Honoring our nation's military veterans

From making cards for our retired servicemen to taking in a Veterans Day parade, give your child the gift of learning to respect our nation's heroes.

Teach your child
about Veterans Day

Teach your child the significance of our nation’s veterans

Before November 11 rolls around this year, take some time to share the significance of this day to your children. Even if you don’t have veterans in your life, it’s important that your child understands the sacrifice that military personnel make for the people in our country.

For younger children, remember that the concept of a veteran and the military may be hard to grasp. Keep it simple by telling your younger children that it’s important to thank the men and women who have dedicated themselves to keeping our country safe.

Attend a Veterans Day parade or celebration

Check your community’s activities listings for events and parades surrounding Veterans Day. Many cities go all out with elaborate parades and celebrations that include fun for kids.

If you’re not up for a crowded celebration, plan a kids’ parade around your neighborhood. Don’t forget to invite local veterans from the community as well as family and friends.

Visit a veteran

If you have someone special in your life that served in the military, be sure to honor him or her on this day. Invite your child to make a small gift such as a card or a homemade craft or hand-drawn picture of your child and the special veteran.

Host a special dinner party or an intimate gathering in honor of the special veterans in your life. Allow your kids to help you plan the menu, do the party shopping and make the food.

If you don’t know any veterans personally, visit a local Veterans Affairs hospital or community. Bring cookies, cards or take a few minutes to personally thank the veterans for their service. If you have older children, call a VA organization to find out about volunteering opportunities. Make this a family tradition.

Don your colors

Teaching your child to honor a veteran goes hand in hand with pride in our country — another important value to teach your child. This November 11, ask your child to help you put out an American flag at your home, wear red, white and blue or put a ‘Proud to be an American’ bumper sticker on your car. Remember that veterans and servicemen and women deserve our respect not just on Veterans Day but every day.

More on veterans and the military

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Helping paws and heroes: Patriot Rovers
Top 10 ways to give back

Halle Berry

Halle Berry looked gorgeous on the November cover of InStyle magazine in a red Calvin Klein Collection dress. The 46-year-old Cloud Atlas star talked about her daughter Nahla and her love life.

On her daughter’s love for long hair:

“I think I am at my best when my hair is short. It’s easier to take care of and more of who I am. Women are conditioned to think we need long hair. I see that happening with my daughter. She is so in love with her hair right now. She says, ‘Look, Mommy — it’s so long!‘ As women, we think it defines us, and we learn that at a young age.”

On her fiancé, Olivier Martinez:

“When I first met Olivier, there wasn’t the initial ‘I’m in love!’ It was something that grew more gradually — and it feels more real because of that. He’s silly, a clown, and very much the life of the party, which is good for someone like me. Danny Downer… been there, done that. Now I like Louie Lightfoot!”

On marriage:

“It’s another one of those never-say-never things. I’m a hopeless romantic, and I won’t stop till I get it right!”

On her effortless style:

“Don’t be a slave to trends. People who are, never develop their own style. I have friends who are tragic — always trying to wear the latest thing, and it doesn’t always look good on them. I mean, that may be good on Kate Moss on the runway, but honey, you can’t pull it off.”

Next up: Nicole Kidman talks pregnancy rumors to Harper’s Bazaar

Photographed for InStyle by Giampaolo Sgura

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Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman looked amazing on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar in an Emilio Pucci gown and Cartier cuff. The Paperboy actress opened up about her husband Keith Urban with whom she has two kids with , pregnancy rumors — and yes, even Tom Cruise.

On pregnancy rumors:

“All of that other stuff becomes less important. Like, I’ve always had a little belly. I mean, now that I’m 45, they don’t say, ‘Oh, she’s pregnant!’ as much. But I’ve got skinny arms and legs, and then I’ve got a little belly.”

On her marriage to ex-husband Tom Cruise:

“In those early years, it was like, ‘I’m here and I’m clutching onto your arm, and it all feels a little overwhelming and really strange. And I was shy. Deeply shy. I didn’t feel comfortable at all. But I felt very comfortable at home.“

On her husband of six years, Keith Urban: 

“He just gave me confidence through just being very kind to me and understanding me, opening me up to trying things, my sexuality, those sorts of things.”

Next up: Nashville star Connie Britton talks being a single mom to her adopted son

Photo: Harper's Bazaar

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Connie Britton

Fans fell in love with Connie Britton as Tami Taylor on Friday Night Lights, but she is now re-inventing herself on her new show Nashville. The 40-year-old actress opened up in this month’s issue of Redbook magazine.

On the celebrity adoption trend:

”Me and Angelina and Sandra Bullock and Mary-Louise Parker just get together every weekend, drink rosé, and talk about kids! No, that is not the case. Not that I wouldn't love to get together with all of them and discuss their experiences. But there is a community of people who have adopted children from Ethiopia, and that's something I want to be a part of for sure. To me it’s really important for my son to have a strong sense of that background.”

On deciding to be a single mom:

”I always knew I wanted a child, and I always assumed I'd be doing it with a man. Then my parents passed away within three years of each other. Right after that, a lightbulb went off in my head and I thought, ’What am I waiting for?’ I wasn't in a relationship at the time, but I thought, ’This is something I want to do. I can do it.’”

On how Friday Night Lights taught her how to be a mom:

”One thing that I tapped into very early on doing FNL was that a lot of what it feels like to be a mother is that you feel like you have no idea what the hell you're doing. That was true for me as an actor… And then at some point I realized, well, actually, that's exactly how a mother would be feeling. And now that I'm a mother, I realize the depth to which that's true.”

For more from the actress, pick up the November issue of Redbook.

Next up: Giada De Laurentiis on Women’s Health magazine

Photo: Redbook

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Giada De Laurentiis

Food Network star Giada De Laurentiis reveals her entertaining secrets in the November issue of Women’s Health. The 42-year-old also shares her secret for staying slim — even as a professional chef!

On entertaining with her daughter Jade:

“I don’t let my 4-year-old eat spaghetti where she could splatter it. Because I’m a mother, I think about those things all the time.”

On keeping her svelte figure as a chef:

Portion control! I eat everything I make — just not a lot of it at any one time.”

On her cooking attire:

“There's something elegant yet comfortable about a dress... A lot of times I'll wear something printed so it disguises anything on me.“

On her invite list:

“I think it's a very personal thing. If you're coming over to my house, I'm saying you're special, and everyone gets the family treatment.“

On why she won't pass off grocery shopping:

“I have a menu in mind, but I'm a visual, tactile person. I have to see my stuff. It's what I like to do. It helps me to relax.“

Photo: Women's Health

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What to do when a playdate turns ugly

You’re excited. Your son has finally scored a play date with Billy, a boy in his class he can’t stop talking about. But when the kids get together, little Billy turns out to be a bully and the play date is filled with more tears than fun.

How to pass on the second play date

When a play date goes bad, how do you handle it?

Can the play date be saved?

Just because your child and Billy aren't getting along, doesn't necessarily mean the play date has to be ended immediately. Father of five, Lincoln Hoppe, suggests, "Billy's bullying is a behavior not a personality defect. And behaviors can be modified. It is likely that a more structured activity and some loving redirection of Billy's behavior will solve the problem. After all, your child likes Billy when they are at school so creating a more school-like play date may help. Do a craft. Play a board game. Build something together."

Meryl Neiman, mom and co-founder and CEO of Playdate Planet, says, "The mom should take little Billy and her son aside and tell them that it does not appear that the two of them are getting along. Explain that play dates are for playing and having fun, not for arguments and tears, and if they can't find a way to have fun together then you will have to call Billy's mom and cut the play date short ."

Mastering the art of play dates>>

When it's obvious the play date is over

If it's obvious things will only go from bad to worse if you don't end the play date, Dr. Susan Bartell suggests taking the following steps:

• Call the child's mom to come pick up her child. Explain that the kids aren't doing well together.
• Since most parents are very defensive about their child's behavior, don't accuse Billy of being a bully. Just let it go.
• If your child is upset, explain why Billy isn't a good friend for him. It's very important for kids to learn not to tolerate bullying just because they want to be in someone's social circle.

What your child can learn from this

Dr. Fran Walsh says this is a perfect opportunity to talk with your child about what it takes to be a good friend and how to choose our friends. "Little Billy turned out to be a bully. A good friend treats you kindly, shares, takes turns, talks nicely and behaves toward you the way he wants to be treated. A good friend is not hot-and-cold. He is nice all the time. This is how we learn to feel safe and trust our friends. Teach your own child that he deserves a whole slice of pie... not just crumbs the way Billy has offered."

Could the bad date have been avoided?

Danny Nickell, founder of Daddyscrubs.com and father of six says, "It is a good idea prior to hosting a play date to have already spent time with the other family, and children, know their behaviors, and make decisions before making the invitations so that a “play date gone bad” can be about just having a bad day, and not about a child not being raised and taught the same standards that we as parents strive to teach our children."

How to steer clear of a bad play date: The 9 moms to watch out for>>

More about your child's friendships

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Advice from celebs for this Mom- and Dad- to-Be

Congratulations to Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell! The engaged pair is expecting their first child in the spring.

Dax Shepard, 37, is going to experience Parenthood for real in the spring. He and fiance Kristen Bell, 32, are expecting their first child. We couldn't be happier for the vegan couple who have vowed to hold off on marriage until their gay and lesbian friends can legally marry too.

“They're so excited — they're both ecstatic. They can't wait to become parents,“ a source told People.com.

Kristen Bell makes sloth-friendly diet switch>>

Becoming Mom and Dad

The couple, who've been engaged since 2010, spoke earlier this year about how they wanted to start a family — even if they were holding off on marriage. Now, they are on their way and already experiencing the reality of pregnancy.

That's right, Bell had to deal with the dreaded morning sickness, the source said to People.com. The good news? It's subsided.

Check out natural remedies for morning sickness>>

Working motherhood

Bell, who is currently filming her second season of House of Lies, is a busy actress who's appeared in numerous films including Hit and Run, in which she co-starred with Shepard. While managing a busy schedule like that is challenging pre-baby, it's even more so when motherhood is in the mix.

How do other celebs handle it?

Melissa Joan Hart, star of Melissa & Joey, relies on her iPhone calendar to keep track of her appointments and to-dos — for work and her kids. “My secret is the calendar on my iPhone and setting alarms on that to make sure that I don’t forget things like picking up a present for the birthday party or remembering snacks for the soccer game,“ Hart told SheKnows.

Ali Landry also makes it a priority to be present with her children — putting down the phone and shutting off the email. “I am trying to figure it out like everybody else. Each day is a new day,” Landry revealed to SheKnows.

And one more thing about that busy schedule — stars including Hart and Elizabeth Banks choose to bring their kids on location with them while filming. That lets them still be there with their kids, even while working.

Best wishes to the parents-to-be!

Baby makes three for Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard>>

Image credit: Nikki Nelson / WENN.com

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Underage binge drinking

We’ve all had the discussions with our teens about underage drinking, yet alcohol is readily available to them. For many teen girls, it has become the most important component of their social life. When alcohol becomes her BFF, the problems become serious.

Party girls harm more than their reputation

Underage drinking continues to pose a huge threat to the health and well-being of our teens — and girls may be at a greater risk than boys. What starts as something fun and daring may quickly turn into a crutch she can’t manage social situations without.

Binge drinking is a big problem

Teens may only consume alcohol at parties rather than drinking on a daily basis, then think they have their drinking under control. Binge drinking — generally considered four or more drinks at one sitting for women — has become common among younger people. “Binge drinking used to be mainly a problem found on college campuses and in fraternities or sororities, but it's on the rise among young adolescent girls and places them at greater risk of physical and emotional problems," says Scott Bienenfeld, M.D., medical director of the New York Center for Living.

According to National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism statistics, even though young people drink less often than adults, they make up for it in volume. The effect of multiple drinks in a short period of time is amplified in girls. “Girls have less of the enzyme required to break down alcohol than boys do,” adds Bienenfeld, “so they become intoxicated more quickly with less alcohol and remain intoxicated longer.“ Impaired judgment makes girls more likely to engage in risky behaviors, and puts them at increased risk of physical or sexual assault.

Did you know volunteering decreases substance abuse in teens? >>

Saving calories for booze

What could make the issue of binge drinking even worse? Combining disordered eating habits — such as purging and calorie restriction — with heavy consumption of alcohol has become popular among many young girls. Researchers at the University of Missouri led by Victoria Osborne, assistant professor of social work and public health, found that 16 percent of those surveyed reported restricting calories to ”save them” for drinking. Women were three times more likely to engage in this behavior — dubbed drunkorexia — than men. Their reasons included getting intoxicated more quickly, preventing weight gain and saving money for alcohol that would normally be spent on food.

Drunkorexia not only puts people at risk for serious addiction issues, but also poses dangerous cognitive, behavioral and physical consequences. ”Apart from each other, depriving the brain of adequate nutrition and consuming large amounts of alcohol can be dangerous,” warns Osborne. “Together, they can cause short- and long-term cognitive problems including difficulty concentrating, studying and making decisions.”

Could your teen have an eating disorder? >>

Social crutch

When girls begin to rely on alcohol to help them navigate social situations, it becomes a hard habit to break. The false sense of confidence that alcohol provides makes her feel popular, and can quickly become a must-have for any social outing. Bienenfeld shares a few questions young girls can ask themselves if they feel they may have a problem.

• Have your friends expressed concern about your drinking?
• When you go to a party, do you obsessively worry that there won't be any alcohol there?
• Do you find it hard to stop drinking once you start?

”If the answer is yes to any of these questions, you should really think about getting help,” he says.

If your daughter approaches you about her own binge drinking or concern about a friend, take it seriously. With the help of an addiction specialist, things can turn around for your teen.

More on teens and risky behaviors

Teens and sex: Playing it safe, or still taking risks?
The dangers of the ”choking game”
Latest drinking trend for teens: Distilling hand sanitizer

Last-minute Election Day tips

voting guide for dummies

Every state is a little different, but here's a checklist guaranteed to refresh your memory of all the things you'll need to make your vote count on Election Day!

Drum roll, please.

Political banter, ad space, airborne campaign spreads, debates, front yard pickets, arguments, bumper stickers and every other subliminal endorsement that has bombarded the American audience has all come down to this.

Election Day is upon us.

You’ve made up your mind to vote, but do you know how?

It’s not an intimidating process — in fact, it’s a privilege we are very fortunate to have in the country — but there are some basic steps to complete in making sure you cast your vote the right way.

Keep in mind that the process is very similar in every state but there are some technicalities that may differ slightly.

Depending on your state, there are still opportunities to register on Election Day, but for 2016, do yourself a favor and take advantage of early registration opportunities. Not only does this save you from the pains of waiting in an unnecessary line at the polls, it will also help to provide you with educational material in the form of a sample ballot. Most times you know where your heart and head take your vote, but familiarizing yourself with the sample ballot will allow you extra time to discern the often-confusing political lingo.

Make sure you know exactly what you are, indeed, voting for.

For future reference, many states now provide the voter registration process online so you can do everything from the comfort of your own home. You can also find voter registration advocacy organizations on many college campuses, and, considering most college students are first-time voters the personnel are typically very helpful in breaking down the process and answering any questions you may have. I registered to vote on the University of Arizona campus in 2008 and it literally took five minutes!

To check registration details in your state call 866-OUR-VOTE, or go to www.866ourvote.org.

Another perk of registering early is that the sample ballot will inform you of the appropriate polling locations based on your current residence. Polling stations pop up all over the place — churches, fire stations, community centers — and they’ll all have signs that read, “Vote Here!” The reality is that you have to vote where you’re registered and you can double check all that at www.canivote.org or by calling 866-OUR-VOTE.

It would be tragic if you did all your homework, only to submit a vote that won’t count.

Furthermore, doing a bit of research will let you know when said polling stations open and close so you don’t miss the window. Take note that a large majority of the work force will probably sneak out on their lunch break to cast its vote so we suggest going before or after lunch to make things go as quick and smooth as possible.

No matter your current registration status, you can safely bet you will have to prove your identification at the polls. To play it safe — again each state has its own protocol — bring at least two forms of photo ID, one of which is a driver’s license. Be sure you also know your address, social security number and date of birth.

You laugh, but with all the important voter considerations taking up space in your head, it could be easy to goof on the simple stuff.

SheKnows is not a political canvas, but we do encourage you to vote local. By all means you are free to cast only the presidential vote if you feel like doing so, but remember, that vote decides Washington. No doubt, the vote for Washington is worthwhile, but you also have a chance for a direct say in your hometown. The extra 10 minutes you place in casting local votes has an immediate influence in the dynamics and relations around your roots.

The presidential election is a big deal, but you've heard it said that it's the small things in life that matter.

Politics is a little bit of both so if you've got the chance for your voice to be heard you might as well use it to its full potential.

If nothing else, remind yourself that the temporary headache of standing in line is birthed from a constitutional right we are granted as citizens of this country. Regardless of your political stance, involvement or opinion, the reality is many people fight for this right that you may or may not even value or acknowledge, so make the most of it.

You don’t owe a vote per se, but appreciating the opportunity for what it’s worth isn’t asking too much. If you’re not voting, humble yourself and recognize that even having the freedom to turn down the vote is something a large part of the world is starving for. Celebrate your privilege, and at the least, throw a party afterward saluting the return of subliminal, capitalistic commercials selling you on potato chips and vacuums rather than these heavy mudslinging campaigns.

Other Election Day topics to consider

Planned parenthood and abortion views
Foreign policy stance
U.S health care
Issues moms should understand

Why do you believe that the focus of girl aggression on middle and high school students is a problem?

Dr. Michelle Anthony: Starting to focus on girl aggression in middle and high school is way too late in the game. By the time they’re in middle school, a majority of girls will have faced or witnessed countless acts of social cruelty and relational aggression.

Knowing how many girls need to learn to deal with these struggles was the reason Dr. Reyna Lindert and I wrote Little Girls Can be Mean. We wanted to help parents and other caring adults understand how and why meanness happens, and have a plan for what to do about it.

Pushing for power

What kind of female relational aggression exists in grade school?

Dr. Anthony: If you had to stereotype, girls more often use social power — what researchers call relational aggression or social cruelty — to bully their peers. Boys, in contrast, use physical intimidation. While the initial “blow” from a girl bully may seem less severe than the physical abuse sustained by a boy bully, the sting and its aftermath lasts much longer, and tends to involve more people.

Elementary-aged girls are actively trying to have power within relationships. Unfortunately, girls this age often don’t know how to make themselves more powerful without it being at the expense of another . This is incidental or accidental meanness. However, usually beginning around third grade, they discover how to use negative power, and the amount of intentional meanness increases . Without guidance early on, you get the double whammy of two kinds of meanness that only grows as girls age, in both amount and magnitude.

Needing a guide

People often see the grade school years as an innocent, happy time, but what do parents need to know about the struggles of elementary-aged girls?

Dr. Anthony: So many parents learn the hard way that girls are already facing social cruelty, from as early on as kindergarten. This is when the meanness starts, and this is when we can best support girls to respond to it and cope with it, because this is the age when girls still look up to their parents and teachers. The truth is, there are many social situations that are not solved with a simple, “Please don’t do that,” kind of interaction.

What are some of the strategies you offer in your book, Little Girls Can Be Mean, to help young girls deal with tough social situations?

Dr. Anthony: Girls will sometimes act very meanly, but at the heart of it, they are not mean girls. They are, more often than not, nice girls who don’t have enough tools to be assertive without slipping into being aggressive. Most children will need to learn to cope with meanness, and most will act in mean ways toward friends at some point or another.

Realize that whether your daughter is a target, bystander, or mean girl, she is trying to fit in and find power in her relationships, and that she is doing the best she can with the skills she has. That’s when you can come in with the Four Steps and help her move forward from there:

Step 1: Observe your child in new ways and with new eyes, seeking to understand who she is socially. Recognize when things go awry — she suddenly stops liking favorite activities, starts more fights, complains of illness, etc.
Step 2: Connect with her, without taking over. Ask questions; empathize. Let her know you are on her side before switching into problem-solving mode.
Step 3: Guide her. Work together to create a doable list of possible actions she can take.
Step 4: Support her to act on one or two of the actions that she chooses. Be an interested but not overly invested observer and follow up with the Four Steps again to see if more connection, guidance or support to take new actions is warranted.

Read more expert parenting advice

Parenting Guru: Can girls dodge the drama years?
Parenting Guru: What it takes to make friends
Parenting Guru: When you stop enabling

The cakes from Eat Cakes are more than simple desserts. Not only are they delicious, they are so creative and realistic you might not believe that they are edible. But they are. And Liz does it all from her small Iowa kitchen, with her husband and daughters by her side.

Growing up

SheKnows:Liz, share with us a little bit of background. Tell us about your husband and kids.

Liz: I met my husband Allen online in 2001. After a few months of knowing each other, I took a risk and moved from Buffalo, New York to Iowa where he lived. We got married two years later and now we have two little girls, Evelyn who is 7 and Aubrey who is 4.

SK: Where did you grow up, how many siblings did you have?

Liz: I grew up right outside of Buffalo, New York in a little town called Depew, and I have one older sister named Shannon.

SK: What was your life like as a child?

Liz: Not very good, to be honest. I was made fun of a lot, mostly for my weight. I was also a smart kid and liked helping out, so I got the whole "brown-noser" thing a lot when the truth was that I didn't ever feel like I fit in with any of the people my age. My parents had a very difficult marriage which made home life less than ideal, they ended up separating and eventually divorcing when I was 13.

Sowing the seeds for baking

SK: Did your parents do a lot of baking when you were small?

Liz: Not at all. My mom baked a little, but more than that we would make chocolate candies together for holidays, the kind you melt and pour into molds. That was something I remember doing from the time I was really young and I actually have the same molds to use with my own kids now.

SK: When did you start learning how to cook, and what sorts of thing did you make when you first started out?

Liz: I can't ever remember not cooking, to be honest. I'd guess around 6 or 7. I started out
with eggs, because they are easy to cook! My sister and I used to make all kinds of scrambled egg concoctions. She's four years older than me and I remember learning a lot about basic cooking from her.

Eat Cakes

SK:When did you start making cakes?

Liz: I started making cakes probably around the time I was 10 or so. I loved baking, and cake has just always made me feel good, it's always felt right.

SK:How did you go from “regular” cakes to the amazingly detailed specialty cakes you create today?

Liz: Well, when I was younger, making cakes "pretty" wasn't a concern at all. As long as they weren't burnt and didn't fall apart, that was totally good enough for me. Then in high school I was in French Club, and we had a bake sale. I made a Black Forest Cake — chocolate cake filled with cherry pie filling, smothered in whipped cream and chocolate curls [on top]. It looked super delicious and I felt pretty proud, but even more so when I found out that two older girls had pooled their money together to buy it because it looked so good. That was the first time I ever really thought about taking cake to the next level.

After that it was years before I thought about it again — after high school I went to college for art and then moved to Iowa and became vegan, so I barely baked for a few years. Then we had Evelyn, and as her first birthday started approaching I couldn't imagine anyone else making her first cake. I had this doll cake for my first birthday and I wanted to recreate it for hers, so I did. Once I did that cake I didn't stop making cakes; everything just seemed to fall into place.

SK:How did you decide to make a business out of your creative love for cake baking and decorating?

Liz: At first it was just something I liked to do, but once people saw what I did they wanted to buy my cakes. It was pretty shocking to me but I figured, why not get paid for something I enjoyed doing.

SK:How did you decide on the name, “Eat Cakes?”

Liz: Well like I said, I was teased a lot when I was little for being fat. Part of what I was teased about was my name. More specifically, my initials, which were E.A.T. Growing up as a fat little girl, I'm sure you can imagine that having E A T as your initials is just fuel to bully fire, and I was tormented constantly for it. So a couple years ago, when we were in the process of ordering new business cards, my husband asked if I was in love with the name we had previously chosen. I wasn't stuck on it, and asked what he thought I should name it instead, and he suggested Eat Cakes, as a way to turn something so negative into something positive.

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SK:Do you come up with your ideas, or do your customers? Or is it a bit of both?

Liz: It's a little of both. More often than not my customers will at least have a general idea of what they're looking for. Whether it's a theme or a character or what have you. I take their ideas and draw up a couple sketches based on them — usually I'll draw up a simple idea and a more complex one, to give them multiple cakes to choose from at different price points.

On the rare occasion that my customer has no clue what they want, I will draw up a couple different designs to choose from. Everything is customized, from colors to flavors of the cake, to specially personalized details like private jokes. I've even turned tattoos into wedding cake toppers!

Cake baking and parenting

SK:Do your kids and husband get involved in your work?

Liz: Yes, because I make them! Haha! My husband actually helps me out with a lot of the baking, and will dye fondant for me and roll it out if I have a lot to do. I've started teaching him simple decorating skills so he can eventually be my right-hand when I'm working to let me take on more orders. He's also amazing at looking at what I've done and suggesting little touches that finish my cakes perfectly.

More than anything though, he helps ground me. I get completely wrapped up in my work, and frequently I stress myself out trying to achieve perfection. He's always there to encourage me, and help me to relax.

My kids love what I do. They love watching, they love taste-testing, and they love that they get whatever cake they want for their birthdays. They tell me I'm the best cake baker ever, which I have to admit feels pretty good! They also help with designing the cakes — I can show them a drawing and since they are kids, they give me honest feedback. A large majority of my work is actually cakes for kids, so to have my own kids at home telling me "Mom that's awesome!" makes me feel more confident that the recipient of my cake will love it too.

SK:How have you had the time to build up your business while being a stay-at-home mom?

Liz: I do most of my work while the girls are in school or asleep. Being at home allows me time during the day to promote my business on Facebook and return calls and emails to customers, which is really nice.

SK:What is the biggest challenge you’ve dealt with in juggling home, family and career?

Liz: Not having enough hands or space! We have a fairly small kitchen, and since I work in my kitchen and dining room, I'm right in the middle of everything. So when my kids are home, I can't just shut the door and work, I have to keep stopping to help them and get them stuff and do things for them. That makes my time spent working stretch out a lot longer!

SK:And what is the biggest reward?

Liz: I am very grateful that this is something I can do from home, even though we don't have a ton of space. It was always very important to me to stay home with my kids until they were in school full time. As much as it drives me nuts to be interrupted a billion times, at the same time it makes me happy that I'm not missing out on my kids — I'm right there with them every day.

Looking to the future

SK:As your kids grow, you’ll probably want to expand your business. What are your plans for Eat Cakes in the future?

Liz: We are planning on opening a storefront in the next couple of years, which will be a full service bakery and custom cake shop all in one.

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It seems like, lately, busy is the new black. You hear it every day from fellow moms — "we're just so BUSY."

The glorification of "busy" for moms

While some families certainly do have schedules that would make your Google Calendar cry, doesn't it seem like proclaiming you're busy is just the hottest new way to tell other moms that you're doing it all?

Busy: The hottest new trend for moms

It's hard to pinpoint when this happened or even why, but we suspect that somewhere over the past few years, as Pinterest and social media started to latch on to the world of motherhood and suddenly you could see exactly what other moms were doing, a new brand of moms was launched — the Busy Moms. In actuality, these moms have been there all along — the Mrs. Jones in that whole "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality — the ones who are happy to tell you everything they are doing — volunteering twice a week in her child's classroom and planning a charity run and taking yoga every morning at 10 a.m. and how they're doing it without breaking a sweat.

And just like that, being busy was cool. It was a conversation piece and the automatic "how are you?" response for moms. In a world where many moms want to feel like they can do it all — from making gourmet, healthy meals for their family every single night to being an expert crafter who has an Etsy business, to having a successful career to coaching their child's soccer team — this generation of moms are taking it all on, and with the goal of being busy leading their mantra.

Some wise words from a busy mom about having it all: From lunch packing to law school briefs>>

Are we really that busy?

So, are we really as busy as we say we are? There's no doubt that being a mom can push your schedule to insane limits, especially as your kids become the age where you are practically a shuttle, running from sports to dance to play dates, squeezing homework, meals and family time somewhere in between. But being busy is also about making choices for ourselves, isn't it? And, about accepting that we can be as busy, or as un-busy as we choose to be and that no matter how busy we are, that is what we have designed for ourselves.

If you're feeling particularly busy and find yourself using it as a reason to not focus on the things that are most important to you or to your family, it's time to re-evaluate your priorities. Some are surely unavoidable, but make it a goal to spend an entire month making no unnecessary commitments or choose one day of the week that is 100 percent unscheduled to see if that helps alleviate how busy you're feeling.

Replacing the word "busy" in your vocabulary

One of the first steps that all moms can take, regardless of how busy you are, is to stop using the word "busy" as your go-to emotion. When you feel like you're about to launch into a conversation about being busy, change the direction and instead, talk about some of the cool things you're working on at home, with your kids or at work. Busy is somewhat of a state of mind — the more you focus on being busy or how busy you are, the more it consumes you. Yes, you probably are busy, but don't let it become who you are.

Friends don't let friends use busy as an excuse

The other epidemic behind being "busy" is that it's easy to put off time with friends and family due to having too much on your plate... or by giving the impression that you are too busy to get together for those fun evening wine sessions with your best girlfriends or to spend the weekend with family out of town. If you keep telling people how busy you are, eventually they're going to get the hint and stop making the effort to keep you involved, saying that they didn't want to pull you away from what has been keeping you so busy.

If you are on the other side of the busy coin and have a friend who can't seem to get her head out of her calendar, be persistent and kind. Offer to work around her schedule or join her on the soccer sidelines or for her spin class. You may have to think out-of-the-box to maintain a friendship, but put the effort in and hopefully she will respond.

Lastly, try to remember that everyone is busy. Being busy and being a mom goes hand-in-hand and your busy isn't any more valuable than another mom's busy. Regardless of how busy you are, be respectful of the ways that other moms feel they are busy too — trying to compare how busy you are to another mom only sets us all back as moms, and likely only clutters your already busy mind!

More on time management for moms

Time management tips for working moms
Finding time: Time management tips for new moms
Working Mom 3.0: When you're the team

Handling your child's emotions

Does your little one burst into tears at the drop of a hat? Does she always feel like someone’s laughing at her? Learn how to nurture your sensitive child and when you should talk to your pediatrician.

Little kids with
big feelings

Kids are sensitive by nature. With very few exceptions, it’s perfectly normal for boys and girls to have strong emotions during childhood. Discover ways to handle your child's emotions, and when it may be time to talk to your child's pediatrician.

Don’t shame kids for outbursts

We live in a world that doesn’t always celebrate sensitivity. Kids are told to “grow up,” to stop crying, to control their emotions. Practice patience and acceptance with your child. For example, if you’re at a gathering and your child becomes upset and cries in front of others, don’t shame him for the way he feels. Give your child a safe place to calm down. Avoid using hurtful phrases like “cry baby.” Instead, talk about what upset your child. Anger, embarrassment and sadness are normal emotions during childhood. Some kids express these feelings more strongly than others, and they should never be made to feel ashamed of having big feelings.

Help kids feel safe

Sensitivity often comes in the form of having fears. You may have a child who hangs back in groups or who doesn’t want to do things that other kids are doing. Parenting expert Anastasia Gavalas recommends giving kids space and time to mature and get used to activities that cause fear and anxiety. “Sensitive children just need to feel safe but not smothered,” says Gavalas. “They need to be encouraged to explore and do [so] on their own so they can build up confidence and recognize their own strength.” Avoid arguing or pushing your child into doing things that scare her. A struggle will only make things worse.

Learn what to do when parents disagree on discipline>>

Teach coping strategies

While you should give your kids space to feel their feelings, you should also give them tools to cope with big emotions. Coping strategies can be as simple as teaching your child to recognize and accept feelings like frustration, anger and sadness. Try using charts with different expressions for younger kids. Encourage healthy ways to release anger, such as counting or throwing a ball. Parenting coach Dr. Richard Horowitz of Growing Great Relationships advises parents to be aware of their child’s triggers and rehearse ways to deal with meltdowns. “Help your child understand his triggers before he reacts and how to utilize self-calming techniques,” Dr. Horowitz says. “When a child is in full-blown emotional meltdown, do not try to reason with them. It can take up to 20 minutes for the emotional brain to calm down so that reasoning can take place.”

Are you winning against whining? >>

Know when to seek professional help

A child who is frequently upset, anxious or depressed may be experiencing serious issues beyond natural sensitivity. If you’re concerned with your child’s behavior, talk to your child’s doctor about next steps. Make sure that your child feels safe at school and with other adults in her life. Impairment is a good measurement to use when deciding if you should seek a referral to a mental health professional. “It is an impairment when it significantly interferes with daily functioning,” Dr. Horowitz says. “If your child has a yelling tantrum in the car on the way to an activity but can calm down when you arrive, then the tantrum can be ignored because it has not interfered with the activity itself.” If your child’s emotions interfere with activities regularly, it’s time to talk to her doctor.

More child development

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Your top 10 discipline problems solved
Positive discipline: Why time outs don’t work

Getting to the root of the problem

Tired of hearing your teen complain about how much she hates school? Maybe she's not just whining because she doesn't want to do the homework. Get to the root of your teen's school hatred.

"Mom! School sucks"

Communicate with your child’s teacher

Elaine Sigal, president of Stizzil, encourages parents of kids who are complaining about school to talk with their child’s teacher.

Via email communication or a brief meeting, parents can obtain a lot of information that can help them help their child. Sigal suggests asking “if the teacher recognizes the strengths and weaknesses of the child. Find out what they are.”

She also suggests finding out about the teacher’s homework and behavioral policies as well as how your child is stacking up in class so far.

Sigal stresses, “Find out what you can do to help the teacher help your child: Ask this question!”

Communicate with your child

Sigal also suggests talking to your child to try to narrow down what it is about school that he or she “hates.”

Sigal suggests, “Ask your child open ended questions [like] who has been friendly, who gets into trouble, who is getting good grades... respond to his/her answers.”

Be sure bullying isn’t the problem

Walter G. Meyer, public speaker and author of Rounding Third, says, “Finding out why a child doesn't want to go to school is crucial to solving the problem.”

He adds, “Often children are reluctant to tell their parents that they are being bullied and the first signs can be feigned illnesses — the child makes excuses to stay home or [there's] a sudden drop in grades from an otherwise good student.“

7 Bullying resources for parents >>

Meyer says, “If a bully is the reason the child doesn't want to go to school, working with the school to ensure the child's safety is the solution.”

Encourage your child to get involved

Perhaps the reason your child “hates” school is that he’s having a hard time fitting in or finding something that interests him. Deborah Gilboa, MD, board certified family physician, mom of four and founder of AskDoctorG.com advises, “Suggest that your student do one thing at school that holds their interest, and accept that it may be the only part of school that is fun for a while.”

Help your child hone an extracurricular activity >>

She adds, “Ask them to identify something they love to do after school, and encourage them to hold it as a ’carrot’ for themselves. This builds their own resilience and planning skills.”

Get involved

Rebecca Thiegs, co-founder and VP of education for StageofLife.com, encourages parents of unhappy students to get involved in their kids’ lives. As a teacher for the past 15 years, Thiegs has found some common denominators when it comes to parents who are concerned about their teen students saying, the parents:

• get involved in their sons’ and daughters’ lives
• talk to both the guidance office and the classroom teacher in a collaborative manner
• communicate regularly with their kids at home
• most importantly, spend time with their teens

Don't forget the importance of praising your kids >>

Thiegs continues, "Using these characteristics as a template, I would encourage any parent having a problem with their child in high school to engage [in] those four activities."

More on kids and school

Help your child excel in school
What to do if your kid doesn't fit in
How to help your shy child extend himself

Sometimes co-sleeping lasts longer than it was originally expected to, and a member of the "family bed" must resort to the couch or a blow-up air mattress on a nightly basis.

If it's too crowded,
it's not working

If this is the situation in your home, it may seem like nothing will ever change. How do you get the kids back in their own bed?

It's accidental

It happens innocently enough; parents who share a bed with their infant because they believe in the benefits of co-sleeping. Or it may have not started in such a concrete manner. Perhaps one parent brought a fussy baby into bed every now and then. Then all of a sudden, months and months have passed and the one-time-newborn is now a 30-pound toddler sleeping diagonally across the parents' bed. Such is the case of the accidental family bed, and most parents who have found themselves in this situation can attest to the difficulty of getting out of it. The books, strict bedtimes, baths, extra-long romps at the park during the day no longer help at this point. The remedy to this situation is, usually, Dad moving to the couch.

One Mom's story

Bridget Mann, who co-slept with both of her girls, said eldest daughter Laney stayed in the family bed until she was almost 3 years old. But once Laney was transitioning out, her younger sister Kiera moved in.

"First we tried her sleeping in her own bed and she cried every night," Bridget said. "Then I started making a little bed of blankets and cushions for her at our bedside. She really felt special in that, being all by herself."

The transition took about a year for Laney to sleep in her own bed, Bridget said.

Her advice to parents looking to reclaim their sleeping sanctuary is taking the child's point of view into consideration.

"From an evolutionary perspective, it is a survival instinct of children to want to sleep with their parents," she said. "That's why making them feel really safe before bed is really important."

Secondly, make the transition slowly and in small steps.

"Read your child and your own emotions and let that be a guide to what you do," she said.

Advice from the professionals

Many parenting books and health care professionals will tell you exactly the same thing.

"Structure, routine, and consistency work for all age levels and more importantly, all developmental levels," said Jayme Tortorelli, a registered nurse and mother. "For example, it is very important to give toddlers choices whenever possible. This could be something like picking out a night light together or asking them what stuffed animals they want to sleep with."

Other advice professionals routinely tell parents is to make the child's room colorful or consider having one parent sleep on an air mattress next to the child's bed for the first few nights. When all else fails, and your family is experiencing unnecessary stress because of lack of sleep, you may have to take a more hardline approach, such as letting the child cry in bed for progressively longer periods before checking on him.

Read more on children and sleeping

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Breastfeeding moms get more sleep at night
7 Top lullabies

It seems like all around you, your mom friends are either pinning some kid-inspired DIY idea to Pinterest or posting their latest homemade creation on Facebook.

Not a crafty mom?
Don't apologize!

Your best attempt at a craft is drawing a stick figure on the note you put in your child’s lunch. So how do you not feel the social media pressure to become suddenly crafty and tap into your own talents instead?

Quit having a DIY envy pity party

When clicking through Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, , it's easy to feel like you're back in school again, walking the halls of your junior high or high school and feeling as if every girl around you has on a better, more fashionable outfit. We all remember them — the girls who looked so effortlessly put together in outfit combinations we don't remember seeing at the mall. And now those same girls are the moms we see splattering photos of their latest DIY crafts across social media and making us feel envious yet again.

Well, the pity party needs to stop here and now. Log off and repeat this mantra: Just because I don't feel I'm a crafty mom, doesn't mean I don't have things to offer my child. And it also doesn't mean I can't succeed at a DIY project...

5 fun ways Pinterest can inspire your life>>

Was your last DIY attempt an epic fail?

Tell us you've at least tried to make something yourself. Because if you haven't, that's the first place to start. There are a lot of, shall we say, easier projects out there that might take a lot less time and effort than you think. There's tons of help out there, like the Pinterest tutorials board which offers a step-by-step guide in how to make just about anything.

Although it is important to know your limitations. If you can't draw, don't take on a project that involves drawing. You get the idea. But if you can't do so much as glue a button on a piece of paper without it turning into a mess, it's OK. It's time to figure out what "non-crafty" things you can do for your child.

You don't have to be crafty to be creative

Are you a writer? If so, write a poem or a story for your little one. Do you have a love of art? Take her to a museum. Whatever your expertise, there is a way for you to share that with your child. It's important to remember that just because you don't have something handmade to give her, doesn't mean you aren't creative.

And whatever you end up doing, don't forget to post a picture on that social networking site of you and your child enjoying yourselves!

Don't forget, it's the thought that counts

When your child comes home from school with a craft she made for you that's so confusing it takes you a while to figure out what it is, you would never tell her that she failed to make you happy. The same can be said for anything you create for your son or daughter. Your child will be happy with whatever you are able to do for her simply because it's an act of love.

Read more about DIY

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DIY crafts for kids

Kristen Bell

Actress Kristen Bell shows off her tiny baby bump in a plaid shirt and yoga pants while out walking her dog in Los Feliz, California this week.

Bell, 32, and her fiance, Parenthood star Dax Shepard,  are expecting their first child in late spring and sources say they are “ecstatic” to be parents.

“Kristen had a little bit of morning sickness early on but she just started shooting the second season of House of Lies and is feeling great now,” Dax told Jay Leno while appearing on The Tonight Show.

Dax went on to say that his mom is over the moon. “My mom is probably the most excited. It's an unhealthy thing — I don't recommend it — but she has a Google alert on my name, so if I do anything, she finds out about it, basically,” he joked.

The couple has been engaged for three years, however say they are holding out on a wedding. “The reason we're not rushing to get married is because I don't feel appropriate taking advantage of a right that's denied to my [gay and lesbian] friends,” she said.

Next up: Get Shakira’s cool black maternity leggings

Photo: Celebrity Baby Scoop - Celebrity Mom and Baby News

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Shakira

Pregnant Shakira looked like one rockin’ mom-to-be as she was spotted walking through the Barcelona airport. The Columbian singer is wearing Isabella Oliver Maternity Ruched Leggings in Caviar Black paired with a black leather jacket and booties.

Shakira, 35, confirmed that she and her boyfriend, footballer Gerard Pique, are expecting a boy.

“Gerard and I are very happy awaiting the arrival of our first baby!“ she wrote on her Facebook page.

“In a few minutes it will be our baby's first time on stage and precisely at a football event! Magic,” she recently tweeted.

It sounds like this baby will be ready to go on tour!

Next up:  Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles wraps her bump up for Christmas

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Jennifer Nettles

Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles showed off her baby bump in a red dress paired with a boa as she performed at the 2012 CMA Country Christmas, which is an event held in conjunction with the CMAs in Nashville, Tennessee at the Bridgestone Arena.

The 38-year-old singer is expecting her first child with husband Justin Miller this month — or, by the looks of it, any day now!

In fact, Carrie Underwood spoke about that very thing two days before the Country Christmas show during the CMAs, in which Nettles was sitting in the audience. “What happens if Jennifer Nettles goes into labor tonight?” she joked to the crowd.

Luckily, Nettles didn’t go into labor either night — however by the time the Country Christmas Concert airs the singer will have a little baby to cuddle.

Next up: Gisele Bundchen shows off her baby bump in a skimpy bikini

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Gisele Bundchen

Pregnant Gisele Bundchen wore an animal print bikini as she lounged in the sun in Miami Beach. The supermodel is expecting her second child with NFL quarterback Tom Brady.

“We really do love to travel, but being parents, we travel less now than we have in the past," Gisele told People. “There is nothing more rewarding than to come home and seeing them after a long day of work.“

Gisele and Tom are parents to 2-year-old Benjamin, and Tom has a son, 5-year-old John, from a previous relationship with Bridget Moynahan.

No word yet if Bundchen is expecting a boy or a girl! What do you think?

Next up: Holly Madison is six months pregnant!

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Holly Madison

The Girls Next Door star Holly Madison posted this photo and said that her belly has popped!

“Da**! My belly popped out of nowhere!” she wrote on her blog. “I just hit the 6 month mark and it’s like my belly got big overnight! Here’s a photo from a few nights ago when I first noticed it. Moms out there — when did you notice your belly pop?”

Find out when pregnant moms start to show here>>

Madison and her boyfriend Pasquale Rotella are expecting a baby girl.

“I'm really excited about decorating the nursery, so we've already started buying some things there.“

“I don't want to say what the names are, but I will say that they're very unusual,“ she said. “Kind of Apple-ish, along those lines. I don't like common names at all. If I've heard it before on somebody more than one time, it's out!“

From Megan Fox to Claire Danes, check out more cute celebrity baby bumps here>>

Photo of Holly Madison courtesy of Celebrity Baby Scoop; all other photos WENN unless noted

Studies say those with self-compassion achieve more and accomplish more goals. Harness your own compassion for yourself in parenting, life and all your aspirations.

Have compassion...
for yourself

Jennifer Gaddis, creator of the site HeelsandJeans.com, was recently in a conference with her 9-year-old's teacher. Her son wasn't doing well in class. After the conference, she mentally beat herself up for not doing enough to help him — which just made everything worse.

She was lacking compassion for herself. "Finally I sat down and I thought, how can we make it better? To harness compassion for one's self, you must — and always — stop blaming yourself. Ask yourself how can you make it better? Tomorrow will be a new day," says Gaddis.

Experts say that self-compassion, a challenging goal, is important to achieving your goals since it allows you to roll with the punches and move ahead.

"My theory is this: Women are raised to constantly compare ourselves to something other than what we are — everything from how we look to our jobs, our parenting, our marriage, our 'success.' It's always about looking out, around us, and then never living up to that perceived better standard," says Sara DiVello, a registered yoga teacher who is certified with the Yoga Alliance. "The result is a combination of constant comparison which creates co-morbid anxiety — women are stressed about how they don't measure up and are also in a state of constant mental activity from all this comparing."

Gaining perspective

So, how do you de-stress and allow yourself that necessary self-compassion? DiVello suggests taking a step back. "Take a moment to sit down. Often, we're stressed but we don't take the time to sit down and deal with it — instead, we continue rushing around, absentmindedly stressing about how stressed we are... which only escalates our stress," says DiVello.

Then, give yourself a chance to focus. Think of what's stressing you out and take a deep breath. Exhale and flick your hands as though you're trying to get something off of them . Also known as the 'there's no paper towels in the restroom flick.' Repeat three to five times. Now, settle into extended exhale breathing with the eyes closed for three to five minutes," says DiVello.

And guess what? I tried this... it really does help.

Achieving your goals

Having self-compassion makes embracing failure — the necessary things that we can all learn from — useful tools in our quests to reach our dreams. And as daunting as it may seem to skip the self-berating and learn from our mistakes, it is key to achieving your goals. "Self-compassion is kindness toward yourself and your mistakes. It helps you get up from failure, survive a divorce and be more joyful in the present. Yes, it can also help you be a better parent because you will have compassion for your kids when they make mistakes," says Maryann Reid, lifestyle expert at www.alphanista.com.

Start with small changes that begin to free yourself from the negative talk that holds you back, says Kathryn Vercillo, author of Crochet Saved My Life. "It can be daunting to try to change that negative self-talk in those large areas of life since they are so ingrained into the way that we think. By starting small, in just one area like crafting, we can begin to learn to nip that negativity in the bud," says Vercillo.

For Vercillo, that's meant crocheting with abandon — and not taking a negative tone with the results. What will it mean for you?

More from Chasing the Dream

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“Kids rooms are becoming much more adapted to align with each child’s unique personality and character," says Kurt Knapstein, owner of Knapstein Design, Allied ASID. "Embroidered and fun furry fabrics are a popular trend right now, and colorful palettes are hot as well, giving a room a sense of cheerfulness.”  

No longer do we have to "think pink" for a girl or blue for a boy. Many are getting tired of the blue and pink kiddie-like themes," says Peter Emmenegger, Studio PLUUNK furniture designers in Ontario. Give your child a room that's age-appropriate but still leaves room to grow.

Owls

Owls are all the rage this year, and Target has some of the cutest owls around. The Circo Love n Nature Twin Bedding Set includes a twin comforter, sham and sheet set. Your little girl will adore the colorful round trees, spiky little hedgehogs and friendly, big-eyed owls.

The set is also available in a yellow and blue pattern that is ideal for little boys. And the theme can be continued with lamps, bath accessories, storage containers and much more!

Animal prints

Kids are not immune to the style trends set by celebrities, and everyone from Disney sweethearts to Snooki is sporting cheetah, leopard and zebra prints. A Zebra Kids Twin Comforter Set brings a splash of celebrity style to any girl’s bedroom. The black-and-white zebra print comforter and sham are complemented by a pink bed skirt and sheet set for a trendy, girly effect.

Girls don’t have dibs on animal prints. The American Denim 3-Piece twin XL Blue Jean Bedding Comforter Set features a fab zebra print with cotton denim that is suitable for boys of all ages.

More tips for decorating your kid's room

Artsy, interactive decor for kids
5 Ways to trick out your kid's room
Easy ways to switch a nursery to a kid's room

Raising a smart child has a lot to do with cultivating emotional intelligence and empathy. Smart, successful leaders possess these qualities as well as listening and interpersonal skills, but today’s parents are challenged by having a wide range of technological tools, information and simulated experiences so that anything that piques a child’s curiosity can be retrieved literally in seconds thanks to the technological capabilities of our world.

Gone are the days of researching topics in an encyclopedia at the library. However, one irreplaceable tool that will never become outdated is what parents and caregivers bring to learning and especially the reading process, even if it is on a Kindle or iPad.

Parent involvement in reading is a tool that no computer can replicate. Parents and caregivers modeling strategies and investing in caring and thought provoking discussions will extend a child’s understanding. These priceless learning experiences not only make a child smarter but encourage them to continue to think deeper about topics as they grow and develop.

Dr. Erika Burton, Ph.D., an education expert and founder of the reading program, Stepping Stones Together says there are six key ways parents can encourage their child to exercise their higher order thinking skills:

Research supports early vocabulary development is the key to a child’s strong lifelong reading comprehension skills. Help your child develop strong vocabulary skills through identification of the world around them. Additionally, develop a child’s working vocabulary through using synonyms to describe words that your child may already know. Any time you can have your child experience a new vocabulary word by introducing the meaning and showing her the word in context will build new words into her usable vocabulary.

Many children begin reading by sounding out words, however, ask them what they read and they shrug their shoulders. Modeling how to make predictions is essential to beginning reading success. Read the title of any story before reading it and model how to make a prediction based on the cover and title of a story.

Study the pictures throughout a book before reading it. Ask your child what he thinks is going on in each picture. Have him make predictions based solely on the illustrations and inferences about potential problems within the story.

Beginning readers need practice and observation to become fluent readers. Encourage readers to read to and with you. More advanced readers benefit from shared reading opportunities as well.

Young and mature readers alike need proper modeling and practice to think beyond the text. This includes the ability to make inferences, compare and contrast ideas, and understand character traits. Parents or caregivers who discuss the moral, plot, or setting within a story or provide background knowledge for a non-fiction topic not only help their children become smarter but provide them with lifelong tools they will use in their future to continue to foster higher order thinking skills for life.

Krista Guenther, certified infant and child sleep consultant and founder of Sleeperific, says making sure your child gets a good night sleep is also important when maximizing your child's potential, explaining, "Higher quality and quantity of sleep has been correlated to better intelligence and better behavior. Conversely, children with behavioral sleep problems, snoring or sleep apnea tend to be more likely to have deficits with memory, behavioral and attention, as well as lowered academic performance. Better sleep leads to better cognitive function, better memory and better school performance."

More about raising smart children

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Preparing your child for kindergarten

There are so many important lessons taught in the preschool years. Find out the most important ones and how you can reinforce them at home so your child is prepared for kindergarten and beyond.

Reinforce important lessons at home

Preschool isn't just about circle time and finger painting. It's an important time to learn concepts that set kids up for learning to read on their own, writing their names and more. But it's not just important to have them learn at school — the most important concepts need reinforcing at home too.

The alphabet

It goes without saying that the alphabet is a critical element for children to learn. It's the cornerstone of reading, writing and even mathematics. So, learning this important preschool lesson is of the utmost importance.

But it goes farther than even that, experts say. "Research has proven that children who start kindergarten knowing only a handful of letter names , typically do not make many strides in learning to read over their kindergarten year. Even in a print rich, literacy focused kindergarten, they have much further to go than peers who know the letter names and are now learning letter sounds," says Grace Shickler, principal of High Meadows School in Roswell, Georgia.

Warm up your vocal cords! It's time to get singing those ABCs in the car, at bath time and whenever else you can. But that's not all you can do. "Preschoolers can manipulate magnetic letters on the refrigerator while they... sing the alphabet song. Then, to reinforce each individual letter name, parents can hide letters in a room, perhaps five at a time, for a child to find. Upon finding them, the name of the letter can be reinforced. This game can be adapted for the child who already knows the names but now needs to practice knowing the sound it makes or a word that begins with that letter. Start with the letters in the child's name," suggests Shickler.

Read6 tips to get your child reading>>

Fine motor skills

Coloring, playing with Play-Doh and cutting out shapes aren't just crafty ways to pass the time in preschool. These activities also help children hone the ever-so-important fine motor skills.

Why are these skills important? They help kids develop their hand muscles that are necessary for the proper grip of a pencil , writing legibly and cutting with precision.

Practice at home by having your child write his name. "Parents can practice this by teaching letters, then practicing writing their name in something they could touch, like sand, shaving cream, or using Play-Doh to make the letters," suggests Amy Bonner, a former kindergarten teacher.

Is your child ready to start music lessons?>>

Rhyming

Is your kid a Seuss-aholic? That's a very good thing. Learning what a rhyme is, what it sounds like and how it's used is an important skill as well. "Rhyme is a basic function of phonemic awareness and is essential to helping children crack the code of reading," says Shickler.

Practice this at home by teaching your child rhyming words, reading to them from rhyming books and asking them questions to get them thinking about words that rhyme. "Nursery rhymes, traditional and modern, are a time-tested way of building rhyme awareness. After hearing the rhyme over and over, a child might enjoy having the parent leave the rhyming word out so they can supply it: Jack and Jill, went up the… what," says Shickler.

Get8 tips for building the best home library for your child>>

Etiquette

Preschool is often the first brush with the so-called real world for kids... and it shouldn't be the first time that kids have to take turns or share. Basic etiquette is an important preschool lesson — and an even more important home lesson. Who wants the impolite kid? "Skills like waiting patiently, using a quiet voice, asking politely, being helpful, being gentle, saying please and thank you, etc., are all lessons that should be reinforced constantly at home. They are vital to a functional environment ," says former preschool teacher Angelica Menefee.

Read more on teaching your child proper etiquette here>>

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Daniel and Toni

Toni, Daniel and Lanie from Fort Polk, Louisiana

Daniel is currently serving in the U.S. Army.

The hardest part about them being away is them missing out on everything you do. Birthdays, anniversaries, etc. Also if you have something very important to tell them you are not always able to. You are always waiting for them to get online or call.

His first tour was in 2003 and all we had was snail mail to keep in touch. It was rough, with maybe one phone call a month. After time and conditions improved overseas we were able to keep in contact with instant messenger and video chats.

Homecomings are hard to put into words. It's a feeling you can't describe to be able to see/feel his touch, his kisses again after months apart. And to see the look and happiness on your kid’s face to see Daddy is priceless. The hardest part about homecoming is letting them adjust back to normal life. Teaching them how you have been holding down the house and kids for the last year without making them feel left out.

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David and Ashley

David, Ashley, Alexis, Mackenzie, Ethan from Kronenwetter, Wisconsin

David is currently serving in the Wisconsin Army National Guard and served 6-1/2 years of active duty with the 2-508th Airborne Infantry Regiment out of Fort Bragg, North Carolina.

It is hard for your husband to be away for a deployment. Everything that could go wrong usually goes wrong within the first month of his absence. I try to remember that I have the kids and my family; that I am not alone. My husband has his fellow soldiers and is going away to a dangerous and unfamiliar place. I think the hardest part while my husband is away is when he misses moments that you cannot get back — such as the birth of our second daughter. She was 6 months old the first time he met her. The all-time hardest thing is the what ifs... what if he's injured, what if he's killed, and so on.

On the first deployment to Afghanistan, it was letters and a phone call maybe once a week. During the second deployment, we wrote letters and he called home a couple times a week. We were lucky and toward the end of deployment number two, we were able to Skype with webcams.

Homecoming is nerve-wracking, exciting and terribly sad all at the same time. You are a little nervous about seeing them, which is so weird. You get butterflies in your stomach thinking about your first kiss in a really long time. It's exciting to get the house perfect, make signs, and pick out that perfect outfit for you and the kids. It is terribly sad when you realize that some of your husband's fellow soldiers will not be getting off the plane to be greeted by family... because they made the ultimate sacrifice and died serving our country and protecting our freedom.

My husband is going to continue his military career into the age of retirement or beyond. He loves what he does and I couldn't be more proud. My husband's military career has helped us get a great start in the civilian life. We were able to become homeowners by the age of 23. We have had the opportunity to meet some great people along the way. We have excellent health insurance.

However, with all of the perks comes great sacrifice. We cannot get back all the things that my husband has missed out on and that makes me sad. We lost a great friend this year, when his old unit deployed. My husband has lost countless friends and fellow soldiers. It was very hard for our family to transition into the civilian life, even though he continued his service by going into the National Guard. I have had to put getting my bachelor's degree on hold because I want to focus on my family and we don't have the money for me to go.

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Sam and Vivid

Vivid, Sam, Enolah and Soren from Quantico, Virginia

Sam is currently serving in the U.S. Marine Corps.

My husband has deployed twice before but that was before we had kids. It was hard but manageable. He is away now for three months at Marine Corps Drill Instructor School and the hardest parts are explaining it to our daughter in a way that she can kind of understand, and taking on double duty.

We're able to keep in contact this time around luckily via text late in the evenings. Sam also sends videos now and then for Enolah to watch. This will be the most challenging job he has done, working 20-hour days for most of the 3 years he'll be a drill instructor but it is what he has always wanted to do and will be really good for his career so it's our job to support him so he can support us.

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Erich and Hurley

Erich, Hurley and Annaliese from Fort Wainwright, Alaska

Erich is currently serving in the U.S. Army.

The hardest part for me was just not knowing what was happening when we couldn't talk for days on end. It got to the point that if I didn't hear from him in three days, I thought the worst.

For him, it was missing so much of Annaliese's life. He missed her birth, her first and second birthday, he missed her first steps — he missed a lot. We kept in contact via Skype mostly. When he traveled he was given a phone card for the airports but there was always a time limit.

Homecoming was like he never left. I don’t think we have a typical relationship — a lot of other spouses had a hard time getting situated at first. I think the weird thing was that he had horrible manners like cursing a lot, but otherwise, it was just like before he left.

He has to put the army first. You can ask any commanding officer, they always say, the soldier didn’t marry a spouse, the spouse married the army. And that is so true.

The military allows you to travel and I am really thankful to have been given the chance to live in Alaska. It's beautiful and without the army I probably would have never visited Alaska. I wonder where we'll go next…

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Michael and Whitney

Michael, Whitney and Riley from Port Orchard, Washington

Michael is currently serving in the U.S. Navy.

The hardest part of being away is not being able to see Riley learn new things. Missed his first steps, first serious hospitalization, first day of preschool. Keeping in contact is fairly easy on an aircraft carrier. There's access to internet and email. How often you're able to use those really depends on your job and how much you're working. Last deployment I was working 14-18 hour days so I didn't have much time. This time I'm able to send a few emails a week and the occasional Facebook chat. While in port I'm able to Skype and Tango when I can find Wi-Fi.

When we pull back into the shipyard I'm able to breathe freely. There's nothing better than seeing Riley's face light up because Daddy is home.

Motivation to serve? More like motivation to support my family. It gets hard being away so often but I just remember that I'm doing this so I can take care of my family. This will most likely be my last deployment since we'll be going into a maintenance period for 18 months after we get home and then I'll be on shore duty for two years. I get out in 2017.

Photo credit: Raina Skye Photography

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Mark and Kathryn

Mark, Kathryn and Mark Ayren from Warrensburg, Missouri

Mark is currently serving in the U.S. Air Force.

When my husband and I were just married, I was active duty as well. He ended up getting orders to Grand Forks, North Dakota and I tried my hardest to Join Spouse but since he got orders a month before we got married they wouldn’t allow a Join Spouse. Then I tried to BOP but since there wasn’t any availability they couldn’t PCS me.

So our first year of marriage we were separated by 1700 miles, and only got to see each other for two weeks out of the year for the holidays. We both deployed during this time, but to separate locations . This was the hardest part for us because it took a deployment to get us this close. The only thing that kept my spirits up was the fact that as soon as I got back to California I’d start out-processing for separation and would be moving up to North Dakota to finally get to be with my husband and start a family.

We would be able to call from work occasionally, and they provided “moral phones” in the community center where you could call anyone during your down time. But the best way was Skype. They had a wireless network in the dorms as well as around the living quarter’s side of base so that pretty much no matter where you were or if your roommate was sleeping you’d be able to get online and contact your family.

On my fourth deployment , as we were flying back stateside we hit a head wind which caused us to burn a lot of fuel. We had to stop in Bangor, Maine to refuel. During refuel, they let us off to stretch our legs . As we were making our way down the halls and into the terminal we were greeted by hundreds of people wanting to thank us for serving our country, shaking our hands, giving us hugs and telling us how much they appreciate our dedication to serve. Complete strangers. It was such an overwhelming and proud moment for me that I knew I was doing the right thing for my country.

Deployments, Exercises, and 12+ hour shifts come with the territory. But you made a commitment to your country, and you have no option but to grin and bear all the frustrations and disappointments that come along with serving. You take the good with the bad, and you learn to adjust quickly. For deployments it’s hard for the first two to three months but then everyone gets into a “groove” and you get into a routine that sort of makes life a little easier.

Skype is a wonderful tool for younger children that don’t understand why Mommy or Daddy are gone for long periods of time. They also provide video cameras and children’s books so that you can “read” to your little ones. The fact that I’ve seen both aspects of military life makes things easier for my family. I know all the frustrations that go along with trying to get everything ready to leave and the ache of missing home each passing day, knowing you’re one step closer to coming home.

For most military members , being in the military is just another job. In most cases, serving their country was not the initial reasoning for joining but usually the educational benefits, traveling the world, health care or a steady paycheck. It’s only after you join and you see all the support that the country and your community shows military members that you feel honored to serve your country. For example, when the National Anthem plays on base and you see everyone outside stop what they are doing and put their hand over their hearts that you truly feel proud to be military, or on Memorial Day where people take the time out of their day to go put flags on all the headstones of the veterans that lost their lives serving. It’s the little things that make you proud to serve.

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Michael and Edy

Michael, Edy, Lauren and Emily from St. Joseph, Missouri

Michael is a Navy Veteran — Active Duty.

I think the hardest part of being away from family, for my husband, was coming home eight years later and everything had changed. People had grown up, gotten married, gotten older. It was still coming home, but to a time-lapsed version. He would write and send pictures in emails while deployed, and if you were very lucky, he'd walk a mile to a phone and call you on your birthday. Those were the most exciting and heart wrenching.

We were home from Virginia Beach exactly one month when we found out we were pregnant with our daughter, Emily Harper. She was his first and my second, and so it was a very special experience for him. We had waited until he had finished his enlistment to have a baby, because he had watched friends of his miss the children's births, first words, first Christmases. He says he feels lucky every day he got to be here for those things, and we pray every day for the brave men and women who can't.

My husband is the strongest person I know, in every way. He carries a sense of pride and dedication with him in all he does, stemming from his eight years of service.

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Jake and Laura

Jake, Laura, Davina, Luke, Andy from Wathena, Kansas

Jake is serving in the Missouri National Guard.

Jake says, “The hardest part of being away was missing out on the kids growing up.” He missed Luke's first steps, as well as missed birthday parties and holidays. There are pictures and videos but it isn't the same as being there in person for each moment.

About coming home, talk with someone when you're feeling down — “getting back to normal” won't happen right away and it can sometimes be difficult when communication between spouses isn't that great from being apart.

Deployments are the only time the family is affected in a somewhat negative away — with the absence of father and husband. Otherwise, the family is affected in positive ways. The kids see their dad as an American hero. They understand that when he has Guard weekend, he is doing something important for all. We are all so very proud of Jake.

More about military families

Top 10 military family blogs
Military moms: Parenting from a distance
Military families: Survival guide

by Melissa Lawrence
as told to Julie Weingarden Dubin

I always wanted a big family but sometimes it’s hard to believe I had five kids in 6-1/2 years. My kids , are closely spaced apart. From September 2003, through December 2011, I was basically either pregnant or nursing. The toughest part was bringing home a new baby when my first was only 13 months old and moving the same month! After that, everything seemed easier.

Running a tight ship

My secret is organization. Coordinating everything is how I survive. In my house everyone eats the same thing, everyone naps at the same time and on most days my kids do the same activities. I’m a huge fan of early bedtimes — by 7:30 it's lights out and that gives me a few hours to get my act together.

The tricky thing about having a lot of kids at once is feeling like you can't meet everyone's needs at all times. My children certainly have moments when they want me all to themselves, and those moments tend to be the hardest for me because I feel stressed and inadequate — like I’m not being a good enough mom. But as my life kept getting busier, I sort of learned not to stress too much about the little ups and downs. When I paid less attention to the hiccups, I found that my kids were more settled.

Birth of CloudMom

I started the parenting website, CloudMom, right after the birth of my fifth child, Marielle, in December 2010. Back when I had my first baby I had such a hard time getting a handle on breastfeeding and caring for a newborn that many days I barely made it into the shower, let alone out of the house! By the time I had Marielle, I felt that I had my own little systems and routines that made things easier for me.

I was dying to share what I had been through and learned, so I started filming videos right in the baby's nursery! Having had a prior internet video business and a background in entertainment video had become my passion. So from that CloudMom was born.

CloudMom is a comprehensive video resource for moms offering practical advice. We have more than 100 videos on the first year with your baby — everything from breastfeeding to choosing strollers. We also produce vlogs on issues and create text content where I weigh in on things that are trending in the parenting space. I’ve been through it and I tell it like it is.

Work, love and fulfillment

CloudMom is truly a labor of love for me. I enjoy talking about babies and kids and sharing what I’m going through as a mom. And after years of working in a corporate job, I love that I can work from home, see my kids when they barrel through the door or my littlest when she wakes up from her nap. I feel really blessed to have those moments with them each day while working on something I find so rewarding.

I hope my kids learn the value of family and of working hard at something they love. I feel blessed to have children and I feel grounded by how much I love them… something really crappy can happen and I’ll think, I have these beautiful kids, this is not such a big deal. I believe in following my gut.

Everyone thought we were nuts to have all of these kids but we did it because it was in our hearts. It won’t be easy, but I’m happy to have the challenge.

Hey, Moms: Do you know a mother with a great story? We’re looking for Mom Stories. Email Jrosewriter@gmail.com with your suggestions.

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