How this mom went back to college

Sarah left behind her college career early on and became a stay-at-home mom to her two boys, but now, nearly a decade later and expecting her first daughter, she has traveled back onto campus as a college mom.

Sarah was born in Missouri, but moved around a lot as a child due to her father’s work — her family made homes in California and Maryland before she settled back in Missouri at age 19. Her mom and dad are celebrating their 44th wedding anniversary in Texas, where they are currently living, as is her older brother.

Sarah enjoyed a fun childhood, which included unique scientific experiments. “I was a weird kid,” she told us. “When I was 6 to 10 years old, we lived on 20 acres of land, 15 of which were timber. We had a dog then and I used to love to pick big fat ticks off of him and smash them with a sledgehammer to see how far the blood would squirt.”

Despite her natural curiosity and love of nature, Sarah did not enjoy being in school when she was a child. “It was torture,” she explained. “Flat out. Despite my ability to be successful with higher level academics, I always felt like I didn't belong there... like I didn't fit... like I wasn't doing as well as I should be... like something was missing... ?”

Sarah always knew that she wanted to be a mom. “In fact, I knew that I was here for that purpose — like a calling or religious vocation,” she said. She thought that at some point she’d experience a revelation about what else she wanted to do with her life, but she never truly figured out what that was going to be. “There were so many things I was interested in, but none of them ever felt like the one thing to which I wanted to devote years of my life, energy, efforts and focus,” she told us.

Straight out of high school, Sarah did enroll in college for two part-time semesters. She was still living with her parents at the time and they moved right before her first full-time semester. She was disappointed because she was finally excited about the classes and had to withdraw. After that final move, she decided to relocate back home, on her own. “The cost of living in St. Joe was cheap and there was a college here, so I moved back here in an effort to continue with college,” she shared. “However, trying to get on my own two feet didn't leave much room for focusing on getting back to school. Then, as it does, life unfolded before me.”

As she said, life unfolded before her in a beautiful way. She got married and had two boys, just two years apart. She never envisioned being a stay-at-home mom until she held her first son for the first time. “I could not imagine leaving him with someone else while I went to work or school,” she explained. “It felt like letting someone else raise my child.”

She explained that being a SAHM was not the reason she didn’t return to school right away — her marriage and children happened when they did because that is when the opportunity presented itself. “Hopefully, just living life would eventually clue me in to what else I might want to do later after my children were older,” she told us.

In late 2006, Sarah decided that she wanted to go back to school, but a previously unpaid bill from her first enrollment to the tune of $1000 kept her out of the classroom. “I didn't think I was ever going to get to go back to school,” she said. “Being a newly divorced, previously stay-at-home mother of two with no real education or work experience — well, a thousand dollars was as unreal for me as finding a unicorn in my backyard.”

Fortunately, in 2010, a dear friend encouraged Sarah by paying off her debt, and in the spring semester of 2011, she was back in school. “It was time,” she shared. “I felt it with every fiber of my being. The offer from my friend to pay off my school debt was not something I could turn my back on.”

Sarah’s major is fine art studio with an emphasis in photography. Which, if you know Sarah, is no big surprise — she has a unique gift for art and photography. She hopes, one day, to find a line of work that pays the bills while giving her the gift of doing something for a living that she enjoys.

Next up: More from Sarah about motherhood and school

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As you can imagine, going back to school while you have children has been a huge challenge. Her boys are old enough to go to school, which helps immensely, but she still has to schedule her classes around their schedule and make alternate plans when the public schools close for snow days and the college campus does not. She’s had to do a fair bit of juggling since going back to school, but now that her boys are 12 and 14, it makes it a lot easier than it would have been if they were younger.

Also, being engaged helps a ton. She met her fiance online as they had a ton of Facebook friends in common. They started chatting, but with Sarah’s lack of babysitters and close family, she was never able to get out of the house. They didn’t meet until they realized that they lived extremely close to one another. "After he came over a third night, I got the news that a dear friend of mine's 2-year-old daughter had died,” she explained. “He came right back over when I told him what happened. He held me while I cried and stayed with me till I was able to fall asleep. We realized shortly after that we were falling in love. The rest is history, I suppose!”

Sarah is expecting a new baby — a daughter — and her due date is April 30. This is very close to the end of spring semester, so Sarah has enrolled in online classes for the next few months.

She has a plan, though, for pregnancy and college: “I’m thinking I might drop in on each of them during their regular office hours to introduce myself so that they'll be able to see with their own eyes that I do have special circumstances that may need to be considered. Plus, I'm planning on trying to get all my assignments done a little ahead of schedule just in case. And likely, unless she's a good week or more overdue, I’ll be taking finals online whilst breastfeeding a newborn!”

Sarah isn’t 100 percent sure what path she’ll travel after her baby is born. Her little girl will be 4 months old when fall semester begins and she’s not sure if she’ll be going back part time then, or even going back at all. “I've been rather disappointed with what college has to offer, as it turns out,” she explained. “Every semester, I've done a great deal of soul searching about the large amount of debt I'm going into in order to pursue this degree — and I feel I’m getting almost nothing in return so far.”

When Sarah weighs the potentials that having a degree can bring against accumulating debt and time spent away from her kids in terms of schoolwork, she’s not sure if going back is the right choice for her. “I’m just not sure,” she said. “And the longer I go to school, the more I'm leaning toward it not being the right thing to continue doing.”

She does feel that going to school has made her a stronger person, and shown her what she’s capable of doing. She feels like college has helped connect more strongly and deeply within her own self, and she’s grateful for that.

Are you thinking about going back to school? Sarah has the following advice for you: ”No matter your own personal obstacles, the only way you'll know if it's right for you is if you try. If you don't at least try, you'll never actually know.”

When asked what the future holds for her, she replied, quite wisely, “We never really know, do we? I know my present holds more gifts and blessings than I thought I'd ever get to have. Two incredible sons who are becoming admirable young men right before my eyes , the true and great love I always dreamed of yet never had the courage to hope for, and a daughter, my own daughter — finally! I can't imagine the future holding anything more wonderful than what I already have.”

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