Military moms: Sharing the holidays with a soldier

The holidays can be tough when you have a child serving in the military; but these military moms share that their pride can outshine their heartache, even when the distance between them and their soldiers span oceans. However, this time of year is the perfect time for those of us back home to share your appreciation to the soldiers and their military parents, so take a moment to read their stories and send some thanks of your own.

Tracie Ciambotti, Bennett, Colorado

I am the mother of an Army staff sergeant. My life was forever changed when my son enlisted in the Army two days after he graduated from high school. It is a mother's instinct to protect her children. From the moment we feel the first movement as they grow inside us, we take on the role of protector. It is our job to keep them safe and to teach them about avoiding danger.

What happens to our basic instinct to protect our child when he or she is ordered to one of the most dangerous places in the world? The one thing that comes so naturally to us, which we have done with ease for 18 years, is suddenly beyond our grasp. Oh, we still feel the need, but we are no longer able to protect our children! Worse than that, we cannot know exactly where they are, what they are doing, or if they are safe, injured or even alive. What now? How do we get through the day? How do we survive?

My experiences as the mother of a soldier inspired me to help others. I co-founded a nonprofit organization, Military Families Ministry, which supports military families and I wrote a book, Battles of the Heart: Boot Camp for Military Moms.

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Audra Hamlin, Elmhurst, Illinois

My son Haden is in the Navy stationed out of Pearl Harbor in Hawaii on the USS Lake Erie. How do I feel having my son protecting our country over the holidays — proud! My son is an amazing young man who chose to serve his country because he felt it was something he needed to do — it was his calling. It may not be what I would have chosen for him or what I wanted for him but I have confidence in him and his decisions. He is happy. He loves his job and that is all we really want for our children.

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Angie Higa, Mililani, Hawaii

May 2004, our eldest daughter Sheena Higa joined the Air Force. Her decision to join the Air Force at age 18 was a very proud moment for her dad and I and our entire extended family. We were very proud and scared since she joined during the Iraqi war conflict. We all are truly proud of the many sacrifices she has made during her eight year career.

As a family, we faced our biggest fear when she was deployed to Afghanistan in 2009. As parents of a deployed soldier, we face sacrifices, too. I left my 30-year banking career to care for our only granddaughter, who was 1 year old at the time, during Sheena's deployment. It was a decision that we were able to make and blessed that we could financially afford to make.

In November 2012, Sheena left for her second deployment. The holidays are especially hard for Sheena and all the other soldiers who are away from their loved ones. The children of our military are affected too.

The holidays are especially hard for her and Sheena's two young daughters ages 5 and 2. Thank goodness to technology such as Skype and FaceTime and video messages. We are able to capture missed moments. And virtual hugs and kisses are the next best thing.

Discover tips for military moms: Parenting from a distance>>

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Michelle Manning, Watertown, New York

No matter the season, each day is the same; my heart bursts with pride for my son. His path in life I always knew would take him far from home and we would face many holidays with an empty chair at our table. Yet I find comfort in knowing that the memories of holidays past and our family traditions go with him, no matter how far away he may be. I humbly give my son to this great nation, with his strong convictions and unfailing courage to defend our liberty. I pray that He returns him safely when the day is done, the mission complete and peace prevails.

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Christina Ulloa, California

My son David is stationed at Kunsan Air Force Base and he's in South Korea. It is bittersweet. I am very proud of him and what he's doing for your [sic] country, but still as his mother I will always have concerns for his well-being and his safety — and he's so far away.

Thank goodness for Skype and my new phone so I can see for myself that he's OK when he calls two to three times per week. Now that he's been gone so long it gets a little easier but the holidays are always hard. So, whenever we see someone in uniform we try and go and say something to them in hopes that someone will do the same for him. During holidays past he has had friends with families close by who usually invite him to come to dinner, so he has been very fortunate. It also gives him the opportunity to give us a call and hear his voice over the phone. But, we know this time of year is hard for him too, so when we talk to him we try to assure him that he's not missing anything despite the fact we miss him so much.

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Nickie Shawley Somerset, Pennsylvania

How do I feel having my son in the United States Army? I am so very proud of his service, dedication, and commitment to his unit — the 1st Battalion, 187th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 'Rakkasans,' 101st Airborne Division . Just because we are in the midst of the holidays does not change that at all; however, it does intensify some of the other emotions that come with being an Army mom — anxiety, loneliness and the ever-present desire to have my soldier home.

Army moms think about their soldiers all the time, but the holidays seem to hold more 'triggers.' For example, seeing his special ornaments on the tree makes me wonder what he is doing now. Making cookies fills my mind with memories of baking with him in the past. Looking at his empty stocking simply brings me to tears knowing that he will not be there Christmas morning. Do I miss him? Yes! Would I ever ask him to give up his military pursuits? Never! No matter what time of the year it is, my heart will always be with SPC Phillip Shawley, but this year I am especially grateful that my son — along with many other service members — is standing guard so that families all over the United States can experience a peaceful Christmas. I respect his decision to serve at this time and will continue to support him all year long.

Check out these must-read tips for military families: Survival guide>> 

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Lynn Pipitone, California

I think about my soldier son serving in Afghanistan every few hours throughout the day. I wonder what he's doing, if he's warm and mostly if he's staying safe. When I talk to him I make sure I stay supportive and positive. I hang on every word he shares about his duties and his daily life. Christmas is a time for families to be together, make memories and enjoy family traditions, but this year an important piece of our family will be missing. We all want it to feel like it's just another Christmas but it's not. Adam's presence is missed so much.

I worry about him missing everyone at the holidays... we all have each other but he's alone... he does have his Army buddies. To bring him a little bit of 'home' on Christmas I sent a stocking with the same items he receives each year... so it seems familiar. It made me feel better, hopefully it makes him feel better too.

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Valerie Poteete, Las Vegas, Nevada

As a single mom, my bond with my son is very strong. We've been through a lot together. When he decided to join the military, I was nervous, but proud. At some point I realized I had just given my only child to a country I had never seen before. I knew it was there, but I hadn't seen it for myself.

When he made his choice to join the Air Force, I made my choice to move into a motorhome so I could see the country my son was defending. It's been an extraordinary adventure for us both.

So far he has been deployed twice. The first time was nerve-wracking because he had only two day's notice and couldn't share his location because he was on a special mission. Currently, he is on regular deployment in Qatar .

How I feel about him protecting our country during the holidays? I'm proud. Very proud. And excited for him as well. He has seen so many new and exciting locations; has had some amazing experiences. Together we get to share our solo adventures more like friends. I'm still his mom and he is still my baby, but it sure is awesome to see him grow in his own direction knowing I taught him well.

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Pam McMurtry, Kaysville, Utah

My son is in the Army and has been deployed three times at Christmas. Feelings are very tender at that time of year. My first impression was that there were people who hadn't gone to his baseball games, scout outings and school programs that were trying to kill him — that was hard to comprehend. It's painful to have a child in a place where you can't reach them to give them comfort and love. I sent him care packages every month, I really couldn't afford it, but it gave him so much pleasure to have little surprises and treats he loves from home. I missed him the most on his birthday and Christmas. His first year out was the worst — I didn't know if I'd ever see him again. We prayed for him daily, he was a gunner on a Humvee doing missions in Iraq. He said there were times that sniper fire would be kicking up dust all around him, but he was never hit. I thank God for bringing him back safely. He called as he was leaving Kuwait to come home — I cried all afternoon.

His second deployment was hard on him because he knew what to expect. After Christmas we figured out that we could Skype with him because he had computer access. When I saw him, he looked terrible with dark circles under his eyes. I had just read an article about the high suicide rate in the military and was very concerned for his well-being. We Skyped with him often to encourage and give him support and love. He came through it, but with PTSD. He and his wife were at our house on the Fourth of July, we were on the grass in our backyard watching the fireworks, he had to go inside and wait it out. He'll never complain, he's a good soldier and an asset to the military, but the wars have taken a toll on him; he has scars that we may never know of. We are very proud of him and grateful for his service to our country.

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Karen Clark, Watertown, New York

My two sons and one daughter-in-law are U.S. Army soldiers. Around the holidays I feel nostalgic. I like to remember Christmases past when the only desert discussed was the one in Jerusalem; not Afghanistan. This year, we will all be home for the holidays, but a deployment looms. My amazing children, like all soldiers, have volunteered to make sacrifices to make this world a better place. Pride, respect, anxiety and hope are the emotions I feel as my children protect our country during the holidays.

Even when you're not a military parent, you can still show your appreciation to other military moms with a few clicks of your mouse. Take a moment to send some thanks of your own directly to soldiers serving our country through the USO's virtual thank you card or send a holiday gift to the troops through the USO's wish book.

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