Making it all work
Erika is a do-it-all mother — she is currently working toward her Ph.D. while expecting a baby, parenting her 9-year-old son and planning a wedding.
Her academic accomplishments are impressive, especially considering she was a young, single mom when her son was born. Her ability to balance her professional life with pregnancy, raising a child and building a relationship is inspiring.
As a young mom, Erika Fuchs has gone through school while parenting her son, and she’s now expecting her second child while working toward a doctorate — oh, and she’s also planning a wedding! Her experiences as a young, single mom have helped shape her life and her goals as she works hard to balance work, studying and parenting, while nurturing her relationship and planning for the future.
Erika growing up
SheKnows: Erika, tell us a bit about your background. Where were you born, and where did you grow up?
Erika Fuchs: I was born in North Dakota and grew up in a small town in western Minnesota. I still live in Minnesota, but small town life was really never for me.
SK: Did you enjoy going to school when you were young?
EF: Absolutely! I learned how to read at a very young age and was highly encouraged, though never pushed, by my family to excel in school. Often a "teacher's pet" kind of student as a child, I also was in the gifted/talented program and several other academic groups . I was also involved in other activities like band and sports, and I was in several plays as a kid.
SK: What did you want to be when you grew up?
EF: As a very young child, I dreamed of becoming a family physician or an OB-GYN. Of course, childhood dreams can shift as you grow older and know yourself better, and I eventually went in another direction, though it's not too far from those dreams.
Becoming a mom
SK: How old were you when you found out you were expecting a baby?
EF: When I found out I was pregnant with my first, I was 19 years old and about to start my sophomore year of college. I am now 29 and pregnant with my second, in my third year of a Ph.D. program.
SK: What sort of plans did you have for yourself before he was born that you wound up changing, if at all?
EF: As I mentioned, I dreamed of becoming a physician, but knew that it would be very difficult, though not impossible, to properly care for a child as a single mother through medical school without a local support system. Who would watch the baby when I had to work nights or weekends? My plans started to shift, but it wasn't just because I didn't have reliable evening and weekend daycare. My ideas about health and the type of contributions I could and wanted to make to health and science were also changing.
Going to school
SK: When did you start college?
EF: Like many young people, I jumped at the chance to start college as soon as I graduated high school in 2001. I chose a school across the state from most of my family, though still close enough to drive to my hometown once in awhile.
SK: What were your goals in the beginning?
EF: I went in knowing that I wanted to complete a B.S. in biology, which would help me acquire the coursework necessary for applying to medical school. If I did things over again, I might choose another major or take classes in some other areas, but overall I think things worked out well and gave me the foundation to explore the topics I would eventually study further.
SK: Where did Tavin go while you were in class?
EF: Tavin, who is now 9-1/2 years old, was born during the spring semester of my sophomore year of college. I returned to school that fall after taking that spring semester off , and he came with me to two of my classes, approximately one to two hours each day. I was also taking two online classes, which helped give me some flexibility.
At the time, having a baby carrier saved me. He slept most of the time, but I would bring some toys that he could play with as he started to become more mobile by the end of that fall semester. Obviously, the professors from those two classes were supportive of the idea prior to me coming to their first classes. I also had a good friend who would watch him for me from time to time. The following fall, he started daycare at about 16 months of age, and continued there until he was old enough for kindergarten.
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SK: How did he handle daycare and/or preschool?
EF: We live in a moderately-sized metropolitan area, so a daycare center was the right choice for us. He loved it and had so many wonderful experiences there.
SK: What benefits did he gain from his early childhood experiences?
EF: I think that when you are a single parent who has the child 24/7 and are doing basically everything on your own while still so young yourself, it is helpful to have a safe and encouraging environment for your child to go during the day. Since I was still taking classes and didn't have them all day long, I could use the time before picking him up or in between classes to study or do homework, so that I could focus on him as much as possible once we came home at night.
He learned how to trust other care providers, make new friends, and adjust to a variety of different circumstances. The daycare center he went to was multicultural as is the city in which we live, so he learned a lot about being around different types of people and their cultures. They also provided field trips on a regular basis, even for the toddlers, and I often was able to attend those trips due to a flexible student schedule. Even now, in fourth grade, he attends school with some of the children he knew as a toddler!
SK: How did you handle studying while you had a little one at home?
EF: As I had mentioned, I tried to do as much as I could while he was in daycare, but there were many times I had to try to study while parenting, and multitasking in that way does not work very well! Most nights, though, I would put my all into parenting and then study when he went to bed, staying up until the wee hours of the morning when I had to.
I should also say that studying with an infant around is infinitely easier than studying with a toddler around, and things get easier again when a child reaches age 3 or so. By the time I started my master's program, Tavin was 4, and studying was a breeze. I always made sure to focus on him for a while as soon as I got home and through dinnertime. He would easily play by himself and give me some time to study after that, though it truly wasn't very necessary during my master's since my coursework was different and didn't require the type of memorization required for my bachelor's degree.
SK: When did you graduate and what are your degrees in?
EF: I finished my Bachelor of Science in biology in 2006 and a Master of Public Health in maternal and child health in 2009.
Doctor Mom
SK: When did you decide to pursue your Ph.D.?
EF: Before starting my master's degree, I decided that the Ph.D. track would be more fitting for me than the M.D. track. While pursuing my master's degree, I did some work in public health and realized the programmatic side of public health definitely wasn't for me. I knew that I was interested in doing research, but didn't have a clear idea about what kind of research I wanted to do. I was mostly battling with whether I wanted to go the clinical/biological route or the social/behavioral route within maternal and child health research.
I took a year off after my master's degree to solidify those ideas , applied to the Ph.D. program during that year off, and was accepted.
SK: Can you briefly explain what you have to do to get your doctorate?
EF: The program I'm attending requires a master's degree in a related field in order to be accepted. Most people take about four years to finish, and in that time complete two years of coursework, pass a variety of preliminary exams, and write and defend a dissertation. There are, of course, other requirements and experiences along the way, but there is a support system here in order to make sure everything happens. Now that I'm in my third year, I am done with coursework and my first preliminary exam, so I have checked a few boxes on the list at this point! My dissertation has been in the works for over a year.
SK: You are also working, correct? Can you explain your job for us?
EF: Yes, I have held both research assistantships and teaching assistantships throughout these first three years of the Ph.D. These assistantships cover my tuition and health benefits as well as pay a salary, which is typical of graduate assistantships. I am just now finishing up with two teaching assistantships, from which I've gotten experience lecturing, grading, assisting students one-on-one, and so on. I will be starting a new research assistantship in January where I will help with the design, implementation, and analysis of a large clinic- and hospital-based study.
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Tying it all together
SK: Tavin is thriving, your education is becoming more complete, you’re expecting a baby and planning a wedding. How do you do it all, and do it all well?
EF: I don't know that any mom thinks they "do it all" unless she is defining what "it all" means to her and only her. If we were talking about someone else's vision for their family, maybe mine wouldn't measure up, but, to me, I am doing it all every day. My goal is to simply raise a happy and healthy family, including nurturing my son's interests and talents and fulfilling my own ambitions in life.
I have been engaged for almost a year, and my fiance, Brady, has been a tremendous addition to our little family. Not only does he encourage me to complete my own goals, but he is the most wonderfully helpful partner in life and parenting I could ever imagine having. Doing "it all" is certainly easier when you have someone like that in your life.
SK: What do you do for fun?
EF: As I mentioned, we live in a city, and there are so many fun things for families to do here, especially since we experience all the seasons to their fullest. We love seeking out family-friendly events on weekends .
When Brady and I get some time for adult-only activities, we like to seek out new, sometimes fancy, restaurants or bars, although now that I'm six months pregnant we are more likely to be cuddling on the couch and falling asleep early! Of course we like to spend time with our extended families and friends as well.
SK: What advice do you have for moms who struggle? How can they be more motivated and prioritize their time better?
EF: I think that depends on the realm in which someone is struggling. If it's financial, choose an attainable goal that will get you into a more comfortable position in the future. If it's a time issue, find out what time of the day your work or studying is most productive . For me, that was often in the morning.
Find out what your priorities are and be resourceful in order to attain them. Motivation is essentially internal and something that can be tough to muster up as a single or young parent when you have more pressing concerns, though it never hurts to surround yourself with people who energize and motivate you. I find, even now, that being around other Ph.D. students gets me excited about my project when I have been in a lull. Parenting during school can be tough and exhausting, but the personal fulfillment is great and a happy and fulfilled parent is bound to be a better one.
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