’re having a baby!”, the couple took to Twitter to clear up the rumors — in a way only they can!

“Wow! I just read the headline! 'We are having a baby' yay! Blake Shelton, we're getting a new puppy?“ Lambert tweeted.

“Either that or Reese had my baby... I'm confused too!!“ Shelton tweeted back, referring to the fact that the Life & Style cover also had Reese Witherspoon with her new baby Tennessee. “Look, I know I've gained some weight but the test was negative!“ Shelton joked.

“Blake you can't do this to us. Is she pregnant?“ one follower tweeted.

“I hope not... She's passed out with a bottle of Bacardi in her hands!“ Shelton joked.

“Don't believe everything you read!“ Lambert tweeted. “I'm having a big 'randarita' right now in honor of the baby we are not yet having!“

In case you are wondering, a “Mirandarita” is her signature drink made of a shot of Bacardi, Crystal Light raspberry lemonade and Sprite Zero.

So, no baby yet — but perhaps this country couple plans on starting a family in the future?!

Giuliana Rancic

“Exciting day Monday!” tweeted Giuliana Rancic. “After 3 amazing months on maternity leave, I'm back on @ENews...and with a new co-host @TerrenceJ!!!”

After struggling with infertility and battling breast cancer, Rancic and her husband Bill Rancic welcomed a baby boy named Edward Duke via gestational surrogate.

“Special Sunday for me & @BillRancic...Baby Duke is getting baptized!!! He looks like an angel in his christening gown.#specialday” tweeted Rancic.

Rancic also took to Twitter to send love to her friend, Brooke Burke, who recently announced she is battling thyroid cancer. “Sending love and best wishes to my friend @brookeburke. Call on me if u need me...I'm here for you,” she wrote.

Like we had any doubt that baby Edward would have a great wardrobe, Rancic tweeted: “Ok, seriously??? @SplendidLA has such cute clothes for Duke! Oh, and don't think mom didn't pick up a few things:) #loveit”

Tamera Mowry

Tamera Mowry welcomed her first child, a baby boy named Aden John Tanner, on November 11.

“Thnks for all the love and well wishes. @adamhousley and I are very overjoyed with love and feel so blessed. Being a new mommy ROCKS!” tweeted Mowry.

The Sister, Sister star also shared an adorable photo of her baby boy, tweeting “Chillin with my grandma Darlene today! She hooked me up with a cool outfit!“

Mowry’s husband, Fox News correspondent Adam Housley explained the meaning behind his name, tweeting, “Aden John Tanner...he has two middle names. A for me. T for Tamera and John..our fathers middle names.”

Kourtney Kardashian

“The rare hour in my house when all I hear are the breaths of my sleeping angels,” tweeted Kourtney Kardashian, who is mom to Mason and Penelope.

“A little alone time,” she later tweeted, with a link to a photo of her and Scott Disick at the beach with Mason.

“Scott and I took Mason to the beach for a little alone time with us. He is such a little beach boy. I really do love that in Miami you can go to the beach any time of the year and it's so beautiful. On our way leaving the beach Mason said 'Goodbye beach! Thank you for a wonderful day!' He melts my heart.”

Tori Spelling

“Prepare yourself for… MOMS GONE WILD!!!!” tweeted Tori Spelling, with a link to her blog where she writes about how difficult it is for her to leave her kids and have a date night.

“Hello, my name is Tori, and I'm a Kid-a-holic. It's true. I have real issues leaving my kids. Because of my issues Dean and I rarely go to parties, dinners, a date or anything adult driven. Seems that if there's not a kid’s menu, I'm not interested,” she wrote.

“Four constant offspring voices is like white noise to me,” she writes, referring to her four kids. “ It's my comfy zone. But, after two years of back to back pregnancies and four beautiful but loud babes later my husband and I probably could use a night to ourselves.”

She shared cute photos of her night away from the kids with her husband Dean as they attended a friend’s wedding in Santa Barbara.

Check out photos here of baby Finn's vintage, giraffe-themed baby nursery>>

Go Tori! You need a night away every now and then!

From Gwyneth Paltrow to Beyonce, check out more sweet, wild and whacky celebrity mom tweets>>

Photos: WENN

Between the kids, the pets, you and maybe even your significant other, there are a lot of dates, times and deadlines to keep track of. That's why it's so important for moms to have an agenda that really speaks to them.

The right agenda for your busy mom life

Should you go paper or app? And what agendas are best for your family's busy schedule?

Mom calendars, family calendars, agendas for mom... there are so many options for keeping your life organized. When you are seeking the right solution for you, it's key to find one that really fits you.

"Many times, when people struggle with time management it's because they are using the wrong tools. With the instant availability of so many productivity apps, we feel pressured to use one of the many digital to-do lists out there. While these may work for many people, the most important quality of a time management system is that it works for you," says productivity expert Emily Schwartz, author of The Time Diet: Time Management for College Survival and the soon-to-be-released The Time Diet: A Recipe for Time Management.

We might have smartphones, netbooks, tablets and Wi-Fi, but for some, paper planners just work better. "Some people enjoy the freedom of a paper agenda. With just the stroke of a pen, they can circle things, star things, cross things out, or write in the margins, without being limited to the programing of the app," says Schwartz. If that's you, just go with it.

We've come a long way from the days of Palm Pilots. These days, electronic planners are fast, easy and sync easily with all our devices. Plus, they are packed with features. "Digital calendars offer the ability to sync with multiple devices, sound alarms when tasks are due, and collaborate with other users," says Schwartz.

What's right for you?

The bottom line in planners is that you have to choose the device that's right for you. If you prefer paper, that's OK! Stick with it. But if the features and syncing of electronic organizers suit you better, then go with it. "You will get more done if you are constantly reminded of what you should be doing. That is the purpose of the agenda. It helps you remain mindful," says Katie Hughes, Ph.D., founder of Dance Yourself Fit, LLC and the inventor of Slip-On Dancers, a product that converts running shoes into dance shoes.

More on organization

Easy ways to keep your car organized
5 Organizing tips for working moms
How to organize your family in 2012

You encouraged abstinence, but your daughter has chosen to become a sexually active teen. She’s too young to become a mother — so what’s the best birth control option for her?

Birth control for teens

She wants to talk about it… with you

“Teens say they would be far more likely to avoid teen pregnancy if they were able to have open, honest conversations with their parents about sex and birth control,” says Bill Albert, chief program officer at The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

“When it comes to your child’s decisions about sex and birth control, you are far more influential than you think,” says Albert. “Teens consistently say that parents — not peers, not partners, not pop culture — most influence their decisions about sex.”

Boston public health consulting firm JSI conducted studies which explored birth control and unintended pregnancy. “Two key messages came out of these studies,” says Yvonne Hamby, project director for the studies:

1. Adolescents want information about making healthy choices if they decide to become sexually active.
2. Their parents and health care providers are their most trusted sources of information.

“If you're a parent, talk about sex with your kids,” says Hamby. “It all starts with one conversation.”

You’re not sending a mixed message

“The teen pregnancy rate and the teen birth rate have declined by more than 40 percent since the early 1990s,” says Albert. And the decline is due to the “magic combination of less sex and more contraception.”

As a parent, you can strongly discourage your teen from having sex while also providing her with information about contraception. This is not a mixed message. In fact, “teens say this message is quite clear,” says Albert.

Best contraception for teens

“Encourage abstinence as the only certain way to avoid pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections,” says Hamby. “But if your daughter does choose to become sexually active, provide her with information so that she can choose a contraceptive method that matches her lifestyle and protects against STDs.”

Forty-two percent of teens ages 15 to 19 are having sex, and eight of 10 teen pregnancies are unintended, and now the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists is recommending long-term birth control options for sexually active teens.

In its September 2012 update to guidance regarding teen birth control, the ACOG listed IUDs and hormonal implants as “first-line recommendations” for doctors whose teenage patients are seeking contraception.

Long-acting reversible contraception is more invasive than the pill and must be put in place by a trained medical professional, but it is more than 99 percent effective. LARC is recommended for adolescents to help decrease the teen pregnancy rate “because they don’t rely on your daughter’s compliance,” says Hamby.

Don’t forget the condoms

It is extremely important that your daughter protect herself from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. The ACOG stated that condoms — in addition to recommended birth control methods — be used at all times to prevent AIDS and other STDs.

A single sexual act with an infected partner can result in the transmission of a disease. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention explains the correct way to use condoms.

Read more about teens, sex and pregnancy

Are we glamorizing teen moms?
Sex Facts: Clueless teens are getting pregnant
Reality Teen Mom versus teen mom reality

When I learned my unborn son, Charlie, had Down syndrome, I was working full time doing PR for a Fortune 50 company and just days from marrying my soulmate. I huddled alone in an empty office, listening to our genetic counselor share the news.

In those first few moments, I felt blindsided. A friend at work hugged me while I cried and whispered my overwhelming fear: “But I have no patience. How can I do this?”

Two years later, I realize I should have been praying for organization skills instead of patience.

Constant chaos, constant guilt

Things are much easier now, but the first year of Charlie’s life was constant chaos. I was a first-time mom who returned from maternity leave to dive into brand-new responsibilities.

The resulting zip-line through each work week was exhausting.

Three days a week, I had Charlie’s therapy scheduled first thing in the morning, so I could participate and then dash into the office. I was determined not to be one of those parents who shoves a child into the hands of a therapist and takes an hour off from parenting.

We had play therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy and speech therapy. My child may have Down syndrome, I thought, but by God he is also going to have every helping hand along the way!

Five days a week, I made deals with whatever devil was causing 5 p.m. requests from colleagues and 6 p.m. traffic — both keeping me from getting home by 5:30 so our nanny could have dinner with her family.

Most nights, I logged onto my laptop and tried to stay ahead of a growing to-do list. Some nights, I actually made progress.

I was a mess. I knew it, and everyone around me saw it but pretended it would get better. They wanted me to succeed and I wanted so badly to be able to do it all. To have it all.

Cheating my children

Then I learned I was expecting my daughter. As gestational diabetes kicked in and my legs and ankles swelled to beach ball proportions, I recognized I had chosen my priorities poorly. I had been cheating Charlie, my unborn daughter and my career by trying to juggle each equally.

Today, thanks to company leadership that is willing to think outside the standard-issue 9-to-5 career model, I have regained confidence in both my mommy skills and my work skills. A part-time job share allows me to dedicate a full weekday to Charlie’s therapies, keep up with laundry and actually put dinner on the table without using a takeout menu.

I spend half my week in yoga pants and a pony tail, and the other half in business casual that, by comparison, feels like prom wear. It is the perfect balance — for me.

Every woman in America has heard the rally cry to “have it all,” but what’s life like for those women who have a child with special needs? Is it harder to have it all? Or just different?

Next: Another mom's decision

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Passion for career and family

Corey Coggins has three children under age 6, and her oldest has Down syndrome. Corey works full time because for her, being successful shows her parents that all the hard work they poured into giving her a debt-free college education was worth it. “They gave me more than they had at my age,” she says. ”A gift I want to pass on to my children. So I work.”

But balancing passion for a full-time career as compliance director at an investment bank and passion for her three beautiful children takes organization — across time zones, sometimes.

“From the beginning, I managed my daughter’s therapy, feeding schedule and nurse visits like a business. Scheduled, created spreadsheets for feedings prior to heart surgery, kept notes on her many visits and looked for the improvements we needed.”

Corey concedes she’s not just a type-A personality, “I'm the ‘A+’ personality. Those crazy driven people who like to have control, who need to be uber organized, who can drive themselves crazy trying to get more done in less hours, who create endless lists, who strive to ‘have it all.’”

“I love my job,” Corey says. “[But] 12-hour time zone differences are a constant issue. Throw a child with special needs in this mix and presto the A+ type kicks it into A++ gear.“

A supportive job is everything

Every day brings an unexpected challenge. Right now, Corey has a to-do list for her daughter’s new kindergarten teacher, who has little experience teaching children with Down syndrome.

“That means this working mom has to pull together educational materials for the teacher, websites she can reference and learn how to teach my daughter how to read. All after the markets are closed, conversations with the other side of the world are complete, and my kids have had my undivided attention for the early evening.”

Corey credits a flexible work environment that supports sometimes unpredictable scheduling dilemmas, from weekly therapies to out-of-town specialists and an emergency hospital stay when her daughter developed pneumonia last year.

“’Mom guilt is alive and well,” she says. “I work extra hard out of fear that without being a top performer my flexibility will be the first to be removed. Working isn't for everyone. Working moms of a child with special needs have a difficult juggling act.”

Next: Staying home

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Trading career for motherhood

Joanna von Staden has a son with Down syndrome. She has worked full time in the past, and today she stays home with her two children.

“Both [arrangements] are equally draining,” she says. “At times I do miss the adult conversations and lunch hour with co-workers. [My son] has many medical issues, one including a [feeding tube], and we have been denied multiple times for any assistance. So until some of his medical issues get better with time, I count my blessings every day that I'm the one who is able to take care of him and my daughter.”

For parents who stay at home full time, it can be difficult not to resent the parent who heads to the office each day.

Jenn Scott had a full-time career she traded for full-time motherhood. She also has a son with Down syndrome.

“I tell [my husband] all the time that his job is just as hard, but his day is broken up,” Jenn says. “He sees different people. [He] has alone time. [He] is guaranteed a shower every day. He has an hour of alone time for the commute and then gets to eat at least one meal — lunch — alone and while it's hot.”

Joanna adds, “Sometimes [my husband] complains about his commute from work and there are days I would welcome an hour of alone time even if it was stuck in traffic!”

Finding part-time balance

For parents who continue to crave the fast pace of a career but also want time with their children, part-time work can be the solution.

“I have worked part-time since having kids,” says Ashley Walling, a nurse whose son has Down syndrome. “I took a leave of absence for nine months after I had Connor, and then gradually returned back to part-time.” She credits “an amazing neurosurgery group that has been so flexible and wonderful with me since having kids” for helping her “feel like I have the best of both worlds.”

When family and friends don’t understand the scheduling demands that come with parenting a child with special needs, frustration levels can rise.

Special needs schedules

Many points raised by these moms of children with special needs likely resonate with many stay-at-home moms of children with no disability. So, what’s different about having a child with special needs?

“Adding special needs to the mix adds a level of frustration I never thought I'd ever have to deal with,” Jenn says.

“The biggest misconception is that my day revolves around this sickly kid who has the awful disease and his therapies. I explain it to everyone like this, ‘You take your kids to sports and activities. So do I. I just have extra visitors and extra activities.’“

 “I just think others have no clue what is involved in caring for a child with special needs, whether you work or stay at home,” Ashley says. “Most do not realize all the therapy that is involved daily/weekly, the meetings, evaluations, doctors’ appointments, juggling work/school schedules, dealing with your other children and their schedules, your husband’s schedule, finding support and trying to still function in society as you did before, but truly will never be the same again!“

“I have learned situations I can and cannot function in, and have started being more honest about things I can and cannot do without the guilt or perfection I use to try to carry. Unfortunately this may include losing or gaining a few people in your life.”

Stay-at-home parents of children with special needs have quite a bit in common with stay-at-home parents of typical children. As Jenn points out, “My life also doesn't revolve [around my son] and his specialness. It revolves around trying to find balance between being a mom, wife and woman.”

All these demands come with great rewards and tradeoffs for the working spouse. “[My husband] doesn't get to see the daily triumphs that either kid makes,” Jenn says. “Like at gymnastics or at physical therapy. He's not as involved as I am with the daily decisions regarding our lives.”

As for me, I’m thankful my husband supports this new work/family arrangement. It may not be the ideal situation in 10 years, but for now, everyone is happy, healthy and as stress-free as any family can be.

And that feels pretty special.

Read more about special needs

Best apps for kids with special needs
10 Things you should know about autism
Having a sibling with Down syndrome

If you pine for a work schedule that enables you to bypass that commute to work in traffic, that saves you money by transforming lounge pants into a work wardrobe, or that compresses your work week into four days, then it's time to sharpen your negotiation skills and approach your boss.

Get background information

Be sure to check with your HR representative if flexible scheduling benefits are already in place. If not, ask around to determine if any other employees have flexible arrangements. Find out what they did to negotiate the schedule and use their tips for making your schedule work.

It's all about them

Plan to negotiate your flexible work schedule with your employer -- not you -- in mind. It's not about you this time and what works best for your family, but rather how this arrangement can benefit them. Most companies that offer family friendly benefits do so because it makes sense, not because they are being kind and charitable.

Note the advantages

The advantages of a flexible work schedule for both employees and employers alike are well documented. Those employers who implement these schedule benefits understand that it is an incentive to recruit and retain the best talent, of which many are working mothers. Additionally, employers realize that it helps improve productivity because, according to studies, people are happier at their workplace when they receive accommodations, emphasizing their importance on the job and boosting morale.

Pros and cons

Take a hard look at your life and situation before you begin the negotiation process to work from home. There are definitely those people who cannot work from home because they are too distracted by, well life! Laundry, bills, and the phone doesn't stop, so you have to be ready to disconnect during the time you are dedicating to your job.

Here are few drawbacks of working from home:

• The line between home and work gets blurred
• You don't have visibility from management
• You give up the social interaction with coworkers

All of these items, plus any other personal distractions should be considered if you are contemplating whether or not to work from home.

Create a blueprint

You should present your proposal for a modified schedule in writing. The key points to address in your proposal are:

1. How your flexible schedule will benefit your employer
2. Provide an outline of the work arrangement you want
3. If asking to telecommute, describe your home work station capacity
4. Describe how you plan to maintain communication with the office
5. Detail how you and your manager can regularly review the effectiveness of your work schedule
6. List any needs you have specific to your position and job responsibilities
7. Ask for their support

Be flexible yourself

If your workplace does not have a formal scheduling policy, you'll need to approach the discussion with flexibility in mind. Be open to suggestions from your boss on how they envision the schedule working. This will help ensure you consider all possible scheduling options, even if it's a small change to start. If your boss seems only lukewarm about your proposal, suggest a trial period of three months. This trial period is good for both of you.

It will take some work but, in most cases, a flexible work arrangement will be given the consideration it deserves.

More ideas for working moms

How to be happily employed in a tough economy
Getting along at the office: Adapting to change
Four stress-less tips for working moms

Video inspires crowdfunding

Debbie Sterling Lewis is a female engineer — one of the few. Eighty-nine percent of engineers are male and she wanted to do something to change that. So, she invented GoldieBlox.

She's more than
just a princess

Stanford Engineer Debbie Sterling Lewis' goal was to develop a fun construction toy just for girls in order to get them interested in engineering. She believes that engineers can't build our world's future without the female perspective. Therefore, she decided to create a toy company with little girls in mind called GoldieBlox.

Construction and structural toys develop spatial skills and help kids get interested in building and engineering. GoldieBlox is a book and a construction toy combined. Since girls love reading, Lewis thought adding the reading element was key to the appeal of her product. As Lewis explains, it's spatial plus verbal combined — the building sets plus books.

Getting GoldieBlox off the ground

After testing it with hundreds of kids, Sterling Lewis was ready to launch GoldieBlox, but had used all her life savings and called in every favor she had. The minimum order to produce GoldieBlox was 5000 and she needed funding, so Sterling Lewis turned to Kickstarter.

Watch her video plea below — it's simply beautiful.

And Kickstarter came through for GoldieBlox, just like it has for many other start-up companies. Not only did GoldieBlox get backing, it got funded in five days, along with the next two books in the series.

GoldieBlox set

With a target age of girls from 5-9, the initial GoldieBlox set includes:

• Storybook - GoldieBlox and the Spinning Machine: This is the intro to Goldie, where she builds a belt drive to spin all her friends.
• Character figurines - Nacho , Benjamin Cranklin , Katinka , Phil , and Flavio .
• Construction set - 1 pegboard, 5 wheels, 10 axles, 5 blocks, 1 crank, 1 ribbon and 5 washers.

You can pre-order GoldieBlox and the Spinning Machine now. GoldieBlox is currently in production and you can track her progress at GoldieBlox.com.

Joining the boys club

Sterling Lewis aims to inspire girls to challenge the stereotype, get into science and construction, and take the world of engineering by storm. The first delivery of GoldieBlox is expected to reach consumers in February 2013.

More about math and science for kids

The Big Bang Theory's Mayim Bialik teams up with Texas Instruments
Teach your child to love math, even if you don't
How to make clouds: Science experiment for kids

It seemed like only yesterday that a fresh-faced Justin Bieber mesmerized the world with his famous hair flip while crooning “Baby,” — however flash-forward to today, where the 18-year-old Biebs has seven tattoos, drives a flashy $100,000 Fisker Karma sports car and is often seen with his pants hanging more off than on.

He did, however, bring his mom as his date as he accepted American Music Awards Artist of the Year.

A new study by Ebates.com of 1,121 youth between the ages of 8-12 have said that it is actually no longer Bieber that has the most influence over them, but 22-year-old Taylor Swift.

Check out the entire list of those celebrities who they said have the most influence on them:

• Taylor Swift
• Justin Bieber
• One Direction
• Selena Gomez
• Nicki Minaj
• Justin Timberlake
• Robert Pattinson
• Jennifer Lawrence

It does seem like Bieber is trying to shed his young, innocent image and embrace his new grown-up role, so are parents happy that more kids are influenced by the sweet and innocent country crooner Taylor Swift?

The Taylor Swift influence

Family psychotherapist Dr. Frances Walfish, who is the author of The Self-Aware Parent: Resolving Conflict and Building a Better Bond with Your Child, says she is happy to hear that Swift is the most influential celebrity among young girls. “Taylor is extremely down-to-earth. She is a very real person with good values, ethics, and morals,” she tells SheKnows. “She represents happy, healthy, and full of energy. No ego, no arrogance.

Anna Berry agrees, telling us her daughter received a personal package from Swift after a family friend told her about her daughter’s experience with being bullied at school for two years.

“Taylor was so kind to put together a package of items for Ashley, along with the personal message to 'Keep your head up, your heart open and you will be blessed.' It meant so much to her and the ironic thing was that Ashley was just about to begin performing Taylor's song ”Mean” at local competitions as her anti-bullying anthem,” Berry said. “That action alone helped put a smile on my daughter's face and give her the confidence to stand up for herself and we will always love Taylor for it.”

Hey, Justin Bieber isn’t so bad!

Terry Akins said she thinks that Bieber has been a good role model for youth, citing the fact that he has had a steady girlfriend for over a year — and says he has handled their rumored break-up well.

“Justin Bieber respects himself and his girlfriend and publicly put her as his only girlfriend,” Akins said. “He teaches us that having a solid relationship with one woman that you respect is a good quality and that even in having a public heartbreak, he shows us that there is nothing wrong with showing that human and vulnerable side. He is a good role model for young men.”

She also gives props to Gomez, who ranked 4th on the list. “Selena Gomez shows young women that they can be a professional, with a career and a person that is true to herself. Even though she may be involved with a public figure, she shows others the importance of self-respect and stands up for herself when that very well-known public figure does not do the right thing by her standards. She is an excellent role model for young women.”

One person she is glad didn’t make the list? “Rihanna is a very poor role model. Chris Brown abuses her and treats her like a punching bag and then she goes back to him,” Akins said.

Or maybe celebs aren’t great role models?

 “The problem with young role models is that they start out as good, but then tend to do something bad or, at least, stupid,” said Dr. Carole Lieberman, a Beverly Hills psychiatrist, and bestselling author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets.

“Justin Bieber has now lost his girlfriend, Selena Gomez, because he couldn't resist cheating with a Victoria's Secret model, and just got stopped again by police for his driving. Taylor Swift has cultivated a virginal good girl image, but reports have it that she is lying about having broken up with Conor Kennedy to get his family off their backs. Nicky Minaj has instigated an ugly, knock-down-drag-out, jealous rivalry with Mariah Carey. Jennifer Lawrence hasn't done anything really bad yet , but she's about to become a lot more famous... so she may soon be tempted,” Lieberman tells us.

So, what’s a parent to do?

“It's really risky for parents to endorse any role models too strongly because they are likely to mess up. Of course, this gives parents the perfect opportunity to teach kids about how not to make the same mistakes.”

More parenting tips

Should star athletes be role models?
Parents react to ESPN Magazine's "Body Issue"
Eating disorder awareness for parents of teens

Portia, in Act 5, Scene 1 of William Shakespeare’s “Merchant of Venice” utters, “How far that little candle throws his beams!/So shines a good deed in a naughty world.”

Help from a true hero

Never accused of Mensa-like intelligence, my preferred take on that quote comes from the original Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Charlie Bucket places a coveted “Everlasting Gobstopper” on Mr. Wonka’s desk, and the Candyman replies, “So shines a good deed in a weary world.” Whether Elizabethan era or Hollywood, the message is simple: While you can’t control your circumstances, you can always control your actions.

Take William H. Dalrymple for example. Bill is store manager at The Home Depot Superstore in Union/Vauxhall, New Jersey. With Hurricane Sandy about to descend, any and every store to carry emergency supplies had lines 50 deep… and no generators. On line at 6:30 a.m., Sunday, October 28, was my life-long friend Pamela , and her pre-teen son, Justin. Justin has classic autism; he has good days, he has really awful days. Justin also has severe food allergies; Pam must cook all his meals. The prospect of a storm without a generator is living in a “Land of No” — no power, no heat, no hot water, no stove, no oven and no regular schedule on which Justin requires.

A helping hand

Pam approached the first “orange apron” she could find. Fortuitously it was Bill. Pam asked what she knew was a rhetorical question: “Are you getting more generators?” Bill, kind and fatherly, said, “No.” Just then, Pam spied Justin literally licking the empty red gas container she had him hold. Never one to indulge in self-pity, Pam shrugged her shoulders and commented how difficult it will be to lose power when you have a child with autism. Before she began the next sentence, Bill gave her his personal cell phone number. He told her to call him if she lost power; he would help.

Pam did text Bill her contact information. But, Bill didn’t text Pam back. No, Bill called Pam at home. Bill said, “You have enough to worry about without having to worry about a generator. If you lose power, I will find you a generator.”

On Monday morning, October 29, Pam’s father purchased one of the last available generators, and installed it at her home. That afternoon, Bill — whose store was nothing short of pandemonium — called Pam because he also found a generator. Grateful, Pam declined his offer, as she now had a generator.

Murphy's Law

Tuesday morning, Pam and her family awoke to find downed trees on, in and around her home. As Murphy’s Law dictates, the new generator was broken too. Pam pressed her luck and called Bill. Within the hour, she received a text from Bill’s co-worker, asking for her home address. Soon after, Home Depot employees arrived with not only a generator, but with gas and oil, too, which ensured heat, hot water, television and light — essentials which soothe Justin.

By Wednesday, roads were passable. Pam and her family went to “forage for food and gas — which was non-existent.” She received another Home Depot call: To ensure Justin’s routine, they were going to deliver additional gas. But wait… there’s more!

With gas rationing in place, Pam once again found herself at Home Depot to purchase another red gas container. At checkout, two employees — unaware of Bill’s generosity — escorted Pam to her car. They told her, “People are going insane for gas containers. Who knows what they will do to get them!”

By day nine, power was still gone. When Pam oiled the generator, it made odd noises, so Pam once again reached out to Bill. Once again, Bill responded, and Home Depot arrived.

Paying it forward

By this point, Pam had cabin fever. She looked out her window to see crews from Texas “on the line” to repair her town’s electricity. Inspired and awed by Bill’s good deeds, she knew to “pay it forward.” Pam drove to her local Starbucks and purchased several industrial-size coffee containers. When she relayed her “Bill story” to the staff, they were so moved, they donated additional industrial-size coffee containers. Pam personally drove around town and poured workers one cup of coffee at a time, until there was none. Amazing how the kindness and generosity of one man, led to the kindness and generosity of many.

From their chance meeting nine days prior, Bill Dalrymple and his staff became part of Pam’s extended family. Bill could have simply walked away after Pam’s innocuous comment about losing power and autism; Bill owed Pam nothing. Bill owed our special needs community nothing. Yet he and his Union/Vauxhaul, New Jersey Home Depot team took on Pam’s concerns as their own. Their team eased the stress for one special needs family, and by extension, eased the burden for our collective community. The Home Depot Inc. co-founder Bernard “Bernie” Marcus is an active Autism Speaks board member and executive committee member, and is chairman of the Marcus Foundation.

True heroes

As a society we need to rethink what constitutes a hero. Is a hero someone who throws touchdowns… plays in a rock band… acts in movies and television? Or, is a hero someone like William H. Dalrymple and his employees: Selfless. Humble. Brave. Compassionate. Game-changers.

For Bill and his dedicated Home Depot co-workers, your good deeds shine brightly in this weary world. And that, my friends, is the real Golden Ticket.

More about autism

The passion of autism
Autism: Let there be light
Autism: That's what friends are for

This year I had the opportunity to be a cast member in the Listen to your Mother Show and it changed me in a profound way.

Listen to your Mother in a city near you

Next year, I will have the opportunity to share that with others and I’m over the moon about it.

That was then

Six months ago now, I stood backstage at the Fort Mason Center in San Francisco and waited for my turn to stand behind the podium and share my words with the Listen to your Mother audience.

I knew that sharing the story of my miscarriage would help me continue to heal from our loss.

What I didn’t realize until that night was that it would be the words of my cast mates that would stay with me and wrap themselves around me whenever I thought of the entire experience.

Words of motherhood. Of being one, having one and losing one.

The experience is one that I walked away completely unable to explain to others.

Leading up to that night, I couldn’t stop talking about how I felt about being a part of it all and I wrote about it both here and on my own blog.

This year, I celebrated Mother's Day with LTYM >>

After the show

But, as I left the Fort Mason Center after the show that night, I just knew that finding words big enough… powerful enough… to share how I felt would be a challenge.

Days passed and I didn’t write about it. Then, days turned into weeks which turned into months. And I never wrote about it. My words simply failed me. Nothing I could write could ever explain it.

I knew that there was nothing I could say that could make others know what it felt like to stand and feel pieces of yourself heal with each word both spoken and heard.

I couldn’t express how powerful and moving it was to sit in that theater and hear stories of joy and of sadness.

Every time I spoke about being a part of the LTYM Show, I felt such sadness over the fact that I couldn’t share it. Not really.

Read about motherhood and transformation: How becoming a mom changes you >>

This is now

But this May, I will finally have the opportunity to truly share the experience with others. My lovely friend Margaret Andrews and I will be co-producing the LTYM Show in Sacramento.

I am so incredibly grateful to Ann Imig, the national director and creator of LTYM, for trusting us with her baby.

What began in 2010 as a single city show in Madison, Wisconsin, LTYM resonated so powerfully with its audience that it has grown exponentially in the years since.

In 2013, LTYM will find its home in 24 cities across the United States.

If you have a story to share and would like to audition for a local show, visit the LTYM website and follow LTYM on Facebook and Twitter for audition information and a complete list of cities.

If you're lucky enough to have a production near you, whether as a cast mate or audience member, please don’t miss the show.

I promise, you will leave feeling as I did, incapable of finding the words to describe just how amazing the experience is.

More on motherhood

Adoption photos: The moment I became a mom
Birth photos: The moment I became a mom
5 Lessons I learned from my mother

Celebrity parents and the new nuclear family

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt; Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber; Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick. The list of unmarried celebrity couples with kids is growing longer — especially those who cite political reasons for not tying the knot. Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard recently announced their pregnancy and the couple, although they are engaged, say they still have no plans to marry. Their reason? They want to wait until all gay and lesbian couples are afforded this same right. "We'll have them out of wedlock," 37-year-old Shepard told Larry King in a recent interview. "We're not worried about that."

So the question is, are even the most well-intentioned parents and future parents like Shepard and Bell — who are choosing not to marry — doing their children more harm than good? It really depends on who you ask... But with 40 percent of American babies born to unmarried parents, it's an important question to consider.

Families come in all shapes and sizes

"The reality of American culture today is that families come in all shapes, sizes and colors, and that is a good thing! Most of the research points to the fact that there is no 'perfect formula' for a healthy nurturing family environment in which children need to be raised to grow up healthy, happy and whole, emotionally," says Lisa Stevenson who holds a master's degree in counseling and has done extensive study on how the parental relationship affects children.

"The one common thread that all of the healthiest families do have is stability," adds Stevenson.

Sometimes love isn't enough

While most won't argue with how a celebrity's influence can inspire change and thus is commendable that these famous parents like Bell and Shepard would want to use their influence to help others, many experts still believe that marriage is what's best for the kids. Psychologist Tina Tessina brings up this point: "Marriage creates consequences for leaving the relationship that aren't there in cohabitation, and while we like to think love will be enough, it frequently isn't."

Life coach Amy Shoen adds, "No, you don't have to have a ring, but it does show commitment to each other and [not having one] makes it easier to walk away."

Being unwed and pregnant can get you fired >>

You need to define what your family is

Experts also agree that choosing not to marry can create confusion in children. Dr. John Duffy says he's worked with a number of parents who are unmarried by choice. "Some of the children are confused by their parents' arrangement and why they've chosen not to marry. In these situations I have found that the parents have been somewhat unclear about their feelings for each other with the kids. And they've also been unclear about the definition of family for them," says Duffy, who adds, "I found that these children felt insecure in their families."

"Parents should create a 'culture' of family within the household. That is, they collectively engage in rituals, celebrations, meals... that define them as a family," suggests Duffy.

"Once a child is old enough to understand, talk to them frankly about the reasons Mom and Dad chose not to marry. Like a lot of parent-child conversations, I encourage them to open with the things that do not change: We both love you, we love each other, we are a family."

Read more about marriage and parenting

How to adopt as a single mom
4 Things that your kids learn from your healthy marriage
Your kids and your marriage: Both are important

As parents, when our child is going through a medical issue, we often trust their medical providers to give us the answers and treat him accordingly. There are times, however, where we might want to get another professional opinion.

Reasons for a second opinion

Is the recommended treatment more than you’d bargained for, or are you not jiving with the doctor? C. Noel Henley, an orthopedic surgeon with Ozark Orthopaedics, says these are absolutely reasons to request a second opinion. “Reasons to get a second opinion: The proposed treatment is invasive, has a long recovery time, is controversial in some way, or there are many ways to do the procedure or treatment,” he told us.

“Also, if the parents don't feel comfortable for any reason with this doctor . If the doctor suggests it, ask him or her if they think getting another opinion is wise. A conscientious doctor worth his salt will say yes almost every time .”

Fight for your child

While your child is important to your doctor, your child is more important to you. You are ultimately your child’s advocate — if you don’t fight for him, who will?

Katie, whose baby Jack suffers from three unusual diseases, knows firsthand the importance of speaking up and seeking a second — and more — opinion. “Some diseases are so rare that doctors are not likely to encounter them in practice, let alone encounter multiple rare conditions in one patient,” she explained. “So our pediatrician, in his 20+ years of practice, has never had any patients with any of these conditions, let alone all three.”

Your child’s advocate

While doctors and other medical staff can be intimidating, Katie says that it was important for her to stand up and get her son the help he needed. “I have learned in the past four months that my No. 1 job is to be my son's advocate,” she shared. “This responsibility doesn't come naturally to me — I am generally a ’people-pleaser, don't step on toes, don't rock the boat’ person by nature.”

Katie had to do a lot of her own research and “fire” physicians when she felt that their questions weren’t being answered and her son’s treatment team wasn’t addressing their concerns — especially when what she discovered during her own research didn’t fit with what treatment they were prescribing. “Even though those MDs wanted me to follow up with them, and were a bit pissy when I insisted on seeing a specialist in infant GERD, I know from my own research that he needed a more aggressive treatment,” she told us. “I am just sorry I waited so long to finally get it.”

She summed it up best. She said, “You are with your child day in and day out, you know them best, and I think if you are armed with information, even though you might step on some toes because some MDs have big egos, you will make the best decision you can to get them the help they deserve.”

More on sick kids

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Food and drinks that soothe sick kids
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You have to admit, your child’s feet were very close to touching the ground last time you pushed him in the stroller... but does that mean it’s time to make him walk?

Is your child too old for that?

How do you know when you should bump the bottle, sideline the stroller or pitch the pacifier?

Time to bump that bottle?

Are you wondering if it's time to switch from a bottle to a sippy cup, but the idea of taking away your baby's most prized possession stresses you out? So before you do bump that bottle, you want to be sure it's really time? Well, ultimately, that choice is going to be up to you. But there are some points of view you can consider when making your decision.

The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests weaning your child from the bottle before 18 months because prolonged bottle use can cause tooth decay and can also encourage your child to drink more milk than he needs.

You should also talk to your child's pediatrician and get his advice on when to transition from the bottle to a sippy cup. You can get tips on when and how to wean that work best for your individual situation.

Clinical psychologist Julia Simens warns, "Child development isn't an exact science. There is no hard and fast rule for anything that pertains to child development. One family might have a child ready to give up the bottle at 12 months, but when your child is 12 months old it just does not seem right."

Weaning baby from bottle to cup>>

Should you sideline your stroller?

"All of the items... including the stroller, pacifier and bottle are necessary, helpful and recommended for children. Any one of them used in excess over a specific age is counter-productive," says Dr. Fran Walfish. When it comes to the stroller, Walfish believes that it is not needed for children over 4 years. "Unless the expected walking distance is far ."

Top strollers under $100>>

Prepare to pitch that pacifier?

"The pacifier is enormously helpful to infants and toddlers. It is recommended for babies as an aid to self-soothing at sleep time and during times of frustration," says Walfish. "Many kids become dependent on their pacifiers and walk around the house and even outside with a pacifier in their mouths. This is excess."

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends weaning your child from the pacifier during the second six months of life because pacifier use after six months is assoicated with recurrent ear infections.

But Walfish says in her experience, most kids give up the pacifier between the ages of 3 and 4.

Although a new study reported by Health Day may have you wanting to pull that pacifier sooner. According to the research, pacifiers carry dangerous bacteria and researchers report that they found a wide range of disease-causing bacteria, fungus and mold on pacifiers that young children had been using. According to the study's author Dr. Tom Glass, a professor of forensic sciences, pathology and dental medicine at Oklahoma State University, "the same types of bacteria found on a common pacifier have been linked to cardiovascular disease, metabolic syndrome, allergies, asthma and autoimmune diseases."

Parenting guru: Too old for a pacifier?>>

Read more about your child's milestones

What comes after the crib?
How to tell when your child is ready for potty training
Late walkers: When should Baby learn to walk?