Veterans Day photos: Military families

On this Veterans Day, we sat down with veterans and their families to see what effect military life has on a family, and what motivates these brave men and women to serve our country.

Daniel and Toni

Toni, Daniel and Lanie from Fort Polk, Louisiana

Daniel is currently serving in the U.S. Army.

The hardest part about them being away is them missing out on everything you do. Birthdays, anniversaries, etc. Also if you have something very important to tell them you are not always able to. You are always waiting for them to get online or call.

His first tour was in 2003 and all we had was snail mail to keep in touch. It was rough, with maybe one phone call a month. After time and conditions improved overseas we were able to keep in contact with instant messenger and video chats.

Homecomings are hard to put into words. It's a feeling you can't describe to be able to see/feel his touch, his kisses again after months apart. And to see the look and happiness on your kid’s face to see Daddy is priceless. The hardest part about homecoming is letting them adjust back to normal life. Teaching them how you have been holding down the house and kids for the last year without making them feel left out.

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David and Ashley

David, Ashley, Alexis, Mackenzie, Ethan from Kronenwetter, Wisconsin

David is currently serving in the Wisconsin Army National Guard and served 6-1/2 years of active duty with the 2-508th Airborne Infantry Regiment out of Fort Bragg, North Carolina.

It is hard for your husband to be away for a deployment. Everything that could go wrong usually goes wrong within the first month of his absence. I try to remember that I have the kids and my family; that I am not alone. My husband has his fellow soldiers and is going away to a dangerous and unfamiliar place. I think the hardest part while my husband is away is when he misses moments that you cannot get back — such as the birth of our second daughter. She was 6 months old the first time he met her. The all-time hardest thing is the what ifs... what if he's injured, what if he's killed, and so on.

On the first deployment to Afghanistan, it was letters and a phone call maybe once a week. During the second deployment, we wrote letters and he called home a couple times a week. We were lucky and toward the end of deployment number two, we were able to Skype with webcams.

Homecoming is nerve-wracking, exciting and terribly sad all at the same time. You are a little nervous about seeing them, which is so weird. You get butterflies in your stomach thinking about your first kiss in a really long time. It's exciting to get the house perfect, make signs, and pick out that perfect outfit for you and the kids. It is terribly sad when you realize that some of your husband's fellow soldiers will not be getting off the plane to be greeted by family... because they made the ultimate sacrifice and died serving our country and protecting our freedom.

My husband is going to continue his military career into the age of retirement or beyond. He loves what he does and I couldn't be more proud. My husband's military career has helped us get a great start in the civilian life. We were able to become homeowners by the age of 23. We have had the opportunity to meet some great people along the way. We have excellent health insurance.

However, with all of the perks comes great sacrifice. We cannot get back all the things that my husband has missed out on and that makes me sad. We lost a great friend this year, when his old unit deployed. My husband has lost countless friends and fellow soldiers. It was very hard for our family to transition into the civilian life, even though he continued his service by going into the National Guard. I have had to put getting my bachelor's degree on hold because I want to focus on my family and we don't have the money for me to go.

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Sam and Vivid

Vivid, Sam, Enolah and Soren from Quantico, Virginia

Sam is currently serving in the U.S. Marine Corps.

My husband has deployed twice before but that was before we had kids. It was hard but manageable. He is away now for three months at Marine Corps Drill Instructor School and the hardest parts are explaining it to our daughter in a way that she can kind of understand, and taking on double duty.

We're able to keep in contact this time around luckily via text late in the evenings. Sam also sends videos now and then for Enolah to watch. This will be the most challenging job he has done, working 20-hour days for most of the 3 years he'll be a drill instructor but it is what he has always wanted to do and will be really good for his career so it's our job to support him so he can support us.

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Erich and Hurley

Erich, Hurley and Annaliese from Fort Wainwright, Alaska

Erich is currently serving in the U.S. Army.

The hardest part for me was just not knowing what was happening when we couldn't talk for days on end. It got to the point that if I didn't hear from him in three days, I thought the worst.

For him, it was missing so much of Annaliese's life. He missed her birth, her first and second birthday, he missed her first steps — he missed a lot. We kept in contact via Skype mostly. When he traveled he was given a phone card for the airports but there was always a time limit.

Homecoming was like he never left. I don’t think we have a typical relationship — a lot of other spouses had a hard time getting situated at first. I think the weird thing was that he had horrible manners like cursing a lot, but otherwise, it was just like before he left.

He has to put the army first. You can ask any commanding officer, they always say, the soldier didn’t marry a spouse, the spouse married the army. And that is so true.

The military allows you to travel and I am really thankful to have been given the chance to live in Alaska. It's beautiful and without the army I probably would have never visited Alaska. I wonder where we'll go next…

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Michael and Whitney

Michael, Whitney and Riley from Port Orchard, Washington

Michael is currently serving in the U.S. Navy.

The hardest part of being away is not being able to see Riley learn new things. Missed his first steps, first serious hospitalization, first day of preschool. Keeping in contact is fairly easy on an aircraft carrier. There's access to internet and email. How often you're able to use those really depends on your job and how much you're working. Last deployment I was working 14-18 hour days so I didn't have much time. This time I'm able to send a few emails a week and the occasional Facebook chat. While in port I'm able to Skype and Tango when I can find Wi-Fi.

When we pull back into the shipyard I'm able to breathe freely. There's nothing better than seeing Riley's face light up because Daddy is home.

Motivation to serve? More like motivation to support my family. It gets hard being away so often but I just remember that I'm doing this so I can take care of my family. This will most likely be my last deployment since we'll be going into a maintenance period for 18 months after we get home and then I'll be on shore duty for two years. I get out in 2017.

Photo credit: Raina Skye Photography

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Mark and Kathryn

Mark, Kathryn and Mark Ayren from Warrensburg, Missouri

Mark is currently serving in the U.S. Air Force.

When my husband and I were just married, I was active duty as well. He ended up getting orders to Grand Forks, North Dakota and I tried my hardest to Join Spouse but since he got orders a month before we got married they wouldn’t allow a Join Spouse. Then I tried to BOP but since there wasn’t any availability they couldn’t PCS me.

So our first year of marriage we were separated by 1700 miles, and only got to see each other for two weeks out of the year for the holidays. We both deployed during this time, but to separate locations . This was the hardest part for us because it took a deployment to get us this close. The only thing that kept my spirits up was the fact that as soon as I got back to California I’d start out-processing for separation and would be moving up to North Dakota to finally get to be with my husband and start a family.

We would be able to call from work occasionally, and they provided “moral phones” in the community center where you could call anyone during your down time. But the best way was Skype. They had a wireless network in the dorms as well as around the living quarter’s side of base so that pretty much no matter where you were or if your roommate was sleeping you’d be able to get online and contact your family.

On my fourth deployment , as we were flying back stateside we hit a head wind which caused us to burn a lot of fuel. We had to stop in Bangor, Maine to refuel. During refuel, they let us off to stretch our legs . As we were making our way down the halls and into the terminal we were greeted by hundreds of people wanting to thank us for serving our country, shaking our hands, giving us hugs and telling us how much they appreciate our dedication to serve. Complete strangers. It was such an overwhelming and proud moment for me that I knew I was doing the right thing for my country.

Deployments, Exercises, and 12+ hour shifts come with the territory. But you made a commitment to your country, and you have no option but to grin and bear all the frustrations and disappointments that come along with serving. You take the good with the bad, and you learn to adjust quickly. For deployments it’s hard for the first two to three months but then everyone gets into a “groove” and you get into a routine that sort of makes life a little easier.

Skype is a wonderful tool for younger children that don’t understand why Mommy or Daddy are gone for long periods of time. They also provide video cameras and children’s books so that you can “read” to your little ones. The fact that I’ve seen both aspects of military life makes things easier for my family. I know all the frustrations that go along with trying to get everything ready to leave and the ache of missing home each passing day, knowing you’re one step closer to coming home.

For most military members , being in the military is just another job. In most cases, serving their country was not the initial reasoning for joining but usually the educational benefits, traveling the world, health care or a steady paycheck. It’s only after you join and you see all the support that the country and your community shows military members that you feel honored to serve your country. For example, when the National Anthem plays on base and you see everyone outside stop what they are doing and put their hand over their hearts that you truly feel proud to be military, or on Memorial Day where people take the time out of their day to go put flags on all the headstones of the veterans that lost their lives serving. It’s the little things that make you proud to serve.

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Michael and Edy

Michael, Edy, Lauren and Emily from St. Joseph, Missouri

Michael is a Navy Veteran — Active Duty.

I think the hardest part of being away from family, for my husband, was coming home eight years later and everything had changed. People had grown up, gotten married, gotten older. It was still coming home, but to a time-lapsed version. He would write and send pictures in emails while deployed, and if you were very lucky, he'd walk a mile to a phone and call you on your birthday. Those were the most exciting and heart wrenching.

We were home from Virginia Beach exactly one month when we found out we were pregnant with our daughter, Emily Harper. She was his first and my second, and so it was a very special experience for him. We had waited until he had finished his enlistment to have a baby, because he had watched friends of his miss the children's births, first words, first Christmases. He says he feels lucky every day he got to be here for those things, and we pray every day for the brave men and women who can't.

My husband is the strongest person I know, in every way. He carries a sense of pride and dedication with him in all he does, stemming from his eight years of service.

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Jake and Laura

Jake, Laura, Davina, Luke, Andy from Wathena, Kansas

Jake is serving in the Missouri National Guard.

Jake says, “The hardest part of being away was missing out on the kids growing up.” He missed Luke's first steps, as well as missed birthday parties and holidays. There are pictures and videos but it isn't the same as being there in person for each moment.

About coming home, talk with someone when you're feeling down — “getting back to normal” won't happen right away and it can sometimes be difficult when communication between spouses isn't that great from being apart.

Deployments are the only time the family is affected in a somewhat negative away — with the absence of father and husband. Otherwise, the family is affected in positive ways. The kids see their dad as an American hero. They understand that when he has Guard weekend, he is doing something important for all. We are all so very proud of Jake.

More about military families

Top 10 military family blogs
Military moms: Parenting from a distance
Military families: Survival guide